I can't have a conversation I can only make small talk

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I can't have a conversation. I can only make small talk and that's it even though I do want to talk. When I say small talk I mean if someone asks me a question like how did you get that? I can explain or if someone asks me are you done yet? I can say yes. If I need to know something I can only ask to get information or if i need something like change I can ask do you have change? But when it comes to actually having a conversation I can't have one I can't hold a topic like I'm interested and obsessed with anime that is a topic to talk about but what is there to talk about anime? nothing?!?! I can't have a conversation about a topic. I can only do small talk. I want to be able to talk and get to know people but I can't! Do Aspies have this problem to where they can't have an actual conversation? It really bothers me =S.

I only talk if I absolutely know something if I have to explain or train someone on the job I talk to show them how to use a talzone but that is about it.

I have this problem too. I can only exchange information and respond to direct questions. It's very frustrating because I think about stuff that I would like to talk about, but I just don't know how to do it. It's like that part of my brain stops working when I'm with someone.

That happens to me when I'm absorbed in a special interest, or in a bad mood.

Some days I can talk a whole lot...thought it might not be what they want to talk about.

That's a new one to me. Most of the posts I've read here about small talk mention the opposite problem: can't make small talk, don't get it, don't see the point, it's just stupid, etc. I'm a bit like that myself.

Conversation, as I understand it, is about taking turns to share some information of mutual interest (maybe one person asks for it or maybe the other just volunteers it) and then comment on what's just been said or ask a further question. So if you're obsessed with anime and someone else was interested in it and asked you questions about it, wouldn't you answer them? I guess they would have to keep the conversation going by asking you more questions, but that's a start. (Many of my conversations are like that, though I'm gradually getting better.)

I think if you just ask questions your just asking questions your not really having a conversation.

It seems to me like you able to have "practical" conversation - to get things done etc - but struggle with conversation for the sake of conversation.

To me conversation for the sake of conversation takes two forms:
a) small talk - where there is no real topic to the conversation, it's just about making contact "hi, how are you?" "the weather's a bit rubbish, isn't it?" etc

b) conversation about a topic of interest to one or more of the participants.

For the record I am mostly OK with practical conversation but my answers to questions in such conversation are short and to the point, and I sometimes struggle to ask the questions needed.

I hate small talk. I understand why people do it, but I don't get it really. Someone asks how I am, I either say "fine" and leave it at that ... end of conversation, or I tell the truth in detail ... which the other person isn't expecting and ...end of conversation.

I struggle with other conversations for conversations sake too - I don't really have much to say about my interests, they are things I do that I don't necessarily want to share with others because I do them "for me". And, I hate to say it because it sounds so ... something ... but to be honest I'm often not really interested in what other people find interesting ... I have no idea how to ask questions and keep a conversation going on something I'm not interested in.

I can do "work talk" and the basic social niceties, but small talk does seem a bit pointless sometimes. I don't really like talking about my interests as it seems a bit too personal. I guess I'm better at the superficial stuff, and not very comfortable with anything more personal. You can learn appropriate responses for the basics, but when conversation goes a bit more in-depth, it's a bit more difficult.

It's always been difficult for me to express my feelings by talking. I do much better in writing. I'm also slow on the uptake in conversation. If someone asks me a question that requires a decision, judgment or calculation, I am very slow in responding - sometimes to the point they forget they asked. I learned, when working at a job, to say let me get back to you on that. Once I'd thought out a reply I could talk about it - or better yet put it in a follow-up email. This is the biggest drawback to friendship, for me. Only a few people in my life have ever gotten close enough that I could have a heart to heart conversation with them.

I find reading forums on which people discuss things can help me hold real conversations about them. I can talk games with people who have played games that I read the GameFAQs forum for, but am otherwise similar to YellowBanana and most of the other participants in this topic.

I can only talk about something I am interested in. I can still answer questions. If it's something boring and they are talking to me about it, I don't really say anything. I find it hard to fake an interest and to even listen to what they say. Even me reading a book or something doesn't give them the hint and it's rude to tell them I am not interested. And they say we can't read social cues? I wonder if it be alright to tell them that I am trying to read here or I am trying to play my game? Maybe I should just stop worrying about being rude and just say it. I am being rude anyway when I am playing my game or reading a book but they are the ones that started talking to me and yapping away about something I don't care about so I don't think I should have to stop what I am doing.

