Mootoo wrote:
For those who say they don't feel lonely because they can do different activities: I understand, but there is a difference between boredom and loneliness too. I can easily stave off boredom, and while a person certainly can not feel lonely while alone, that's not necessarily due to doing activities, right?
Are you saying activities induce loneliness? No, I don't think anyone is saying that. What I find is that when I am able to get involved in my special interests I am not lonely, being fully absorbed. It's when I'm tired & stressed that the feelings of loneliness come up. It used to really drive me into a very painful place, but now I just notice it, & get logical w/it... do I want to go out? No. Is there anyone I know I actually want to be with that very instant? Usually no. Am I willing to do the social dance to go out & engage w/people. No. What has experience shown me? That I go & feel like s**t in the midst of many people which makes things even worse. So better to stay home in my space, & do my thing w/out other's judgements. And recognize that I'm tired, stressed & need to address that issue rather than the culturally programmed loneliness.
All those happy images of happy families, relationships, etc in movies, comedies, etc is just BS, magnificent BS. It gets in our brains & creates unreasonable expectations. It's fantasy, complete & utter fantasy. I remember throwing a pillow at Cher playing the loving mother on TV when it really hit me how pop culture was programming us.