Hard to hear what people are saying over loud music

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On the rare occasions that I find myself at a bar or some other place that plays loud music I'm amazed how people can TALK to each despite it. When people try to talk to me over the music I find it very hard to make out what they're saying, which is very frustrating.

At first I just marvelled at the stupidity of whoever runs the place playing the music loudly, thinking "how is anyone supposed to hear anyone in this place?" but over time I noticed that most people seem to do just fine. So my next thought was: "maybe I'm losing hearing!" I haven't had it tested, but it hasn't been a problem day-to-day and sometimes I've heard soft sounds that others have missed. So I don't think I have "bad hearing" as such - I only seem to have a problem with distinguishing speech over background noise. Then I watched the fascinating Video on autistic perception walking down the street and wondered if this might be AS-related. Now, I have no issues with walking down the street - I'm quite NT in that respect. But I wonder if this is a milder version of the same thing.

What do others think? Is this likely to be AS-related or some unrelated hearing problem?

It's a sensory processing thing related to AS. I have a lot of trouble picking out voices over any background noise. I'm constantly having to have people repeat things that I heard but didn't comprehend over a background noise. I can't even have a conversation over quiet music coming from headphones around my neck. It sucks, because background music can relax me so much. =/

Me too.
The worst for me is not in bars or clubs though, it's at home or in the street when your relative, friend, or partner is in the middle of a conversation about something, then they switch on the vacuum cleaner and then continue to whisper as if nothing has happened.

Or when you're walking on the sidewalk and you walk past road digging drills, hammering away on the road, and the person you're walking with continues to whisper as if nothing has happened. Very annoying.

When I'm in a silent room, I can hear an ant fart in the room next door.

Strangely I don't have so much of a problem with late night bars or clubs with loud music, as I'm more focused on the music as a welcome distraction from the stress of having to follow conversational games (and having to lip-read).

Yeah I've noticed the same thing, once I enter a night club there is little chance of conversation unless someone is shouting down my ear, yet others manage to have lengthy conversations. At work when people whisper or speak quietly across the room so nobody else hears I have to get up and stand in front of them and ask them to repeat or I just won't understand what they're saying. I know my hearing is fine. I think its more the background commotion getting in the way as Rebel_Nowe says.

I have a hard time hearing people over noise, they need to shout and talk over it for me to hear them. I also need to be very close to them and I cover my other ear and hold out my other ear to hear them. It's so annoying. But if the sounds aren't so loud, I can hear the person fine.

There is no point for me to go to social events, because I cannot hear what anyone is saying and get nothing out of them anyway. If eberryone typed to each other on mobile devices, then I could socialize while wearing my earplugs.

So I wonder what it is that they like about the music being so loud then. OK, they can still have conversations over it, but what's the need for it to be so loud?

Would they actually not be able to hear the music as well if it were quieter? As in, their focus is primarily on conversation, so the music has to be louder if the musicians want to be heard at all, else their music would take a back seat to conversation.

Whereas we get distracted by the music, making regular conversation harder with that distraction, would the NTs actually not be able to hear the music if it were at a quieter level?

I thought just this when I realised I had to lipread to understand a conversation, although I had my hearing tested and it's better than normal (measured to negative 10db...which doesn't make sense to my head but oh well...)

For me I gather it's part of an auditory processing issue and that filtering is the problem - my brain just doesn't know what sounds to attend to so it attends to them all! So I just mention to people (pre-loud environments) that I'm a bit hard of hearing and they seem more forgiving than if I say I have auditory processing issues, which tends to do people's head in and make them treat me like glass.

For me any considerable background noise makes it hard to understand people.

Thanks, guys, good to hear there is an explanation. I continue to be surprised by just how much of my experience can be linked back to AS! Yes, I'm "mild" and very high-functioning and all that, but... it's still there.

Yes, I've wondered about that all along. I'm not even talking about live music, I meant loudspeakers - so the volume is very easy to control. Surely if the music was at half the volume everyone could still hear it just fine if they wanted to - but could also talk over it more easily. Maybe I'll ask some NTs about this some time.

btbnnyr, you may just get your wish. With the way people use their mobiles I think we're not far away from people using them to text-chat to people who are right in front of them. As silly as it is, I guess it could have its uses in rare cases!

I also have a very hard time both hearing myself talk and listening to others when the music is loud.

I have the exact same issue. I can't sort out the sound of people talking from background noise.

I've had this happen a couple times with different circumstances and noise environments until I got frustrated and Google searched. It amazed me when it was explained people really can filter this kind of noise.

It seems to be referred to often as The Cocktail Party Effect.

Whenever I'm in a club or bar that plays extremely loud music, it's difficult for me to hear people talking to one another. Thus, I can't engage in a lot of social conversation in such settings. If someone wanted to ask or tell me something in the club, I would bring my ears closer to the person and attempt to hear what he's saying.

I can get like this in noisy restaurants or bars. I'll often have to ask the other person to repeat what they're saying, and I feel like I need to shout my response.

Yup.

If background noise is above a certain (low) level, I won't even try to have a conversation.

I could never understand why anybody saw noisy dances, discos and parties as social events....this nerdy surgeon I once knew summed it up beautifully when he said "they say I'm antisocial for not going, but blaring muzak out at that volume is the most antisocial thing you can do."

On the other hand, at the peak of my "curebie" phase (late 1970s) I managed to hold a conversation with my brother-in-law who I'd accompanied to see a loud rock band in a working men's club. Basically we yelled into each other's ears at close quarters. I never repeated the experience, although at the time I felt OK about it....I'd achieved something.

One social "advantage" that noise gives you is that you have an excuse to get physically closer to people, so it could be of some use for flirting. I suppose the other "advantage" is that you have to use body language, which might be a more efficient way of communicating, particularly for the romantically-inclined, as long as your body language is good.......what a shame I don't speak bodyese very fluently.