Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

Cmurray93
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3

18 Jun 2012, 1:21 am

Ok every time I'm upset my parents refuse to help me and call me a p**** or selfish and don't care for there feeling. Because I have PDD-NOS socializing with people is near impossible So i try to go to my parents for support but always get mad at me and don't listen to me. Why are they doing this and can someone on this forum please help me too address this.



outofplace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2012
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,771
Location: In A State of Quantum Flux

18 Jun 2012, 1:39 am

It's a complicated question that is almost impossible to answer without first knowing your parents. It could be anything from selfishness on their part to frustration stemming from a lack of understanding. Plus, you could also be misreading the situation in some ways as well, further adding to the interpersonal static between you.


_________________
Uncertain of diagnosis, either ADHD or Aspergers.
Aspie quiz: 143/200 AS, 81/200 NT; AQ 43; "eyes" 17/39, EQ/SQ 21/51 BAPQ: Autistic/BAP- You scored 92 aloof, 111 rigid and 103 pragmatic


Callista
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,775
Location: Ohio, USA

18 Jun 2012, 5:14 am

Unfortunately, you can't change them. They made their choices, and if they choose not to support you, that says much more about them than it will ever say about you.

I've had to make the decision to distance myself from my mother because she doesn't support me--she flips from believing I am incompetent and shouldn't be living on my own, to believing that I can't possibly be autistic and must simply be lazy and overdramatic. Either way doesn't help me; either way doesn't let me be myself. If she doesn't accept me as a disabled adult woman who makes her own decisions, I can't keep chasing after her to try to get her to give me the validation I wish she'd give me.

It's tough to make it on your own and I think you'll probably always care what your parents think of you. Still... at some point, you have to decide, hey, I'm my own person--my parents are fallible people, and they can be wrong and they can believe things about me that aren't true. You have to decide to do what's right for you regardless of what your parents think of you.


_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com

Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com


Bunnynose
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 May 2012
Age: 67
Gender: Female
Posts: 200

19 Jun 2012, 11:30 pm

Cmurray93, do you have siblings and, if yes, are they treated the same way? And when they ask your parents for help and support, do they ask in a manner differently from yours?



Last edited by Bunnynose on 20 Jun 2012, 12:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Callista
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,775
Location: Ohio, USA

19 Jun 2012, 11:49 pm

Me? Well, one of my sisters is still living at home; the other left home at sixteen and moved to China at twenty-two (she's back now but still three states away from Mom). Even my littlest sister, who's in her late teens now, knows she can't really trust my mom to know any better than she does. So I think it's safe to say we're all kind of used to not being able to really depend on our mom to back us up. She's much too fond of trying to squish us into the shape of her imaginary ideal children, and none of us like that.


_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com

Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com


deltafunction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jun 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,094
Location: Lost

20 Jun 2012, 12:46 am

I deal with mine by limiting how often I talk to them.

I chose to live away from home as soon as I could, and never went back.

I don't know why your parents are doing this, I'd have to know more information. Perhaps it's because they don't bother to educate themselves on PDD-NOS, or to try to understand the real root of your problems.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 93 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 109 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits