Do people reject or downplay your diagnosis?

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After decades of struggling with life, I was finally diagnosed PDD-NOS. I was supremely happy to find out that my issues are explainable, and I'm finding out more each day.

In the interest of openness and honesty, I decided to tell people about it. It seems it kind of backfired, though. Some of my friends and family are acting like it is not really a problem--like I'm being a hypochondriac or I'm being goofy or eccentric or who knows what. Some of them are acting like I just told them I have a day to live or like I'm a two year old.

I'm starting to get angry with them because these are people I care about and love, but they aren't being good friends or loved ones right now. I feel like some people think this is something you catch or something that creeps up on you like Irritable Bowel Syndrome or asthma. Even my best friend says, "Well, if you do have it..." after reading material I give her about it, like she doesn't believe what I'm telling her. That really hurts.

Part of me thinks I'm being impatient and I should give them time, but another part of me says they are being biased pigheaded bigots. Instead of doubting me and not having my back, why can't they show interest and/or concern by listening to me and researching about it themselves? (Or maybe even be impressed with my tenacity to have coped this long without relief?!?)

I'm thinking of writing a letter explaining what really goes on with me on a daily basis--talking doesn't seem to be getting through. Then again, I'm thinking of firing everybody and moving somewhere over the rainbow. Is there a place called Aspieland?

Aspieland doesn't exist, hence this forum is called WRONG planet...

OT: I used a letter, one page long, and handed that out after explaining verbally.
It explained MY specific needs, autism etc...

Rejected, downplayed, outright ridiculed, even by immediate family members--I've been there and gotten my parking stub validated.

Some people's kids. [Sighs wearily.] It's enough to make you want to sell the farm.

I've never really told anyone about my AS, which I can get away with because I can hide it enough to pass off as a ''normal'' person. I think my anxiety shows a bit more, and also my shyness, but that still doesn't get people suspecting me to have AS, I've just had a few people say, ''you are a quiet person'' and/or, ''you are very nervous/anxious'', but nobody really has a problem with that so I'm happy with just leaving it at that. Also any odd things I do say or do are usually just blamed on my anxiety or shyness (according to other people) so nobody suspects the actual AS, which is a good thing.

I must admit, I've never tried telling anyone I have AS. I don't even like verbalising the word, and I haven't even said the word since I was about 10 or younger. I've always been rather ashamed of it, and I don't really want to tell all my friends my shame, and lucky for me I can get away with it. I'm always afraid to tell anyone about it though, in case it backfires, or I might feel embarrassed or even they might feel embarrassed. I know people don't seem to understand the condition, they only seem to understand what autism is (just about) but then they see Autism as someone who is severely disabled and can't speak. They don't seem to understand or even realise that there are milder forms of Autism. The only NTs who would understand that are those who have a relative or close friend with milder forms or Autism what they know about. But even then I'd still rather keep quiet about it.

I can't really offer any advice or suggestions, but I just thought I'd write up on how I feel about it too. I'm good at opening up about my thoughts and feelings to almost anyone, even if it's to do with something I'm cross or anxious about, but I still don't like to bring up the AS. The only people I do bring that up in front of is my mum and her two sisters because I know they love me and won't tell anyone else or make me feel embarrassed or ashamed about it.

I've had a few people (including my own mother) tell me it's not that bad and act as though they know more than me.

They know nothing.

I'm self-diagnosed and most of the people I know who also know what autism really is and/or know other autistic/Asperger's diagnosed people agree with me that I am likely on the spectrum. A few don't, but they also say I should get professional help for my problems and seek a real diagnosis of AS rather than trying to "guess".

While not "officially" diagnosed, some like to either say that EVERYONE has Aspergers to some degree or that I'm just a little shy. I don't bother talking about it because few seem to understands what Autism/AS is anyway and have a ridiculous stereotype based off movies.

Remember that scene in Carrie where her mother yells, "They're gonna laugh at you!" Well, same thing.

