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PastFixations
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28 Jun 2012, 4:16 pm

Is it possible to recognise if a female is an aspie?
I'm just thinking that if it is, I could approach and something may click better.
Possibly this way, it'll help both ways.
Luckily though if I'm not into some of them, it's possible a few lads I know with an ASD will.
Sorry if this sounds kind of weird as it's not supposed to be...
Maybe I'm creepy, Oh well... could be a lot worse than that.


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28 Jun 2012, 5:14 pm

I don't think it sounds creepy, I think it sounds reasonable.

Well, maybe passing her on to your friends is a little creepy... How would you feel if you got passed around? Valued or like a hand-me-down pair of shorts?

But seeking someone w/a similar style of communicating & experiencing the world makes total sense.



PastFixations
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28 Jun 2012, 5:39 pm

DonkeyBuster wrote:
Well, maybe passing her on to your friends is a little creepy... How would you feel if you got passed around? Valued or like a hand-me-down pair of shorts?

Hmmm... I guess that is true.
What about if I personally only wanted to be friends but knew my friends who I don't think have had a relationship (as far as I know) who may be interested?
Even if it's not going to work as a relationship, at least it's made an addition to the circle of friends.


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Nikorvus
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28 Jun 2012, 5:49 pm

DonkeyBuster wrote:
Well, maybe passing her on to your friends is a little creepy... How would you feel if you got passed around? Valued or like a hand-me-down pair of shorts?

I didn't read it that way at all. More of "Eh...not really my type, but maybe I know someone who goes for her type" rather than "uggghhhh...I'm done...next!"



DogsWithoutHorses
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28 Jun 2012, 6:31 pm

I've met guys before who I thought were pretty cool and thought there was friendship potential so we'd exchange numbers and make plans to hang out with friends and lo and behold the friends are guys with social issues the more competent guy was basically acting as a "procurer" for.
Somebody brought snacks, somebody brought booze, and somebody brought me. I'm not a friend, I'm a party supply.


If you're setting people up like on a blind date kinda thing, that's cool and everyone knows what they are getting into. Befriending a girl for her capacity as a potential romantic interest is kinda creepy.


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DonkeyBuster
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28 Jun 2012, 7:08 pm

PastFixations wrote:
DonkeyBuster wrote:
Well, maybe passing her on to your friends is a little creepy... How would you feel if you got passed around? Valued or like a hand-me-down pair of shorts?

Hmmm... I guess that is true.
What about if I personally only wanted to be friends but knew my friends who I don't think have had a relationship (as far as I know) who may be interested?
Even if it's not going to work as a relationship, at least it's made an addition to the circle of friends.


I think trying to meet Aspie women as possible friends or romantic interest is a great idea, but beyond that it starts to get creepy. I agree w/DogsWithoutHorses... a person is not a commodity or thing to be marketed to your other friends just 'cause you have no use for them.

If she meets some of your friends in the course of hanging out & forms friendships that way, it's a little different than setting people up. That's dangerous, dangerous territory. Good chance somebody is going to end up pissed at you.



mds_02
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28 Jun 2012, 7:20 pm

Just say something to her along the lines of "there's this friend of mine. He's single, and I think you might like him. Wanna meet him?"

Make sure she knows why you want her to meet your friends, that way she has the option of saying "no thanks" if she doesn't want to be put in that position.

Introducing people, hoping they'll hit it off romantically, can be a very nice thing to do for someone. But only if you're honest about what you're doing.


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AScomposer13413
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28 Jun 2012, 7:22 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
If you're setting people up like on a blind date kinda thing, that's cool and everyone knows what they are getting into. Befriending a girl for her capacity as a potential romantic interest is kinda creepy.


^ This, and this is extended to people in general.



MXH
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28 Jun 2012, 8:11 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Befriending a girl for her capacity as a potential romantic interest is kinda creepy.

Yet its what most of the women around here give as advice



Nikorvus
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28 Jun 2012, 8:22 pm

DonkeyBuster wrote:
PastFixations wrote:
DonkeyBuster wrote:
Well, maybe passing her on to your friends is a little creepy... How would you feel if you got passed around? Valued or like a hand-me-down pair of shorts?

