When did you start feeling like adults?

Post Reply New Topic

Topic. Because I'm 19, so I could be classified as one, but when I compare myself to my parents I feel I'm way closer to being a teenager than a full-fledged adult. Things like being able to support myself have a rather defined starting point (my first job after graduation) but others, like a sense of duty and responsability and.... wisdom... it's unclear when will I have those traits.

So my question is, when did you guys feel like you were fully grown, responsible, and knowledgeable adults, how did you realize that? Was it gradual, or it stemmed from a special event? (for example my birth made my parents mature much faster than they would have otherwise) And what do you think it entails to be an adult?

I'm 43 and I still don't really feel like an adult. There are flashes of it when I change my furnace filter or pay my property taxes, but usually I still feel the same as when I was 12.

Adults are just large kids with bills

I just turned 22 and sometimes I still feel like I'm still 15, 16, or 17.

I'm still seeking my first job yet no employer, despite the crappy economy, takes me seriously.

Hmmm, my inclination would be to say I was an adult at 19, following the birth of my first son, but truly, it wasn't until around 30 that I felt like I was in charge and really, not fully until I divorced my controlling ex-husband when I was 36.

Being over 50 now is really weird. The body is old but my mind seems stuck in my 30's. I even look at my 34 yr. old son and see a stodgy, old, stick-in-the-mud.

Do you think that's aspie? Will I ever feel old? I hope not.

I'm just past 40 now, and not only look younger than my age but also feel much younger, as if I'm anywhere from 20 to 30 at any given time. Probably because it's taken me longer to mature emotionally than for many people. No specific event for me; it's been a life journey.

When I was seven or eight years old I went to vist my uncle Jamboree. He and a bunch of others had just finished pulling seine. (Fishing from the beach). It was a time for celebration so the drinks were flowing. He was passed out on a chair in his house and a bottle of water - or so I thought - was sitting on a table. I helped myself to some. Yikes! It burned! But...the feeling...so nice! It was straight up gin. I staggered all the way home, singing and prancing like a fool, then immediately passed out. I was now an adult.

Still waiting.

When my GF at the time told me she was pregnant. I turned into an adult overnight. I quit smoking pot, worked every overtime hour I could, and grew up into an adult that paid bills on time. I was 27 years old.

I started feeling like an adult at the age of 32 when I started living on my own.

When I started having more "grownup problems." Aging parents, inlaws, etc.

From a chronological viewpoint, when "20 years ago" stopped being something from childhood/teenage years.

51 ... and I still catch myself wondering what I will do/be when I grow up all the time

25 - when I stopped looking up to people, being afraid of stuff, and caring
28 - feels like starting to age

no thanks to my social anxiety I probably still look like a teenager

not looking forward to other signs of aging

Probably at 15.

Reasons being, I was supporting myself completely on my own, living on my own with my best friend, taking care of my bills, attending school & further education and I had a couple of jobs, etc. I had matured enough as a person by that point to feel like an adult completely (as opposed to the many years of partially).

It was mostly gradual, although there were definitely certain events I had to deal with much earlier than normal, that most wouldn't have, which has also contributed to it. When I look back, I can see I went through the typical "college phase" mentality when I was 13 & 14.

I think it entails an ability to look after yourself (and others if need be), to recognize the long term ramifications of your decisions now and take them into account, take responsibility for yourself and your life and any others who depend on you (whether that be your pets or a younger sibling you have to take care of). Of standing up for yourself or others and being calm and assertive about it when need be, or by resolving things through negotiation where applicable and having the wisdom to know which should be applied to the situation and in what measures.

When you start looking for answers inside yourself first, rather than looking outside first. Wisdom is pretty subjective... mostly I have found it's something that you gain through life experience. I think you when you reach a certain point of emotional maturity, where you accept yourself and don't have an on-going battle with your own nature, when you stop judging others by your own standards, etc. When you allow people to be who they are and accept them for that, rather than clinging to the idea of who you think they "should" be to you.

I think sometimes some people are so focused on "acting their age" that they forget that you're allowed to have fun at any age, as long as you're not hurting yourself or others around you in the process. Or they get so caught up in their responsibilities that they forget to take care of themselves. Or they rely on other people for their happiness... I see people that are 60 years old still making that mistake, so clearly one's emotional and mental maturity is not entirely dependent on one's physical age.

I'm sure you'll get there in your own time Shat.

Last edited by Kjas on 06 Jun 2012, 11:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

Every year I do things that make me feel like I'm more of an adult only to look back on the previous year have some sort of "realization" that I'm still very childlike in terms of some responsibilities and mannerisms. I've been feeling like I was an adult ever since I was a teenager, but that didn't make it so.

this.

I'm 36 and married with three kids, and I'm still waiting to be an adult. My wife calls me the fourth.