"You always think you're right..."

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Does anyone else get this line a lot? I can admittedly be stubborn, but apparently it's bad enough to ruin any progress I've made with a girl. My friends told me that it was the girl's fault and just to keep looking, but I don't think it's a coincidence I get this response all the time from different people. My guess is I come off as extremely arrogant even though I am taking the other person's feelings into account. Does anyone else deal with this?

You kept meeting the bad apples during the process, nothing to worry about.

Your friends are right.

I used to. Don't be afraid to have a different opinion or account of events from someone, though.

You are just having doubts about yourself and making yourself feel like it is always your fault. It's not always your fault. Sure there might be something that others can't handle, but if they could not handle you to begin with, did they really deserve you?

They are just upset.

Next time wear a rape whistle and if they say that, blow it and yell "rape!"

That will teach them a lesson not to mess with you!

I get this line once in a while, but usually when I do I actually am right, so whoever said it can get stuffed.

Yes. I've received this criticism and I've leveled it at others

what it basically boils down to is not that they're upset you have your own opinion, but they're upset at the way you hold onto and defend that opinion and often times, making the other person feel dismissed off hand.

It's a good trait to know how to pick your battles.

It is, and aspies are usually the most challenged at it.

Opinions are only that, but facts are concrete. If someone challenges me on something I know is accurate, I'll defend it.
(I've learned to be less arrogant or stubborn about it though... and that opinions are not facts and can be accepted or ignored at will.)

Most people generally believe they're right, it's why they think what they think. I believe I'm right about generally everything I believe, but am cognizant of how very wrong I could be. That says nothing, however, to my tenacity in defending my position, which is what I think normal people are unaccustomed to. Normal people seem to try to achieve or at least pretend there is consensus amongst everyone about everything.

Last edited by Shau on 26 Jul 2012, 4:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have gotten it in the past. I can't remember the last time I have gotten it. My husband has told me I think I am always right but I am not and that he lets me be right. He has also said I am not always right.

I am not sure why I get this. I only argue if someone gets something wrong or a fact wrong. I also like to point out things people don't know about so they are less ignorant. I am not going to argue over something I don't have much knowledge about. I just assume I am wrong if someone corrects me. I also know having an experience with something doesn't mean you know all about it. Like if you had a bad experience with a drug addict, it doesn't mean all of them are like that so your experience doesn't make it a fact about what they are all like. It's only a fact about what your experience was with one of them. However, if anyone were to say, "Oh drugs addicts don't steal things from other people, that is just a stereotype" you bet I would say about my ex doing it who was a drug addict so they would know some drug addicts are that bad and that stereotype is true for some of them. My ex was not a drug addict, that was just a hypothetical example about how my arguments work.

Yeah, I hear that a lot. For some reason if I state an opinion, people tend to get defensive and start telling me that that's just my opinion and I might not be right, which is fairly patronizing. Yet they go on to state their own opinions freely

People also seem to assume I'm being argumentative when I was actually trying to be helpful by clarifying information or answering a question. I don't know if it's something in my voice or demeanor that makes people think I'm being a know-it-all, or just that I don't understand what it is they want to hear.

I think I'm going to get one of those tiny tape recorders and record a disclaimer stating that I recognize that anything I say is purely my own opinion and I equally respect and value the opinions of others, which I can then play back before I open my mouth.

Same here especially with my parents but I've had that with other people I've known too. Some of it is because some assume I don't know about things that I actually do & I'm not great at explaining myself sometimes. I try to reexplain because I'm very analytical & I'm OCDish about things including misunderstandings & it gets misinterpreted as me being argumentative & me thinking I'm right about something I don't know about.

I always get this. People always think I'm trying to argue or having a go, when I'm not. I hate it when they start huffing and puffing as though I'm a really annoying person who complains all the time, when I'm not even complaining at all. Even more annoying is when they say "nothing" after I asked them what they're puffing about so violently.

Hmm, I'm normally the one saying "why do you always think you're right?" when another person fails to understand what I meant or why I behaved that way and they continue to cling onto their own theories about me and insist they know exactly what's in my head. Ugh, I hate it so much. I say it to my mum all the time. The injustice of it really upsets me. It;s so unfair. Sometimes I wish people could just see straight into my mind. So maybe the whole thing is a communication/understanding error.

But it also happens other times too. One time my mum wanted me to help her create a facebook and she did it with me standing behind her, then she started adding recommended friends right in front of my face, before I told her to stop adding just anyone. A week later she asked me why she was getting facebook email notifications from certain people and I told her she added them as a friend. She absolutely refused to admit that she added these people unintentionally and it turned into a big argument of "no I didn't" and "yes you did" before I eventually gave up. I'm really terrible at explaining myself. I can't seem to get through to anyone, even though I over-explain. Don't get me wrong, I love my mum but we just have a lot of communication errors.

Look, let's face it- when you keep hearing the same complaint from people around you- esp friends you are a fool to not listen. My rule is that if I hear something like that from three friends- it's definitely an issue.

the flip side of this is this:

I've had certain friends (no longer friends as you'll see...) who seemed to love to criticize me. At first I would get all upset, then after a while I was like, "uh, Rebecca, once again YOU are the ONLY one who says that about me- therefore it actually says more about YOU than it does about ME...

That never shut her up so I finally had to end that relationship. I think the lesson for me was that I didn't have to accept a constant stream of criticism to have a friend. She was equally harsh on her string of boyfriends/husbands as well.

So that's why i go by the three friends rule. One- its just that person. Two- COULD be coincidence, THREE c'mon, face reality!

Last edited by sweetcakes on 28 Jul 2012, 12:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's cause I'm always right, beyatch.