People with AS who give Asperger's Syndrome a bad name...

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So there's this one kid at my school that everyone knows has Asperger's Syndrome because he goes around telling everyone. However, he's more schizo (and also somewhat bipolar- he takes his imaginary world of dragons and genetically engineered mutant warriors too seriously, to the point where it could potentially destroy him) than anything. I already mentioned him in a topic on Otherkin in the adolescent forum. Anyway, it disturbs me that this is the kind of person by which other people I know judge AS.
I heard someone talking about him as "that crazy kid with Asperger's Syndrome", and I tried to explain to said person (whom I've known for a long time and know to be trustworthy, so no harsh judgements on him from the rest of you) that the person he was discussing was more schizo than aspie, but he said to me that the subject of our discussion "only seems crazy because he doesn't have any social skills. It's in the definition." Now, I've had both the fortune and misfortune to be a psycho magnet my whole life and I have a good crazydar, and the kid we were talking about is definitely FUBAR.
There's also a person at my school who is very hyper and bizarre and probably mildly ret*d, and I was asked if said hyper-bizarre-retarded person had AS. I had to explain the definition of Asperger's Syndrome, and that the hyper-crazy-retarded person didn't display the high IQ or obsessive interests that define Asperger's.
And I also heard a girl tell me a personal horror story about how she'd been assaulted by a boy with Asperger's Syndrome.
Now, I'm going to pull out another card in this little equation: Nobody knows that I have Asperger's Syndrome, and, judging by what people think Asperger's Syndrome is, I don't want them to. And if this is what people think AS is, the thought of someone in charge of a job or position I'm applying for looking it up and seeing it somewhere on my personal records very much disturbs me.

i think that if you want to, you can keep your as a secret, but you don't need to, you could look at it differently, you may be able to change these peoples opinons on AS by telling them you have it. if you try to just fit it into a conversation, and you are able to come across as a nice person, it may not be a problem. most kid's at my school know that i have autism, i don't just tell everyone, like that other kid with AS at your school, it just sort of spread. some people don't believe me because it is so mild. but it really doesn't change their opinion on me. i don't think it will on theres. and as for job app's, no need to worry, they may do a search on you over the web, but they won't on your autism, that is discrimination, and it is illigal. they cannot ask you any personal questions. you have nothing to worry about. but i am only looking only in one veiw, yupa. you are a teen right? well i know what you are going through, i am almost 13. we are going through alot of stress right now. and what other people think can bother us, we don't want to come across as losers. but i can tell you right now, there is nothing to worry about. peer pressure can be overcome. quoting my health teacher, " when your an adult, you won't care what they think of you." hope i helped!

I don't tell people I have it. Actually, for the first time ever a couple weeks ago, I told two people, only I said autism rather than aspergers because I didn't feel like describing at length what aspergers is. They were extremely surprised, and said they would never have guessed. In fact, I don't think any of my friends would guess in a million years that I have a "disorder", because I am very smart and have good social skills. I only act aspieish under stress, particularly around my parents.

One of the problems is that it is the really messed up autistics and aspergers that people know have it. The people that act normal, such as myself, are unknown as having it, so people see these messed up people and to them, that is what autism is. Part of me feels like I should let some people know I have it, just so they are more aware of what it is, and that it is not a disorder. At the same time, I don't want to be associated with the really crazy people. So its something that maybe I will tell people who are good friends, but its not something I want to tell people in the beginning, because then they will view me through the lense of aspergers, rather than the condition through the lense of me.

I hear ya!

I remember talking with my buddy and another person, who didn't know I suspected I had AS (no formal diagnosis, so socially, I can't say I have it, so I have to talk in vague terms), and he chimed in, "Yeah, I know a ret*d person too." I laughed, but it definitely illustrated the perception and perception is reality.

The media is also hurting this too. From it I learned about AS and then looked deeper into it. Now that everybody knows about it, if I say I have it, I must be being influenced by TV because it is the latest trend. So, I am loathe to mention it. What's worse, those people who assume that AS means being Einstein just assume you're trying to look smart. You can explain to them all you want about how the DSM doesn't include that, but they'll just go into an empty gaze. It's even worse if people call you a genius before knowing about it. Then, any hard work you do to achieve is cancelled out by it, explained away by some freakish brain-thing - Rainman again. I don't count cards (but wish I did!)

So, I've learned that there is no social situation that I've found yet where it is wise to mention it. The best you can get is a look of pity and have people treat you like you're disabled. Or, it will add a layer of complexity to the communication that makes it even harder.

I also find it hard to talk about it on WP without a formal diagnosis. Even though AS explains my life from day 1, and my parents wholeheartedly agree with it, stating that the psychologists told them the same thing (but didn't use the name, unfortunately), it isn't proper for me to even claim I have it and it is too exhausting to add all the asterisks to my speech, so generally, I've stoped talking about it and am just mentally taking it under advisement. More than half the reason I talk on here is because I manage to alienate myself from any other forum on the Internet (and I think I've actually come close to doing that at WP, since I can recognize the patterns. Luckily, I'm getting wiser as I get older and can stop the bleeding. It's fun being the exception to the rules, isn't it? You probably know what I mean.) So, I find myself drawn to WP, yet repelled from it at the same time because some pychologist didn't tell me the magic words. It makes me feel like I'm pretending and I feel guilty about it. I've learned to hate psychologists with the deepest of passions and I'd rather just drop the whole subject than see another one.

