When is it good to just tell people to f**k off?

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I hate it when people make jokes to the extent of personal insult. I usually just tolerate it without really coming up with any good comebacks so I don't look thin skinned. However, what irks me is some people like to keep teasing you, when u really don't ever come up with any good comebacks, and you'd think they'd get bored since its not a level playing field in that type of socializing. So, at some point, I think they're just getting off at the fact they can say whatever to you without any type of retribution. i feel like just telling people to f**k off. It would really make me feel better. I'm not good with clever quips, but at least they'd know my boundaries. Maybe their feelings would be hurt, but I don't really feel like holding my anger back for them. I'd really love to just go ballistic on lots of family and acquaintances. I actually hate a lot of my family, because they really do think I'm stupid or passive or something. Its not like their lives aren't f****d up. A lot of them are just as*holes with their own personality issues and f****d up s**t going on in their lives.

[quote="JNathanK" I'd really love to just go ballistic on lots of family and acquaintances. I actually hate a lot of my family, because they really do think I'm stupid or passive or something. Its not like their lives aren't f**** up. A lot of them are just as*holes with their own personality issues and f**** up sh** going on in their lives.[/quote]

You could "go ballistic", tell everyone to f**k off and die already, and then just repeat the pattern of anger, fucked-upness and "s**t going on". Or, you could rise above and do something that angry, messed up people really don't know how to deal with, and get them to leave you alone. You may have some ideas in mind already. When people insult you (deliberately), and then if you were to respond with telling them to f**k off, they'd see they'd affected you, and get off on that. Don't give them the satisfaction.

Some things that have worked for me when people try to bully me: be totally rational, calm, and cool. It throws people for a loop when they see I really don't give a damn about their petty concerns, or things that I just don't find interesting, and it gets them off my back. I've found my own interests, and I cheerfully work on that. Or pretend to be cheerful at it. Really just not give those people the time of day.

Have you asked your family if they actually think you're stupid or passive? If they disagree, maybe they're just not communicating their concerns with you effectively. Like, they just don't know how to treat you with respect, because they haven't learned how. As you yourself have noticed and said, it sounds like they have a lot of stuff going on, so they might not even be aware that they are talking to you like that.

If you don't already know, try to figure out what exactly it is that they're saying that makes you feel that you are being given those negative messages. Write the words down. Or is it in their body language, their tone of voice? Or something invisible? Think for yourself of how it would be better said. How you would want it to be said to you. If you can, or if you think they'd be willing to listen, ask them to use those words instead. What matters is that you know how you'd like to be spoken to, that doesn't make you feel bad about yourself.

For my anger at these people, I usually go for a run, do push ups, punch something that won't damage my knuckles.

Good luck

You could "go ballistic", tell everyone to f**k off and die already, and then just repeat the pattern of anger, f****-upness and "sh** going on". Or, you could rise above and do something that angry, messed up people really don't know how to deal with, and get them to leave you alone. You may have some ideas in mind already. When people insult you (deliberately), and then if you were to respond with telling them to f**k off, they'd see they'd affected you, and get off on that. Don't give them the satisfaction.

Some things that have worked for me when people try to bully me: be totally rational, calm, and cool. It throws people for a loop when they see I really don't give a damn about their petty concerns, or things that I just don't find interesting, and it gets them off my back. I've found my own interests, and I cheerfully work on that. Or pretend to be cheerful at it. Really just not give those people the time of day.

Have you asked your family if they actually think you're stupid or passive? If they disagree, maybe they're just not communicating their concerns with you effectively. Like, they just don't know how to treat you with respect, because they haven't learned how. As you yourself have noticed and said, it sounds like they have a lot of stuff going on, so they might not even be aware that they are talking to you like that.

If you don't already know, try to figure out what exactly it is that they're saying that makes you feel that you are being given those negative messages. Write the words down. Or is it in their body language, their tone of voice? Or something invisible? Think for yourself of how it would be better said. How you would want it to be said to you. If you can, or if you think they'd be willing to listen, ask them to use those words instead. What matters is that you know how you'd like to be spoken to, that doesn't make you feel bad about yourself.

For my anger at these people, I usually go for a run, do push ups, punch something that won't damage my knuckles.

Good luck [/quote]

Well I dont ask them anything concerning myself really, so I don't come off as bitchy, sensitive, and needy. They don't think I'm completely stupid, but I still hate certain types of prodding and teasing, because I really don't have that particular type of intelligence to come up with a good comeback. I'm just not observant enough I guess, or if I do I have a tendency to go overboard and come off as mean. Its just BS I dont like to deal with.

I know what you're getting at my friend, I've never been quick witted myself, I find if you don't react for the first few and show they can't affect you with their words often people give up after that, but if after a while they don't let up, state to them that their snide/hurtful/insulting comments are hurtful etc in a very stern way, make sure you're understood and you've had enough, (I find this can work well if either you sit them aside away from people and explain to them the issue or you do it in front of others, people work differently to either, I often find the former is better than the later.) if it continues, leave the room/area etc, go home. If it's family and they are always in your face this can be hard, especially if you live with them, I highly suggest moving out if that's the case. If worse comes to worse and it still happens, just punch them out, I can guarantee you they will take you seriously after that, because honestly if they harassed you to that point, they don't deserve to be called family or friends.

But don't get my wrong, I'm not bitter, I'm actually quite happy and full of life to a fault, I just wont be stepped on.

But seriously, my earlier suggestions are the best approach, if it's in a work place environment take it up with your supervisor if talking to the fellow employee has failed, if he or she doesn't take it seriously, bump it up to a higher channel, if that doesn't work, time to break out the lawyers, just make sure you've done your ground work before then.

Hope that helps mate, hang in there.

Now that I think of it....did I miss the point or detract from the original question, I am into half a bottle of red, so apologises. Well...for getting it wrong, not for being half a bottle in haha! =)

When somebody is ur friend and they lie to you alot. Then when you need help they are not there 4 you even though you are always there 4 that person. Also if you want to hangout with them and they have many excuses 4 why they cant at the moment. Then when you talk to that person they are usually bragging alot. Needless to say I am not friends with that person anymore.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd2DI0nzeoU[/youtube]

Yah, the last thing I wanna do is handle it this way. I'd probably freak out like that too, being that he has a hard time finding women, and his sisters keep calling him gay boy.

nah its good advice. I appreciate

Good for you mate, yeah fake people like that I see a mile off now, I guess my 'Full of s**t o'metre' is state of the art now, you know something is wrong when you start speaking to a person and you can see 'I have an agenda' printed all over his face (figuratively speaking of course =) ) You just don't need people like that in your life.

Wow look at that, the pinnacle of the ignorant NT family, those girls are total b*****s, more likely they have severe insecurity issues and in order to feel better about their s**t lives they pick on the weak.

All the time - Ah I wish

They're probably just jealous cause he has a successful business making novelty plungers. I think this is my favorite Adam Sandler movie.

Lol, true dude. =D

I tend to "one-up" people with insults, it's one of those things I'm good at. There are a lot of things I can't do, but when it comes to insulting people, intentionally or intentionally, I'm the master.

I envy you

All it takes is practice, if you have a buddy or two you can get to help you, just exchange 5 - 10 minutes worth of insults every time you meet for a while and you'll start to get both rude and rapid with the insults.