I can talk about anything but just as long as I am into it. I also find I cannot even have a normal conversation without asking any questions and people do say I ask personal questions or that I ask too many questions. Other autistic people don't seem to have an issue with what questions are considered personal because they seem to know what ones are personal so they don't ask them. But I am the opposite. But people that are fine with me, mine don't bother them. But I know I can have a normal conversation because I have had them before. I don't even know what a normal conversation is. I think it just depends on if I am really into it and so is the other person so we are both talking back and forth. I think that is a normal conversation there. But then I sometimes get off topic when something the person said distracted me so I go off about something else or I see something and I start talking about it.

@Ogional - seems like you're describing you're UNABLE to engage in small talk. Answering a question isn't small talk. Small talk is when you meet the postman and he suddenly wants to talk about the weather or politics or going on vacation or some other inconsequential BS you're not interested in. Yeah, I can do "work talk", but the second someone starts talking about their colicky baby or restaurants with the best sushi, I disappear.

This exactly. I'm perfectly fine at making functional conversation at work, and do the obligatory 'good morning', 'thank you', 'how are you' stuff. But when it moves into the territory of informal conversation... I'm usually not up for that.
I gotta say this depends a lot on the crowd I'm in at work. At my previous job, there were a lot of people who would talk about art, or recent developments in the news, or about travels they had made or performances they had seen. This was very interesting to listen to (I didn't participate much, I listened more, as I myself didn't have much to add).
But at my current work, well... most colleagues talk about such mundane things. Sports, the weather, going out, social media... I just find myself unable to connect.

Anyway, ogional, if I could give you one small piece of advice, since you WANT to talk and get to know people; listen a lot at first. It is through listening to other people's conversations that I have a) gathered some knowledge in general and specifically on what people talk about and b) learned some of the 'rules' of having a conversation with someone. It's very much how FMX describes, a proicess of "give and take". You have to get into the rhythm of the conversation, and at first that can be difficult, but practice makes perfect. Few people get it right on their first try.

What you describe when you say "if you just ask questions your just asking questions your not really having a conversation", that's actually very much how I choose to communicate. I mostly ask questions when I talk to anyone. I have, at times, criticised myself for this, saying I feel more like a quizmaster than anything else. But I've come at peace with that, it's just the way I do things.

One last thing: I'm really curious about what a 'talzone' is. I can't seem to find it in my dictionary.

I understand completely where you are coming from, I've got reasonably OK with some small-talk (work, weather), but I can't turn it into a conversation. I also struggle with repeated small-talk with the same people, this is probably a clue that I've simply learned some scripts that don't stand up to repeat listening

The underpants gnome style plan for a converation is:

1. Talk about the weather/politics/smoking.
2. ?
3. Mysteriously arrive at some mutually interesting topic of conversation.

I've never figured out 2 except when talking to other computer geeks at work. Probably easier as we skip straight past steps 1 and 2.

Jason.

No when I'm talking about small talk i'm talking about Hey, whats up? or Whats next? or Yes We're done. I mainly ask questions instead of saying a sentence other than a question. but once someone else keeps talking I can't have a conversation. I can't have a conversation to reply to someone on my side I just listen to them and say ya or just keep listening or give them attitude like what ever in a way to tell them to stop talking. The only way I can come up with something to talk about is if someone asks me a question to give them info or answer but i can't make a conversation out of it or anything else. if someone says hi and i say hi that is about it. I can't have a conversation.

Yeah, it's hard to know when to talk, or what to say in response when someone's talking like that. I find I end up just sitting there not saying anything, or if I'm at work I just start doing my work again which is probably a bit rude, but work's not really the place for in-depth conversations anyway - the clue is in the name "work".

If I do try to join in, I end up interrupting as most people seem to know instinctively when it is their turn to talk but I always seem to get it wrong and think they've stopped talking but they're just pausing for breath or something, or I end up saying something that's completely unrelated to the conversation because that is what I was thinking about at the time. Hey ho, I'll get it one day........maybe

Its not hard to know when to talk. Its that I can't have a conversation there is just nothing to talk about even if i do a million things a day i wouldn't be able to talk about a topic or anything at all. If I watch anime what is there to talk about anime? nothing can't say anything about anime video games etc. now if i play a game I say ya I played a or that game and that is it I can't have a conversation for anything else about it other than I played it. that is what i mean about small talk. then I'm just silent after that and am not able to conversation about it.