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OMG I discovered the cause of autism and a cure.

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aspie48
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14 Jul 2012, 8:43 pm

Studies have shown there is a link between paper cuts and autism. Bleach used to make paper combined with the effect of bleeding from paper cuts can kill brain cells. Brain cells die when there is less blood in the body. Even a small cut can cause damage, especially to newborn babies and pregnant mothers. Paper is processed with mercury and other toxins, cuts allow these toxins to enter the bloodstream.

The cure to this problem is simple. A home installed centrifuge safely spins the autistic child at high speeds. This motion stimulates damaged brain cells allowing them to regrow. Industrial strength centrifuges can be installed in home at a reasonable price of $85,000.



VIDEODROME
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14 Jul 2012, 8:48 pm

Just put them in the washer on spin cycle.



Ashuahhe
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14 Jul 2012, 8:49 pm

Nothing says scientific like OMG



cathylynn
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14 Jul 2012, 8:50 pm

ha ha



theWanderer
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14 Jul 2012, 9:33 pm

:lol: Quick! Tell Jenny McCarthy!


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Radiofixr
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14 Jul 2012, 9:45 pm

theWanderer wrote:
:lol: Quick! Tell Jenny McCarthy!

Yes and she will write 15 more books on the subject.


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questor
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14 Jul 2012, 10:19 pm

I agree with Videorome. Save the $85,000. Put them in the washer on the spin cycle! :lol:



TheSunAlsoRises
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15 Jul 2012, 3:34 am

aspie48 wrote:
Studies have shown there is a link between paper cuts and autism. Bleach used to make paper combined with the effect of bleeding from paper cuts can kill brain cells. Brain cells die when there is less blood in the body. Even a small cut can cause damage, especially to newborn babies and pregnant mothers. Paper is processed with mercury and other toxins, cuts allow these toxins to enter the bloodstream.

The cure to this problem is simple. A home installed centrifuge safely spins the autistic child at high speeds. This motion stimulates damaged brain cells allowing them to regrow. Industrial strength centrifuges can be installed in home at a reasonable price of $85,000.


The sad thing about IT, is THAT your post, is just as believable as the current available research on Autism.

I'm sure quite a few lurkers flocked to this thread.


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vermontsavant
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15 Jul 2012, 4:24 am

aspie48 wrote:
Studies have shown there is a link between paper cuts and autism. Bleach used to make paper combined with the effect of bleeding from paper cuts can kill brain cells. Brain cells die when there is less blood in the body. Even a small cut can cause damage, especially to newborn babies and pregnant mothers. Paper is processed with mercury and other toxins, cuts allow these toxins to enter the bloodstream.

The cure to this problem is simple. A home installed centrifuge safely spins the autistic child at high speeds. This motion stimulates damaged brain cells allowing them to regrow. Industrial strength centrifuges can be installed in home at a reasonable price of $85,000.
good one,I like that


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aspie48
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15 Jul 2012, 8:58 am

Radiofixr wrote:
theWanderer wrote:
:lol: Quick! Tell Jenny McCarthy!

Yes and she will write 15 more books on the subject.

good idea. in all seriousness i should try just for kicks and see what happens.



fubar
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15 Jul 2012, 7:23 pm

I'm not sure if this is serious or not, but FYI: Brain cells don't regrow as far as I know.

edited for grammar


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aspie48
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15 Jul 2012, 7:44 pm

fubar wrote:
I'm not sure if this is serious or not, but FYI: Brain cells don't regrow as far as I know.

edited for grammar
in all seriousness they do but scar tissue forms over, which slows signals down. Thats why people who do themselves brain damage like drug addicts think slowly.



Feralucce
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10 Aug 2012, 12:05 am

aspie48 wrote:
fubar wrote:
I'm not sure if this is serious or not, but FYI: Brain cells don't regrow as far as I know.

edited for grammar
in all seriousness they do but scar tissue forms over, which slows signals down. Thats why people who do themselves brain damage like drug addicts think slowly.


Brain cells do grow throughout your life... cells are constantly regenerating and replacing those at the ends of their life. It is estimated that we recycle (as in swap out) all of our physical mass every 5-7 years. When you cause damage to the structure of the brain, or lose a section of cells due to chemical abuse or stroke... That section does not come back. Our brains generate new cells at a constant rate, to replace those lost naturally.

That being said... Not all drug use kills brain cells or creates scar tissue in the brain.... logically, then, your statement about it being the cause of cognitive impairment is false... It may be true in some cases, but a sweeping generalization like that is always inaccurate.


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Ashuahhe
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10 Aug 2012, 6:15 am

aspie48, where did you source your information? Was it from a new age magazine?



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10 Aug 2012, 8:41 am

Ashuahhe wrote:
aspie48, where did you source your information? Was it from a new age magazine?


Probably the magazine "centrifuge monthly".



Radiofixr
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10 Aug 2012, 9:04 am

TallyMan wrote:
Ashuahhe wrote:
aspie48, where did you source your information? Was it from a new age magazine?


Probably the magazine "centrifuge monthly".


No it was "Spin" magazine.


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