Should I tell my friends about my AS?

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I've been recently "unofficially" diagnosed with AS and, after some research, I'm 100% sure that I have it - I've never been more sure of anything in my life.

The only problem is, I don't know whether (or how) to tell my friends. I feel like I should, just so that they're aware of it, but there's a nagging at the back of my mind that says that they're not going to believe me and they're going to shun me or treat me like a complete eejit because of it. I'm just really scared and I don't know what to do or what to say or when do it, or even if I should do it at all.

I would really appreciate some help, or a suggestion of something that I could say, or a way to tell them. I'm just no good. I freeze and stutter and repeat myself and it's so embarrassing. Maybe you could tell me how you told your friends and what happened? I mean, my friends are nice people, but they can be very narrow-minded and judgemental.

Thank you so much. (:

I've been in the same boat as you and can say that the people i still count as really good friends, and see alot, it actually seemed to help them understand me more by telling them.

Although in my case it was someone made a joke about me having AS and from there i just said "i do, so what".A couple of them said it explains a lot about how i am, but it just depends on what your friends are like, if they are good friends to you then they shouldn't treat you any differently.

Its up to you when to bring it up though i can't really suggest much.

AS awareness seems to be much higher in England, as opposed to here in the states. That said, I would suggest you wait a bit, give yourself time to understand what AS means in your own life & mind. That way, you can explain your particulars to your friends & not get labeled w/the ideas someone else has.

For example, do you know if you're a visual or verbal thinker? Or something else? Do you understand & can you express what your relationship w/your emotions & those of others is? How does the social disability play out in your particular case? Do you understand what executive dysfunction is?

Some food for thought:
http://sacramentoasis.com/docs/8-22-03/ ... ficits.pdf

I encourage you to take a little time to get to know yourself well w/this new understanding, before you expose yourself to other's remarks & judgements.

There are some things that should be kept on a need-to-know basis this is one of them, along with:

- Financial info
- Medical info
- Personal ID info
- Personal info

You can still make exceptions if you feel it would be helpful, but other than that, these things should all be on a need-to-know basis. In the case of Autism/Asperger's spectrum disorders, instead of telling your friends you have it, you can tell them, "I wear sunglasses indoors because I am sensitive to bright lights", or "I wear hearing protectors because I am sensitive to loud noises." Just tell your friends about the trait related problems you have, instead of about the whole condition itself. Most people either don't know about spectrum disorders, or have a misinformed idea of what it is about. They are likely to change how they relate to you if you tell them you have Asperger's. That's why it's best not to "come out" to people outside of doctors, therapists, and immediate family. In some cases it may be best to not even tell your family.

Hope I've helped.

Thank you, guys, this has really helped. I think I'll leave it until it comes up, which it is likely not to.

Yeah, from what I've heard things in the US can really get nasty when talking about ASDs or mental health problems. And I thought it was bad in England! (:

In my experience "coming out" with Aspergers, especially with self-diagnosis, can be met with a lot of criticism. I told one of my bffs from childhood, boyfriend, and mom. Each of them didn't want to accept it and accused me indirectly of being a hypochondriac. I dont know if it really benefited me at all but it did feel good to tell someone. My acquaintances and everyone else though I haven't told and don't intend to. There's too much bad stigma/ignorance regarding Aspergers and many people regard it similar to a type of retardation, so it wins you no points to confide about it to just anyone. The only situation in which I would see it beneficial to tell many friends/acquaintances etc would be if your condition is so bad its obvious to all something is really really wrong with you.

Best of luck in whatever you decide.

I haven't told anyone except my immediate family about my AS they didn't really know much about it or believe me at first.

I think it's better just to say "I'm a shy person" or "I get stressed out by X" to friends rather than have to explain what AS is and then they think you have some disorder.

they most likly won't know what AS is so it may just get you bulled for being diffent.

I think it helped my mom because she always knew there was something different about me. As to my friends now. . . I don't know. But Anderson Cooper recently said "I've been reminded recently that the tide of history only changes when people make themselves fully visible." If we keep hiding - they'll just say what they want about aspies, and since we're different, I can gurantee what they say won't be very nice. It's only if we stand up and admit it and try and take control of the discussion, that we can start defining AS on our terms.

If your friends like you just as you are there's no need to tell them. Since they are NT, they won't understand. It's well enough that they accept you now--"as is".