Hmmm... I guess that is true.
What about if I personally only wanted to be friends but knew my friends who I don't think have had a relationship (as far as I know) who may be interested?
Even if it's not going to work as a relationship, at least it's made an addition to the circle of friends.


I think trying to meet Aspie women as possible friends or romantic interest is a great idea, but beyond that it starts to get creepy. I agree w/DogsWithoutHorses... a person is not a commodity or thing to be marketed to your other friends just 'cause you have no use for them.

If she meets some of your friends in the course of hanging out & forms friendships that way, it's a little different than setting people up. That's dangerous, dangerous territory. Good chance somebody is going to end up pissed at you.


There is a non-creepy middle ground, though.

If you meet a girl, and after getting to know her, find out there's no romantic spark, but she'd be just perfect for your buddy so you set them up to meet, that's not creepy.


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Nikorvus
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28 Jun 2012, 8:25 pm

MXH wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Befriending a girl for her capacity as a potential romantic interest is kinda creepy.

Yet its what most of the women around here give as advice
Truth.


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DogsWithoutHorses
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28 Jun 2012, 9:28 pm

Nikorvus wrote:
DonkeyBuster wrote:
PastFixations wrote:
DonkeyBuster wrote:
Well, maybe passing her on to your friends is a little creepy... How would you feel if you got passed around? Valued or like a hand-me-down pair of shorts?

Hmmm... I guess that is true.
What about if I personally only wanted to be friends but knew my friends who I don't think have had a relationship (as far as I know) who may be interested?
Even if it's not going to work as a relationship, at least it's made an addition to the circle of friends.


I think trying to meet Aspie women as possible friends or romantic interest is a great idea, but beyond that it starts to get creepy. I agree w/DogsWithoutHorses... a person is not a commodity or thing to be marketed to your other friends just 'cause you have no use for them.

If she meets some of your friends in the course of hanging out & forms friendships that way, it's a little different than setting people up. That's dangerous, dangerous territory. Good chance somebody is going to end up pissed at you.


There is a non-creepy middle ground, though.

If you meet a girl, and after getting to know her, find out there's no romantic spark, but she'd be just perfect for your buddy so you set them up to meet, that's not creepy.


So long as you tell her that's what's up, no foul.
What mds_02 said is pretty much spot on.


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DonkeyBuster
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28 Jun 2012, 9:50 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Quote:
There is a non-creepy middle ground, though.

If you meet a girl, and after getting to know her, find out there's no romantic spark, but she'd be just perfect for your buddy so you set them up to meet, that's not creepy.


So long as you tell her that's what's up, no foul.
What mds_02 said is pretty much spot on.


Agreed.



RICKY5
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28 Jun 2012, 10:43 pm

PastFixations wrote:
Is it possible to recognise if a female is an aspie?
I'm just thinking that if it is, I could approach and something may click better.
Possibly this way, it'll help both ways.
Luckily though if I'm not into some of them, it's possible a few lads I know with an ASD will.
Sorry if this sounds kind of weird as it's not supposed to be...
Maybe I'm creepy, Oh well... could be a lot worse than that.


Aspie girls are similar to aspie guys in that they vary widely in terms of function level and fixations. I remember seeing a girl on the subway who I was 99% had Aspergers. She looked like she was in her 20s, wore no makeup, slouchy body posture, but the real giveaway was that she had a CD case with her and a CD player. The CD case was for the soundtrack to the movie Casino. She also seemed really fixated on the CD. She also had an office access badge which indicated a high level of function. All things added up to aspergers.



PastFixations
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29 Jun 2012, 3:16 am

Oh don't get me wrong. I wouldn't befriend a girl and hope for more than that. I'd state if I had feelings during the first time of seeing each other.
That way, it's direct and not confusing to the recieving end. Also I'd have a direct response as opposed to mixed messages.


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www.wrongplanet.net/postp5013377.html&h ... t=#5013377

Sora: "My friends are my power."

Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me."


Nikorvus
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29 Jun 2012, 8:50 am

PastFixations wrote:
Oh don't get me wrong. I wouldn't befriend a girl and hope for more than that. I'd state if I had feelings during the first time of seeing each other.
That way, it's direct and not confusing to the recieving end. Also I'd have a direct response as opposed to mixed messages.
It's also overwhelming and a bit much. Don't go professing undying affection right away.


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AQ: 36

Your Aspie score: 120 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 89 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits