What to make of the following conversation

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AudaciousLarue
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16 Jul 2012, 5:06 am

Firstly, I'd just like to say that I'm eighteen and, maybe due to my autism, I can't seem to figure out this one recent conversation I had with a girl I just met(I'm a guy).

She introduced herself, as did I, and then suddenly she compliments me. :?

I kept my cool, and after a bit she offers to go get me some candy, I was barely able to reply before she decides to do just that and bring it back to me. I thanked her, but it just came out of the blue and seemed a bit too friendly.

And is this just me, or why do some girls I talk to whom i just met constantly smile and/or laugh at everything I say, when half the time I'm not even joking? This particular girl seemed to be acting way too hard to be nice also, and seemed nervous.

Is it just being polite to smile and laugh, which I would assume so. What of the sudden compliment?



edgewaters
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16 Jul 2012, 5:43 am

I wouldn't say polite exactly, that implies a deliberate program of behaviour, my experience is that many women (speaking here in general terms, about the broader population) simply enjoy interaction. In other words, it's not so much an act as that they just enjoy interaction and attention and it makes them genuinely happy (which I think is why they smile and laugh so much ... it is not so much what you say, but that you're interacting with them and they enjoy it, so they smile and laugh). This does not mean they aren't nervous sometimes.

They use compliments to make people feel good so they won't be as shy, so they will interact more freely.



humanoid1point0
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16 Jul 2012, 5:50 am

Offering to get candy by itself seems harmless. Without knowing the social setting or the remainder of the conversation or even how long you were interacting makes it difficult to assess the situation.

For what it's worth, people think I'm always being sarcastic or joking when half the time I'm taking things too literally and just trying to understand what they are saying. So long as you don't feel uncomfortable about it I would just smile and laugh as well.



AudaciousLarue
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16 Jul 2012, 6:29 am

I felt a little awkward because of how overly-friendly she was acting, as almost every word from my mouth warranted a smile or a laugh.

I felt nervous when she placed the candy directly in the palm of my hand, while continuing to smile at me.

As for the compliment, she said that my name was nice.

When I was about to leave to go home, she cornered me by planting herself firmly in front of me as I turned around and she offered to shake my hand(heck, I swear that she was waiting for me to turn around, as she was more or less ready to shake my hand just as I turned around)... :?

I accepted to be polite and took my leave.

Was she flirting, because it escapes me if she was. What do anyone else think?

I mean, the way she said "bye," among other things, tended to be long and drawn out, and spoken "innocently."



singularity
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16 Jul 2012, 6:56 am

Brought you candy and laughed at everything you said? She likes you!



AudaciousLarue
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16 Jul 2012, 7:10 am

singularity wrote:
Brought you candy and laughed at everything you said? She likes you!


That would make since if I had known her prior to the conversation.

Is it even possible for someone you don't know very well to "like" you? Is there something I'm not understanding here?

I think it's more complex then that she liked me; It's been said that when you first meet someone, they are only physically attracted to you-it isn't until later that they decide that they like you(correct me if I'm wrong).

Again-I don't know her. I just met her. :?



singularity
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16 Jul 2012, 7:34 am

Okay, so it sounds as though she's attracted to you and would like to get to know you better. Where did you meet her? Were you both attending an event that would make her believe your interests would be similar to hers?



thewhitrbbit
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16 Jul 2012, 8:31 am

Did she ever get drugged by a foreigner? Or have a friend who did?

Not saying it's right, but if something happens to us or someone we care about, it's very easy to make broad generalizations like that out of anger.



AudaciousLarue
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16 Jul 2012, 8:31 am

singularity wrote:
Okay, so it sounds as though she's attracted to you and would like to get to know you better. Where did you meet her? Were you both attending an event that would make her believe your interests would be similar to hers?


It's a church social event.

Does anyone have any advice for next time I see her?

My autism makes social interaction surprisingly hard-a few years ago socializing was tough. I've messed up before and had a few (bad) conversations before with girls due to my own nervousness/inability to socialize "correctly."

Fortunately, I managed to keep my cool throughout the conversation and come off as confident.

Quote:
Did she ever get drugged by a foreigner? Or have a friend who did?

Not saying it's right, but if something happens to us or someone we care about, it's very easy to make broad generalizations like that out of anger.


Wrong thread. :)