For adult aspies

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This is for Aspies who grew up before aspergers was diagnosed, or much of any disability was accomodated.

How was it? Were bullies worse back then? How did you deal with bullying/ unhelpful teachers? What about your parents?

Im just fascinated by this topic..

Interesting topic. For myself and the three other adult Aspies I know, we've adapted. Bullies were dealt with because I knew I was in the right, I didn't let people pick on me. So I developed a very tough persona. Anyway, I have more to say on this but for now, I'll add that I "act" better than my fellow young Aspies (teenagers).

I think that people diagnosed in their childhood probably feel more limited than us? I don't know what it is like growing up knowing what made you different had a name and was a disability.

So in a sense, it was more confusing to be bullied as a child because I couldn't figure out how to make it stop. Maybe kids these days are more educated and tolerant but I don't know.

I'll have more to add later as others respond.

I'm not sure if bullies where worse but I got in a lot of fights. I'm not sure that's what you'd call dealing with bullies, mostly it just meant I got beat up a lot because there where always a bunch of them.

I only had two teachers that where helpful. The rest could care less what happened to me and that's pretty much how I felt about them. Mostly they just thought I was stupid, that probably did the most damage to who I was because I believed them. Took a lot of years for me to realize I wasn't.

My parents cared but didn't know how to handle me. We fought a lot.

Really I didn't deal with any of it until years later so wouldn't take anything I said as advice.

You know, I used to be angry when I thought back to those days and how I was treated. Now I like to think that I didn't know how to deal with them and they didn't know how to deal with me and it was all just because we couldn't understand each other. That's probably wishful thinking but it makes me feel better.

Lots and lots of bullying by "peers" over here.

I didn't know how to respond appropriately via words, so at first I'd let it fester inside until I eventually blew up (a physical response); said blowing up got me in trouble each time by teachers as they saw me as the aggressor, rather than a response to the the constant verbal abuse I had to suffer. Some times I was attacked physically (bats and thrown rocks), but I'd defend myself, so it'd go back to verbal as usual. I was also bullied by teachers due to being slow to respond verbally and failing grades.

I couldn't speak about it to my parents or teachers; I couldn't really speak about anything, really.

In the end, I took lots and lots of days off and I'd skip classes and find someplace peaceful to rest/hide for the day.

I was bullied mercilessly at primary school, worst was at the age of 10 we moved and I went to another primary school where the bulling became even worse I would on occasion find myself being mobbed by almost the wholes school not just the class age I attended. Most of those years were so horrid I would not inflict them on the most evil person on the planet.
Throuout the later years of my first school (about 8 to 10 yo) I did get some respite on Wednesday morning and Thursday afternoon when I attended a special unit I have no idea if or what sort of diagnosis had been made for me but the morning was playing with other children with a lot of toys, it was well supervised and I can remember helping wash up after break because it had been a bad day and I did not want to play with the others but most of the time I enjoyed it the afternoons I had help with my reading and writing. at the second primary school I had no help and I can honestly say I hated every moment of that year
In 1968 instead of going to the local comprehensive (which would have been a disaster for me) I was sent to a special school for 'Maladjusted and Emotionally Disturbed Boys' The Headmaster there was German and had almost certainly heard of Hans Asperger if not he may even have met him. We were a mixed bag at that school all sorts of misfits that had been spat out of the conventional education system. I was still bullied to hell and back but it was a much smaller school than others (about 50 boys, 10 staff 5 teachers) I suppose is was at about the age of 14 the bullying became occasional rather than constant I think that had most to do with the fact that at about 14 I was much bigger than I had been when I started age 11.

I had my "Leave Me Alone" special education plan in grade school and my "Executive Function Junction" special education plan in junior high, both of which helped me when I needed help.

You would be shocked and probably call me a liar if you met me today now given my imposing 6"6' frame but oh boy was I ever bullied, especially in Junior High. I was left alone in Elementary school because I had a friend who was big and tough but he moved when I went to Junior High. In the spirit of the family nature of this forum I can't repeat what was done to me but it included two concussions, vandalism and destruction of anything of value, humiliations in front of the whole school and teachers who turned a blind eye because they feared for their jobs (the one who did stand up for me was not re-offered a job because she stepped on a bully's parent's toe) In short, it made me a very angry and bitter person for many years because literally nobody believed me. For example, when I went to school covered from head to toe in bruises, a social worker visited my mother and after quickly realizing I came from a good home, had me checked out for leukemia. Nobody could accept what I was telling them because it seemed impossible that 50% of the class (about 16-18 kids) were directly involved and about 10 were physical. I even gave names but since many of them were honor roll students, I wasn't believed. After all, I was the tallest in the class: how could I be bullied?

It wasn't the "bad" bullies I had to worry about but so called "friends" who would turn on you in a heartbeat. At least I knew the worst bullies were sociopaths and was able to predict their behavior. As for the others I was so naive I really thought they were my friends but instead they just knew how to put on an act in front of authority figures. So yes bullying in school is far from a recent phenomenon. In fact, things have improved substantially since I left school. Still sucks, but steps are finally being made to combat bullying and people are finally starting to believe that school can be hell on Earth for some.

Growing up I never knew what was wrong with me except that I was quiet and shy and bullied a lot and told how weird I was. With all the people I had to see growing up (counselors/therapists/psychologists /psychiatrists/probation officers) and all the special classes and schools I had to go to as a kid and even had to do a 30 day evaluation in a mental hospital I wonder how I never was diagnosed with anything. If they did no one ever told me or my mother.

The school didn't do anything about the bullying and I even had a school counselor tell me it was my own fault.

I dealt with the bullying by skipping as much school as possible and quitting when I turned 16. I'm still not over it.

Sorry to hear about all this bullying.

I think though that kids are more tolerant and much more educated/ not mean now. At least compared to when my parents were kids (late 60s- 70s)

Undxed.

It didnt get real bad for me until junior high. In elementary I wasn't picked on so much, or if I was I didn't notice. The kids were actually relatively willing to put up with my idiosyncracies, that wasn't what got me picked on! It was my know it all attitude, the fact that I was a country bumkin, my lack of tact (ok this is probably related to the AS), good grades, lack of religious belief, my belief in evolution, and eventually my weight.

They were completely willing to ignore my stack of chewed bics and plastic utensils, the insessent humming (all the time especially while eating), the spinning of coins during study hall, standing on one foot all the time, sitting cross legged no matter what, obsession with certain topics... none of that got me picked on. Never mentioned. They also put up with the introversion etc... ultimately my weight got me picked on the most. That is the one that would get me beat up every couple of months. At least I assumed so because it usually what they were taunting me about. While, you know, cramming me into the tuba locker in the band room.

I think I had a lot of luck. My brother, older than me, was one of the bad guys. He took care of me a lot, so nobody dared to bully me in any sense. And I had two incredible NT friends, still they are, they just accept me and I could learn how to behave in any situation.

By other side all it's about the expectations. If people don't know that maybe you have a problem they expect you behave as any other guy. I still remember the teacher that when I was like 10 years old decides that anyone in class should go to the board and "do something funny". And everybody did, but I just stood motionless, unable to do anything, watching the floor. So I remember those days (and beyond) as a concatenation of failures. But at the same time kinda pushed me a lot.

Anyway, my point is that maybe I've learnt how to fit, just a bit. But sure it should be possible to learn these things without feel all the time that you are swimming in a pool plenty of frustration.

I never got bullied at school. I'm quite stocky in build, along with kids thinking I was weird, I later found out they were scared of me.
My stepfather was a nasty piece of work, so I guess that helped to toughen me up...