Running out of ideas on how to cope

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I'm a worrywart, because life seems random with no guarantees. Sh** happens.

Always worried about something. Social standing is precarious due to Asperger's. I know that any moment I could be outcasted or just plain vulnerable to the elements because I don't have a big support system.

Poverty, illness, abandonment......all of these are real threats.

Mental health treatment can only help to a point. The emphasis is largely on "thinking positively". Either that, or some version of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) that tells you to challenge your thoughts.

Either way, trying to change my thoughts to reflect a more positive worldview has its challenges. When faced with a problem, such as social rejection or STRESS, it is hard to suddenly change my way of thinking and somehow feel better as a result.

We all have needs; at least most of us are hard-wired to desire basic things like love and acceptance. When a need like this is not met, I feel deep emotional pain - it is so powerful it feels like i'm suffocating at times..

Yet, most of the stuff that is taught in CBT or other therapies requires a huge amount of concentration.......you have to slog through tons of terms, pages of homework exercises......who has the mind for that?! Some people might, but it feels like advanced calculus........I just can't get anything out of therapy unless it is simple and easy to remember.

Also, it has to feel true. It can't be a forced self-deception or psychobabble to "trick" my mind into thinking more positively.

Also, the unanswerable questions of life itself......the sheer fact that there are no guarantees. No amount of mental gymnastics will make me feel less vulnerable, less questioning of the "point" of it all. It boils down to that fundamental question. I keep asking myself if the pain is worth it.

I have not found a convincing answer. I just continue to worry, because isolation makes worry easier. And having Asperger's makes isolation a stubborn fact of daily life.

The degree of isolation that an Aspie must endure --- yet somehow deal with life's daily stresses --- is a huge challenge to say the least.

I can't think of one comforting statement........one quote that helps me get through daily life. I worry ceaselessly, as there is no anchor to pull me through. I wish I had faith in something greater. I just feel vulnerable to the elements in a pitilessly indifferent universe.

Right now, I'm saying "Don't worry, just find a distraction."

To stay sane, perhaps I should stop thinking altogether. So many times I try to get along with others, and I fail. I do not know what I do wrong.

Running out of ideas on how to cope..... wondering what has worked for all of you?

I sometimes think, "this too shall pass." Works most of the time.

I know how you feel, including about those therapy gimmicks. All I can tell you is to use coping methods. It's not necessary to use all of them, but the ones I use do help me. Here are some good ones.

- Exercise. It generates mood boosting endorphins.

- Read funny stories and watch funny shows. Humor also generates endorphins.

- Eat healthy, and enough of it. A healthier diet will boost your immune system and is also good for your mind. Skimping on amount of food leads to depression, crankiness, and being more prone to get sick.

- Get enough rest. Being tired leads to depression, crankiness, and being more prone to get sick, too.

- Listen to and/or play music. This is mood boosting.

- Take courses, either in person, or online. Some of the online ones are free. The in person ones are a good way to meet people.

- Volunteer. There are people worse off than we are, who would really appreciate the help. It's also a good way to meet people, and boost your self image and mood.

- Take up a hobby or join a club. These are good ways to meet people who share your interests.

- Get involved in community activities. Attend town meetings, events at local libraries and other local organizations. Attend local sporting events, fairs, and art shows. Attend and/or participate in local theater groups. These are all great ways to meet people and boost your self image and mood.

- Employment/or self employment. Great way to meet people, boost self image, put money in your wallet, gain experience. Since you have been having trouble finding work as an employee, perhaps you should consider self employment. There are many types to choose from.

I wish I could help but I find myself struggling similarly. I can't seem to pull myself out of the anxiety phase so that I can deal with things in a healthy way.

One thing that helped me that a therapist recommended is to say when I see myself getting upset is to act like the kind of person you want to be. For example, I want to be a clean, neat, and organized person, so mustering up the energy to "act" like someone who does chores around the house can sometimes be all I can manage, but it's at least enough to get the dishwasher loaded.

I can't function unless I've been eating very healthy, exercising strenuously for at least 40 minutes a day, and getting 9 hours of sleep consistently. I can't function well if I've had more than one drink the night before, either.

I have a problem of trying to avoid answering those difficult questions by getting myself intoxicated or by sleeping all day. I know that that is one of the worst ways to deal with it, but I feel very weak sometimes. In the long run all of those unhealthy coping mechanisms make my life feel worse, but it's hard to see the long-term consequences when you're feeling so miserable and just trying to alleviate your current maddening emotional pain.

I know how you feel too. Especially about therapy and CBT. When I had CBT I ended up more frustrated than when I started it!

Anyway, coping mechanisms:
I keep a journal and when I'm really upset or worried I write in that.
Playing sport/doing exercise helps too.
I set myself tasks to do in the day. Even if it's a small task like going for a walk, anything.
And I collect fun quotes pictures, jokes etc and keep them all in one book.
I also have a small photo album of the people I know care about me.

I know exactly how you feel. Or as much of how you feel as I can assume, as I am not you nor do I know you. I do, however, identify with what you've written here.
There's not much that I can tell you that hasn't already been said here, from what I can see. I do know that despite how urgent or pressing the worrying gets, emotions are contextual. There are times when I feel the absolute worse, and think that that is all that there is, and then something will happen that will snap me into a completely different mindset. Then I get unsettled that I'm basically an organic machine, but I digress... I often wonder about the "point" myself--actually, I consider the point my Aspie fixation, along with existential philosophy (particularly those found from the Enlightenment period). At this point though, I think that we have to make out own points.
I don't think that there is a point. But in some ways that's where the beauty writhes in. Do take advice from the people that have posted here, as I've read some things that seem to help me out. It may seem odd or disingenuous to take advice from words on a computer screen (it is for me, at least), but, as mentioned, some of the steps listed here appeal to me.
My original point being that you ultimately control you. It's the only thing that you can control. Not in the respect of "make myself happy," but things get better. Particularly if we make them better.
There have been times where the isolation was too much to bear, and then there have been times when I stepped outside, took a walk, or did something that I enjoy.
You're not alone, buddy.

Sweet Pea hugs