not noticing objects pointed out: an AS thing??

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Jayo
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06 Aug 2012, 8:40 pm

Sometimes when a person point out an object and tells me to observe it, pick it up and bring it to them, etc, etc...I can't tell right away exactly which object they're referring to. In the case of an observation request i.e. "See that green frumalingong over there??" sometimes I've faked knowing which one, but they could tell I was lying. I had to say "where?" "where?" and the person would get frustrated and say "there!! there!!" pointing frantically to the spot where I still couldn't see. In the case of a pick-up request, I have often picked up the wrong item, or looked around in vain, frustrated, for exactly which item they were talking about, and once they show their frustration, all bets are off as my mind switches off from distress in true AS fashion. More than once, this type of situation has resulted in the requester coming up to my area and picking the object out for me.

Because it's a processing speed issue for me, and the other person expects me to see the object in question right away, I used the coping strategy of saying "ok, just give me a moment, I'm trying to narrow it down, bear with me..." which is not always satisfactory but doesn't leave me looking like a total fool, unless there are like five other people present (NT) who see the object in question almost immediately. Then the requester knows it's not them, it's me. 8O

This has plagued me since as far back as I can remember, back in the days when clueless shrinks told me I must have ADHD because it was the latest fashionable label. But I don't see this as an ADHD thing, as I wasn't distracted or thinking of something else during these semi-fruitless searches. I would hypothesize that, somehow, it's related to the ASD/NVLD tendency to filter/absorb relevant stimuli in our environment w/o realizing it. But I'm not sure. Even today, after years of counseling and research, I still don't get how I miss certain things that seem much more obvious once they are more clearly identified.



kirayng
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06 Aug 2012, 8:48 pm

It's a combination of autism's detail-oriented thinking and miscommunication on the part of the requester. If someone asked me to get the red scarf off of the top of the bureau, no problem. If they say, pointing across the room, 'bring me that scarf over there', I may not even see a 'scarf' anywhere until they specify exactly where to look. It's having to do with vague instructions, I think, as well as getting lost in a complex visual field (in the case of bringing objects to people). Being sense-based, autistic people would naturally want specifics when having to apply concepts to what is seen 'out there'. Does that make sense?



alecazam3567
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06 Aug 2012, 8:56 pm

I can't say I know whether this is Asperger's, but I have Asperger's and I experience this all the time. Another instance was when I was holding a heavy box and my dad told me to put it "over there" and pointed to the spot, but I just awkwardly walked around struggling with the box xD



Mirror21
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06 Aug 2012, 9:34 pm

I have this problem a lot. Especially inside stores.

Friend: Hand me that pen up there
Me: *looking from bottom to top, following the row of pens to find the pen pack*
Friend: why the hell are you looking down there when I said UP there? did you not LITSEN to me?
me: I was trying to find it
Friend: try looking up where I pointed
Me -_-
friend: is not like you have a problem
Me: *thinking: my brain is different you moron*



daydreamer84
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06 Aug 2012, 10:18 pm

I can't tell where people are pointing either. Actually, I always thought this difficulty had to do with poor visual spatial abilities and not AS, I have NVLD as well as AS and have problems with visual spatial perception ,but it's interesting that other people with AS can't tell where others are pointing either. Is this an issue with communicating non-verbally (and so related to AS and NVLD)?



theWanderer
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06 Aug 2012, 10:24 pm

I've always had this problem. I used to think it was just because I'm legally blind. That doesn't help, of course, but there are cases where people who know what I can see are sure I "ought" to be able to find whatever they're telling me to fetch, but I can't...


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2wheels4ever
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06 Aug 2012, 11:27 pm

I hope this boat doesn't capsize, I was just remembering a time this caused me grief when my mom told me to get my brother's clothing article from a drawer. If someone says "Go over to (Brand) shelf and get me (part) I'm better


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FishStickNick
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07 Aug 2012, 1:00 am

kirayng wrote:
It's a combination of autism's detail-oriented thinking and miscommunication on the part of the requester. If someone asked me to get the red scarf off of the top of the bureau, no problem. If they say, pointing across the room, 'bring me that scarf over there', I may not even see a 'scarf' anywhere until they specify exactly where to look. It's having to do with vague instructions, I think, as well as getting lost in a complex visual field (in the case of bringing objects to people). Being sense-based, autistic people would naturally want specifics when having to apply concepts to what is seen 'out there'. Does that make sense?

