AS/Sensory issues and dealing with step-son with Tourette's

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So I don't know where to turn or what to do.

Back story: I am about to be married. My fiancée's son was not living with her when we moved in together, as he had chosen to live with his father in the city. He would occasionally visit, but usually only for two or three days at the most. And his mother was always there as well. He is a decent kid. He's almost 20 and very smart. But he is on the spectrum with suspected Tourette's. He moved in with us two months ago and it has been hell for me.

My sensory issues cause my startle reflex to be extremely touchy. I don't like loud noises, shouting, or the like. He is loud. He is screechy and screamy. He stomps and hops around. He is also very excitable. He likes to call his friends on the phone and just shout a single word at them and hang up, slamming the phone down. He also likes really screamy music that he likes to play loudly.

I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to have a meltdown. I have had several mini-meltdowns since he moved in. I've tried to tell him that shouting and sudden noises make me anxious but he can't control all of them. Plus I don't know how fair it is to make him conform to my needs and not compromise some.

My own children grew up with my sensory issues and have no problem with adjusting as needed. Granted, they could control all of their sounds. I don't know which he can control and which he can't. I know some of it he can but I get tired of the eye-rolls and sighs of annoyance.

To top it all off his mother works, for weeks at a time, far away. So I am the only one in the house with him (and my youngest child). She is a fellow Aspie but doesn't have the same sensory issues I do so he doesn't bother her at all. She doesn't even notice (which seems crazy to me).

Do any other Aspies have experience from a parenting perspective? Do you have a child that pushes your sensory buttons through no fault of their own?

Get him a pair of head phones for the radio, so you won't have to listen to it full blast. Get him a pair of slippers to wear around the house, so his stomping around won't be so noisy. Restrict phone priviledges to normal waking hours, but not at meal times. Also, no phone rants of any length--one word or a thousand. If he acts up he loses phone priviledges.

He sounds like he has too much pent up energy. During the day give him active chores to do, and when there are no chores send him outside to exercise. If he refuses to do the chores and/or exercise, he loses TV/Game/Computer priviledges. How about having him start a family garden? It can help boost his mood as he will be helping out the family by raising some of the family's food, which will bring the food budget down. He should plant stuff that everybody in the family likes, including stuff he likes. This is exercise/chore/money saver/ and can be fun, too. He can even learn to can and dry some of the food to store for eating after the growing season has passed.

If you can direct him in ways to burn off that energy, he will be tired and quieter in the evenings, so you should at least get some peace then.