What really bugs me is when I see someone with AS using it as an excuse to treat people poorly. Although people who suffer from AS may not be able to express their internal state and interpret someone else's internal state well, it doesn't mean they can't learn and practice simple etiquette and politeness. There are pretty established rules out there for basic human behavior that an AS person should follow and they are no secret. People read actions too. Most people assume that I'm a jerk because I do not communicate with them non-verbally, but they get to know me from my actions and realize that I'm not. Things like bending-over backwards to help a friend. It always surprises them when I do that - AS explains to me why.

This is everywhere - a group of people getting a bad wrap from the unstable minority amoungst them. The key is educating, informing and teaching them to dispel this ignorance - though it's an uphill battle there.

I don't think you have AS Yupa, you sound like you get along pretty well when it comes to social skills. I'm thinking you were probably misdiagnosed.

Of semi-relatedness: It seems like AS has become something of a popular thing to have - it's like the holy geek disease or something. People are trying too hard.

IAWTC. I've seen the same thing happening in Paganism. It doesn't matter how large a % of a given minority are decent people living normal lives, it only takes ONE nutter to shape public perception negatively. This effect seems to be several orders of magnitude greater if the minority in question is perceived as being odd, mentally unstable or possibly dangerous.

I wonder if the mad Otherkin kid at Yupa's school has a pair of strict curebie parents who've driven him into his little fantasy world with their efforts to "cure" him. I once knew an annoying Otherkin (though I don't think his behaviour was as extreme as the kid Yupa's described) who seemed to have been made that way by his parents efforts to make him normal.

Holy geek disease?

Let me in let me in!

"baa baa"

Anyway..


I'm called a genious often, or arrogant, or most often told I "think too much"

I either try explain autism at this point, or simply explain that its the only way I know how to live.

Yupa, it's ironic YOUR making this post... A few weeks ago you were laughing with people on a forum someone presented here where they were openly making very biggoted statements against AS. Of coarse I've never really had alot of respect for you, even before that.

Did you then go on to explain that it's not a lack of social skills but a lack of knowing what's an acceptible way to express emotion?

I have a myriad of emotions running through me at any given time. I feel all of them, as do most people with AS brains. I don't know how to express the emotions I'm feeling in a way that won't make the NT's freak out, so I chose to bottle up what's going on with me. Other people see me as having a really chilled out exterior. Inside my brain however, I could be thinking about a hundred different things all at once, or sometimes, thinking about only one thing.

I have never heard it explained better!

1.That doesn't mean I usually hang out with people very often outside of school, mainly due to the fact that my friends have either moved away or graduated from school and gone on to study out of town. I've always been poor at keeping in contact, because I've always been afraid to take action and get contact information regarding people I know
And definitely don't assume that I have any luck trying to find a date, although both straight women and gay men often compliment me on my cuteness or attractiveness.
In anycase, even though I don't really have social skills, most people are nice to me (those who aren't usually wisen up after they've been given a while to know me). And I do make weird socially akward comments that either freak people out, make them laugh, or both.
Also, don't make the mistake of judging a person by the way they sound online. Someone who sounds like an angsty teenage boy online may be a famous actress in real life.
2. I was diagnosed when I was little, and had a very specific daily routine of locking myself up in my room, writing or drawing something relating to whatever interest caught my fancy at the time (dinosaurs, outer space, etc. all at different points in time for long stretches of time), and I would follow it up by watching my favorite movie at the time straight through. I went through my different obsessive phases more quickly as I went older, even though they used to last a really long time when I was little.
3. I have a high IQ (though sometimes I think I'm a ret*d and that I guessed or christmas-treed all the answers on my IQ test: In fact, I can't really remember taking an IQ test, since it was probably when I was really little, although I'm sure my exact IQ is written down somewhere)

But enough of that crap. This topic isn't specifically about me.

Last edited by Yupa on 21 Nov 2006, 9:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.

To be honest, I really have no idea what you're talking about. I think you're probably taking whatever it was out of its proper context.
And I have no idea who you are, but judging by how serious, angry, hostile, and full of machismo you seem to be, I doubt that you're any more respectable than I am.

My emotions have always felt overwhelmingly extreme.. But lesser in terms of variety or subtlety I guess.

Its hard for me to tell others as a result, unless they're really happy or really angry.

I ALWAYS have a rhythym moving in my head (usually with 3-4 melodies and parts too) while thinking to myself (talking in my head but faster than I can speak). Sometimes the thoughts become too much for me to actually handle, if that makes sense.

Don't worry bout the relevance of this post, it fits, somewhere.

I've been criticized before by anther person with AS for "making him look bad". But sometimes, AS *really is* that bad.

I wish people would learn that people don't make their disability look bad; they make themselves look bad. If I were him, I would have stopped complaining and accepted that some people generalize about us, and that it means they're ignorant and sometimes stupid. Would you really want to be friends with stupid people?