Yep. This describes typical exchanges between me and my mom. She isn't very precise, and I'm not always good at deciphering what she's asking me to do.

"Where are your car keys? I need to get something out of the trunk."
"They're in my purse."
"Where in your purse?"
"There in the side pocket."
"Uh...which? The one inside the zipper or...?"
etc...



League_Girl
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07 Aug 2012, 1:15 am

I have the same difficulty too. I feel I am playing iSpy when I am told the name of the object and I have to go look for it. I also ask where is it at and keep asking.


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hellokittyluvr
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07 Aug 2012, 1:27 am

im also like this..its annoying especially when people make u feel stupid about it



FishStickNick
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07 Aug 2012, 1:28 am

League_Girl wrote:
I have the same difficulty too. I feel I am playing iSpy when I am told the name of the object and I have to go look for it. I also ask where is it at and keep asking.

What's even worse is when said object is literally right in front of you. :oops: :?



Mirror21
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07 Aug 2012, 3:09 am

FishStickNick wrote:
kirayng wrote:
It's a combination of autism's detail-oriented thinking and miscommunication on the part of the requester. If someone asked me to get the red scarf off of the top of the bureau, no problem. If they say, pointing across the room, 'bring me that scarf over there', I may not even see a 'scarf' anywhere until they specify exactly where to look. It's having to do with vague instructions, I think, as well as getting lost in a complex visual field (in the case of bringing objects to people). Being sense-based, autistic people would naturally want specifics when having to apply concepts to what is seen 'out there'. Does that make sense?

Yep. This describes typical exchanges between me and my mom. She isn't very precise, and I'm not always good at deciphering what she's asking me to do.

"Where are your car keys? I need to get something out of the trunk."
"They're in my purse."
"Where in your purse?"
"There in the side pocket."
"Uh...which? The one inside the zipper or...?"
etc...


This reminds me of a joke this dude played on me once. He was like watch out you dropped your pocket!" I freaked out a little and almost started looking for it.



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07 Aug 2012, 3:31 am

I think this is something called joint attention, and it can very well be impaired in autistic people. I have issues with knowing where to look when someone is pointing, and knowing there is a "where" to look instead of at the pointing finger.

Then again my brain has very strict categories and this tends to limit me without me realizing until afterward. Part of dinner last night was potato chips (grilled hamburgers, hot dogs), and my nephew left the unopened bag somewhere. I looked all over the kitchen and finally asked him. It turned out it was right in front of me, about two feet, on the breakfast bar, on the side that was technically not in the kitchen. I didn't look there because... I was looking in the kitchen.



Joe90
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07 Aug 2012, 6:34 am

Oh - you mean something like ''object blindness''. Yeah, I have that, and it can be so embarrassing. It's weird, because if somebody asked me to pass them a pen that's on the table, the pen ''disappears'', but if somebody has lost something and we're all looking for it, I'm often the first one to find it.

I even have problems with things like if someone said, ''we are having our fence/gate done, so when you get to mine come through the gap in the hedge, which is a bit further long'', and when I get there I cannot find a gap in the hedge at all, no matter how big enough it is to see.

Often my mum gets really annoyed when I can't see an object that is right in front of me. She then points to it angrily and yells, ''there, look, there!'' and makes me feel so stupid. I never forget that time when she asked me to fetch some money that was on the arm of the settee, and I went in the living-room and couldn't see any money anywhere, and I remembered my object-blindness problem so I brushed each arm of the settees with my hands so that it would fall off, then I would see it! But I wasn't too worried because the money wasn't even in the living-room - my mum had forgotten she had put it in her bag already.


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CyborgUprising
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07 Aug 2012, 11:36 am

I cannot ascertain where someone is precisely pointing (I get the general direction, but I cannot determine which object they are indicating). Why can't people simply say what they want you to do without the confusing and needless pointing?
Nothing more irksome than someone pointing to a table with a thousand other objects on it, requesting me to "bring me that." What is "that?;" The salt? The pepper? The sugar? That oddly-shaped plate? When you question them, they act like you're an imbecile and say "look where I'm pointing!" or "God, I should've just done it myself!" (OK, then just f*****g do it next time)...



jetbuilder
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07 Aug 2012, 11:47 am

This often happens to me.


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