Genderissues (involve "some sexual stuff")

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I am a 17 years old guy with aspergers that suspect I might be TS.
I have though more or less about it since I was about 12-13 since my brother had some schoolending and they crossdressed and I remember I was very jealous.

I hate the fact that I have a penis and testicles since I think they are just uncomfortable and are in the way. If I am honest I rather have them removed.

I n the nights I often dream about turning into a woman (and even do it when I lucid-dreams) and dressing up in woman clothes and trying out makeup and such. This happens almost everynight and always involve some type of crossdressing.
I also suffer from autogynephilia and can only fap when I imagine I am another gender.
Pornographics don't turn me on "that way", except they make my organs "awake" and I just feel it weird about watching pornographic movies. I just find it gross to see a man f*****g another woman. I am also jealous that girls get periods and it makes me pretty down that I will never be able to experience it, it is weird.

The parts of autogynephilia I can relate fully to is:


Transvestic autogynephilia: arousal to the act or fantasy of wearing women's clothing
Behavioral autogynephilia: arousal to the act or fantasy of doing something regarded as feminine
Physiologic autogynephilia: arousal to fantasies of female-specific body functions
Anatomic autogynephilia: arousal to the fantasy of having a woman's body, or parts of one.
Which is basically all parts :/
Can someone relate?


Forgot to add: I really wish I could wear a dress out and fill it out aswell.

Last edited by Confuseness on 06 Aug 2012, 12:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Periods suck. There is nothing enjoyable about them, AT ALL. x) If anything, be glad you at least don't have to experience that.

Yeah :p I heard that they suck..
I still cannot force my mind to feel different thought :p life is pretty strange.

They aren't that bad if you never had cramps and you had a very light flow.



I'm transgender (female to male), but I don't think how you get off in sexual fantasies necessarily means you are transsexual or transgender.

Do you identify as male? As in, if someone calls you "he", you feel normal to indifferent. Or do you not like it? If you feel normal, you are probably a crossdresser. There is NOTHING abnormal about it, and this has happened throughout human history in every known civilization and tribe.

A temporary solution to make you more comfortable in life is to tuck:

http://wiki.susans.org/index.php/TuckingGuide to Tucking

Don't feel bad about tucking. Many people also do this. I know many straight men who tuck in the workplace to be professional; so they won't have a visible erection.

I don't feel identify as any gender at all I guess. If I identify as something it is a male, since I got the bodyparts. But I don't feel like anything. Id rather skip being a guy too be honest.

Will read a lil about tucking now, thanks

It seems to me that the fact that you are asking these questions seems to suggest that you are not yet fully comfortable with the contradictory signals that your brain and your body are creating.

Your body is, I gather, unambiguously male, and you are physically capable of achieving erection and orgasm (albeit with the limitations that you have set out.) Your brain, on the other hand, is working in a different framework.

It seems to me, then, that you need to start looking for the extent of your autogynephilia. If this is rooted in an understanding that your male body is inconsistent with your self identity, then that indicates strongly that you may be transgendered. On the other hand, if it is rooted in an affinity for female social sex roles, then you may be consistently gendered.

At this stage I suspect that you need more time to explore these issues, and it might be valuable to have some professional help from a counsellor who is familiar with gender issues to help put this into some rational context for you.

+1 for visagrunt's suggestion that you get professional help.
If you've never had counseling before, it could really help you figure out what's going on; there could be some factors that hadn't crossed your mind yet that are influencing your conclusions.
The sooner you get this figured out, the sooner the cognitive dissonance goes away and the sooner gender stops bothering you.

I think I replied to this on 420chan.

I also was autogynephilic growing up, unable to "get off" to anything but thoughts if myself as a woman. That eventually became full gender dysphoria for me, and now I cry every day because I hate being a man so much.

I don't feel I have a gender either. I consider myself agender.

Of course, I'm listed as male on WP because they don't have any non-binary gender options, so I flipped a coin. But despite the fact that other genders are often ignored, there are more genders out there than just "male" or "female". Maybe you're one of those. There are people who are non-binary genders who want hormones and surgery and stuff, too... some do, some don't.

I'm MtF, but I've never been sexually interested in being a woman. So I can't say anything about that. (I'm actually Asexual, so...)

Things I would ask are:
1: What aspects of being a woman appeal to you?

2: How do you think your life would be different as a woman?

3: Where is your dysphoria coming from, is it social, sensual, or something else. Can you address this issue without medical transition.

Personally, it was a very very complicated situation. For me, transitioning was a way to express myself. I didn't expect things to change much post transition, other than being more comfortable with my body. I never saw it as having any relationship to my sexuality, because I'm asexual. There are sensory related preferences, I like the feeling of having long hair, and women's clothing uses softer fabrics. And I don't feel restrained in my social expression. (Not that I'm actually any less shy or awkward, just not feeling fake constantly.)

Again, see a therapist, explore your feelings. Try adopting a less gendered persona, if masculinity bothers you then stop. It's not uncommon for boys to act more femininely, it's 2012 after all. Being a teenager makes it much more socially acceptable to explore these things. And if you find that transition is right for you, you'll thank yourself for working through this now, rather than put it off.

1. I don't understand this question really.
2. I would be able to live as I want, wear what I want, express my feminine side as much as I want and enjoy my body and my lacks of my manly bodyparts. I woulden't have to bother to feel annoyed that there are things hanging between my legs. I would be able to have long hair aswell. I would be comfortable with my body.
3. I have no idea, too be honest.