"Pack mentality", and why it's not a good thing.

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May as well tell you a little about my life and why I don't like the "pack" mentality.

I have had a group of so called "friends", who I hung out with in school, but it turned out to be a mentally manipulating course of destruction.

When someone fell out with someone over something trivial, the rest of the people would do the same...and I never understood why. Even NTs (reasonable ones), don't do this when two people fall out.

Anyway, it happened to me once because "I wasn't hanging around with them", when I had my school duties to fulfil...it ended up with them trying to make me not talk to my fellow helper of the school any more (I think she knew as she was perfectly fine with it).

It came to the point where I asked "permission" to do my own thing in this group...that is how messed up the pack mentality was.

Anyway, one of them ended up expelled because he brought a knife in school, and we all just drifted apart (which was a good thing as they all weren't bad people, but we found other people we connected with since that happened.)

So the pack mentality was gone, and we even made enemies of each other (different personalities, some of them being total idiots etc), but since then I have been wary of large groups of people for that very reason.

Has anyone had a bad experience with the pack mentality? I don't think it's always an NT thing as the one I experienced was people who had other problems to socialise (they weren't autistic as they didn't show any symptoms bar the lack of knowing how to make friends the normal way).

I've seen lots of groups of friends drift apart, some members even hating each other

It is very common

I always use to pride myself on maintaining good terms with others, and staying friends with everyone.... as time went on I got sick and tired of hearing them all back stab each other constantly, the next day smiling sycophantically to each other face, then back biting again when they left

I caused me great concern that 'my friends' were such shallow superficial low quality friends. I eventually became more of a loner thru my 30's

It is very common in NZ, we have high suicide, high cancer rates, many other social problems.....

Often I'm glad to be different to others

This is exactly the reason why I don't have many friends, not because I can't maintain friendships, but because I don't want them. I find it such hard work and so draining, and I get nothing enjoyable out of it. I like having a friend, and it being just me and them, but I'm just not interested in making friends with people they know.

Also this was just a kind of way of life in my family. Often, usually my Mother or my Dad would make a joke, and everyone would gang up on one person, and attack them (verbally). I can't count how many times one of us would run off crying, it's difficult when you have friends like that, but when your family's like that too it's unbearable. Probably why I ended up self-harming and overdosing when I was 15, I just couldn't handle it. I did think everyone was like this though until I met my husband. If I'd known it didn't always have to be that way I probably wouldn't have got so bad.

A big group/tribe, is a strong group/tribe
Safety in numbers
Caesars ugly mob
Majority rule
A seething pool


These pack dynamics are a behaviour and genetic expression of tribalism. As man evolves they may be replaced by some newer adaptation