Can't say that they have.

(Which is probably a "bad" thing.)

Based on the reactions from people I got when I "came out" as schizoid, I shall not be doing the same thing with my latest diagnosis.

It's not even that I didn't fulfill the criteria. It's just that it's was too creepy of an idea to believe. How can I have problems with empathy? Only monsters lack empathy. How could I possibly not want to be a part of the family? Wouldn't that mean that I don't love anyone? How could I call myself a schizoid when schizoids are clearly evil people?

I don't think a diagnosis of autism will garner the same reaction. It will be more like, "Oh, lord. Here she comes again with ANOTHER crazy disorder. When will it ever end!" I don't feel like arguing or providing assurances or even explaining. Maybe I will confide with one other person when I get more comfortable with myself, but not now.

I generally don't tell people about AS because most people only know the stereotypes and not the facts. You can't expect anyone you tell to do the kind of hyper-focused research that many of us here on WP do. In fact they are more likely to read some garbage on a blog they googled that real research. I was diagnosed at 39 and my mother and sister accepted it immediately. I think my mother was more relieved with my DX than I was. But my behavior has been so out of the ordinary, especially when I was a child/teen, that they always knew there was something different about me. It's just that when I was younger AS didn't exist officially and I don't have the traits for a dx of classic autism. I asked my mother to make an appointment with my therapist so he could explain AS to her. It all made sense to her. My sister is very NT and very smart so when I explained it to her she immediately saw it in me and accepted it. But I have to say these are people that have known me for almost 40 years.

The strange thing is that my father is the only one that kind of brushes it off and downplays it. Strange because he has AS. I'm not a doctor but when you know someone for 4 decades you have a pretty good understanding about their behaviors and I can say with 100% confidence he has AS.

Most people I encounter only know about profound autism, so they have serious trouble accepting that I have I mild form of it. Then there are those who know one person with AS (usually a young boy), and since my behavior (as a 34 year old woman) doesn't resemble said boy's behavior, they discount it as if they were experts or something... somebody explain to me how comparing the behavior of a young boy with that of a 34 year old woman makes since in ANY context!! ! Never mind that I'm a confirmed hermit, who has never been able to maintain friendships, who paces, rocks, hand flaps, face rubs, finger flicks,has massive sensory sensitivities, piss poor coordination, can't hold down a job, and reads like her life depends on it-- mostly about ancient Rome and criminology-- never mind all of that, I don't act like the one young boy with AS so they can't accept it. Sorry, if you can't tell, this is a real sore spot for me. Oh, let's just add to that all the people who think AS is no big deal, even if they accept that I have it, and therefore think I should be able to do just freaking fine because, since it's mild (and therefore insignificant in their minds), it either shouldn't hamper my ability to succeed in the world (since it just means I'm smart and a little awkward), or that since I know the problem I should just be able to "stop acting that way." Wow. Didn't realize I had such issues concerning this topic (at least as far as intensity) until I started typing this. Sorry for the rant.

no offense, but what could you possibly gain from telling people that you suffer from a mental disorder? unless you were trying to get welfare or something

You could try to get them to empathize with your issues and give you a little extra slack when you make mistakes. You could also feel vindicated if you are self diagnosed and those around you who know you the best agree with your self-assessment.

I'm in the same sort of situation, and I've gotten a similar response from people who know me well. The reaction is often along the lines of, "You've always seemed a little different," or "that makes sense." Before I learned more about AS, my boss had told me that a coworker had wondered if I was a little autistic. I spoke with a therapist about this, and although I didn't pursue a formal diagnosis, she told me that I seem to "tend toward" having AS. I'm not really confident enough in self-diagnosing, though.

Yup. Because obviously, you cannot be autistic if you can talk. Autistic people are all totally incapable of communication or taking care of themselves, and they are all obviously disabled and can't do anything worthwhile, ever. Autistic people are walking tragedies. Because I am not, I cannot be autistic.



Yes, I've really had somebody use that on me.