Things YOU Understand (but Don't Understand) About NTs

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...that is, are there things about NT behavior which you do understand in theory, but find baffling as to why they think that way?

It's said Aspies are clueless about social customs, social behavior, etc., and that they truly don't get it. But do you find that there are things you actually do 'get' about NT behavior, that you're not clueless about, but that you disagree with in principle or can't fathom why it must be this way?

Please, I'd like for you to share you observations and feelings. And don't say, "they like bars and clubs, I like the library," that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about behaviors that you do comprehend, that you're not oblivious to, but that seem foreign to you.

Religion - and I mean no offense to any religious people here, at all - I don't care if people believe in them or not (in one of my bands I'm the only atheist/apatheist among a bunch of christians but we get along just fine). I just don't get why so many believe in them - without evidence. I remember as a child asking my mother questions like "who created god?" or "what if there is no god?" or any number of similar questions - I got no answer, just slaps, often accompanied by "Devils come out! Devils come out!"

But I understand that often people are taught to believe in it from birth and do so unquestioningly - I also think that (and this is not backed by evidence, just a suspicion) maybe religions are just a coping mechanism so people can deal with the fact that they're going to die (although they do this by not accepting that fact, essentially, depending on the religion), as well as problems in life and times when they're helpless.

Again I don't mean to bash religious people at all - if you're religious then good for you, I hope you enjoy it. I just do not understand it, is all.

No, I'm not religious. Perhaps for many, it's a social and possibly tribal thing. They all do the rituals and feel a sense of belonging.

However, I was talking more about generalities of NT behavior as opposed to social institutions.

I'm guessing you don't understand it because it is unfathomable. Religion is like an imaginary friend. You can't disprove it because it's invisible, it doesn't exist, yet some people are extremely close to their imaginary friends and find them comforting and perhaps a way to escape reality.

Religion to me, is like a blanket. I understand it perfectly well, like a well-read folklore, I even understand why people need it in their lives. What I don't understand is how people can believe it long after they need it.

I went to church for a while, because I thought I needed to fit in, yet religious people are no different to the non-religious society. In fact, they're less welcoming and slightly paranoid. I found nothing "special" about them, other than they actually believe that when they speak in gibberish, they are communicating with an entity. There are thousands of religions, all tailored to suit the founders lifestyle. Also known as cults, yet Catholicism and Christianity are mainstream, so they can't possibly be a cult.

I spent so much of my teen years angry at people for believing in religion. To me, it is unfathomable why people would believe in something where all the evidence is discreditable.

Anyway, yeah I guess that's what I understand but don't understand.

I'm not sure if this is an exclusively NT trait, but most people seem to find that talking about their problems makes them feel better, to 'get it off their chest'. I understand that many experience this, but I've never found it to be true for myself.

I can understand the "theory" of why NT's have one rule for the people they like, and another for the people they don't like. But it baffles me that they do this, because it is inconsistent and makes them out to be untrustworthy.

Example: A person may overlook an indescretion of someone they like, but not overlook it for someone they don't like.

The tendency to look for the "implied" meaning in what they hear.

This is a major point of frustration for me. I understand that NTs do this, but I still don't understand why they have to, even when I specifically say "no, no, I really meant exactly what I said". Why is that so hard for them to believe?

That goes with how Satanism is a type of atheism because the devil is a christian belief.

There is the 'emperor wearing clothes phenomena' that I loathe or even detest. And, I find it quite unsettling that someone can throw in their lot with the "big guns'' even in the face of contrary evidence. The human heart( the seat of motivation) is tricky, and it perplexes me that one can emotionally invest into something, due to solely 'the liking it', because it is something they want to believe or' believe in it' -- the strangest human phenomena. I've noticed a volition or choice ,and why this overrides the other choice -- that choice in wanting evidence or more proof - is scary - it's like a drug - "the will of Landru."

Precisely. And, related: NTs oftentimes generalise. For instance, yesterday I had a GP appointment. I entered, alone, and stood at the receptionists desk. Some other man came in too and there were quite a few people standing around. Automatically, it was somehow assumed I was with this man. No! I said, 'No, he's a complete and total stranger to me.' They could not seem to comprehend that just because he was standing kind-of near me did not necessary mean we were together. I've had this same occurrence happen to me A LOT. And it's hard to untangle their mind! I confess this is perplexing, and sometimes annoying.

There is a psychological phenomena called coupling - it's to pair one thing/event with another. That is, bread goes with butter, etc. To much higher levels, obviously. Oftentimes coupling is a good learning technique but it's assumptive and can then be counterproductive. ASD people notoriously don't couple; hence the discrepancy.

Conjecture, but I think a good reason why many Aspies are known to be good at science/maths (note: Not all Aspies are math/science oriented, of course, but there are notable scientists, mathematicians, etc. who are) is because we do not 'couple' or rely so much upon such assumptive reasoning.

I understand the rationale behind all the NT rules that I'm aware of. Many of them I had to analyse and research for several years before I discovered their rationale. I'm pretty sure I'll discover some more rules, and will again need time to discover the rationale. But now I know a principle that shortens the path of analysis - most NT behaviors I don't share or understand stem from the sheep mentality we don't have, i.e. it's more important to protect the group with its leader than it is to think and self-fulfill.

Ah, I see. In that case I have more.

Small talk - while I realize it's probably a useful thing developed to figure out whether someone is friendly or whether they're possibly an enemy/bad/whatever, I feel it is very pointless. I hate small talk. Every time someone engages in it with me (which is pretty much at the start of every conversation with an NT), I feel like time is being wasted, and I often just skip right to the point. For example someone will say "hey how's it going?" and I often say "what do you want?" or something similar such as "what's going on?" rather than answering their question. If I do answer it I almost always say "I'm fine." and then try to get to the point. The people who know me well are used to it and fine with it - some even just SKIP the small talk (my best friend is one - although he has heard at length about my feelings on small talk and also knows I have autism - he was also one of the few to know lots about autism before I told him I had it).

What seems weird is that NT's perceive many things that I do not - extra communication that I do not detect well or am not aware of - body language for example - yet they have all this unnecessary, time wasting verbal communication with small talk (at least that's how I feel it is).

I don't understand what you're trying to say. Could you elaborate/clarify?

I understand all NT behaviour and I ''get'' social cues, mostly by instinct. It's the way people compete and judge eachother what throws me, like being afraid to go out ''looking funny''. I know I'm a hypocrite with this because I don't like going out looking funny either, and I know how NTs feel about feeling different. Even if I argued that why worry over what strangers think of you, but I still know what they mean even though I still seem to turn it into an argument with someone says, ''oh does this look funny?'' (even though they're dressed in clothes that I know look trendy and what other people are wearing). I wish I could follow the attitude, ''clothes are clothes to me, people will look if I didn't have anything on at all!'' and just wear what I think, but, like NTs, I'm hypersensitive to other people's opinions and reactions and I get easily affected and fear standing out and not fitting/blending in.

Satanists claim not to believe in god/satan or an afterlife, so they're considered to be atheists.

Interesting conjecture. I never thought of "coupling" specifically, just aspies, being more logical, but you could be onto something here.