Why can't I handle group situations?

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There was a screening of Back to the Future at a bakery/coffee house in the young, hip part of the city. I went there to enjoy the screening, hoping to meet people.

But I get in and it is so crowded, with things going on in various rooms. Turns out the screening was in just one room, with all these people crammed in there watching on a small projector screen.

I mean as a filmmaker, I think it's a horrendous way to watch ANY film, let along a great one like Back to the Future. But I try not to be a snob. What really scared me away, was I just couldn't handle being around all those people. I didn't know anyone, and everyone there seemed to be with someone. How do I even begin to break the ice?

It's so weird...I want to be a part of the "scene," to fit in with all these people my age. Not to mention meet a cute girl and perhaps finally have a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. And there are so many there.

But I just feel totally alien in there. I step into the room, and I feel like the air has been sucked out, like I've fundamentally disturbed the atmosphere. I completely feel like an outsider.

And in this case, I stood in a corner for a few minutes looking around, and then I fled. Simply fled.

I really hate myself.

This sounds like it was very crowded. Lots of people are uncomfortable in crowded situations. Add to that that it was a strange place, with only strange people there, and the event was poorly staged--movie on very small screen in small crowded area. Naturally, you were turned off by it. Don't feel bad about leaving. The situation really called for that response. I prefer to watch movies in the comfort of my own home. I sometimes borrow them from the library. As long as you have a library card it's free! I also have a collection of videos and DVDs that I have bought or been given over the years that I like to watch. I have health issues that make home viewing a much better experience. Also, I don't mind waiting for a movie to come out in the stores, instead of rushing to see them in theaters. I have never understood the bizarre need that so many people seem to have, to be the first to see a movie when it comes out in theaters.

Unfortunately, my TV died over a year ago. However, I am planning on getting a new one soon.

I'm a fan of films and wish my small town would put on an event like that. And I would have been disappointed also. Large crowds have made me dizzy and disoriented since I was little. I can only offer empathy. That must have been a bit deflating to be robbed of a passion like that. Does your brain attempt to process the conversations instead of block them out? That would be my top problem after the disorienting affects of the noise. My timing on anything I said would be way off. And not being able to hear myself talk would make me afraid I was mumbling gibberish. I could only sit and go mute. I wouldn't beat myself up over such a tall task. You may well have been the most interesting person in the room. 'just not your scene. Have you thought doing your own guerilla theater in a park or field? That's something I want to do if I had the money to rent the equipment.

You sound like me. In most cases you just have to force yourself to go. You'd basically be doing cognitive behavioural therapy on your own.

I empathize with the OP as well....I've had problems with crowds since I was a kid. Part of it is sensory chaos , over-stimulation, it's also the dynamics of multiple people interacting, too much to keep track of. It might have to do with other things as well....crowds are terrifying.

I can understand how you felt. Just the other day I had lunch with 4 other women. It was just 5 of us and I couldn't handle it. Between the 4 of them laughing really loud (at stuff I didn't find funny at all so had to force fake laughs--which gets exhausting) and the noise of other people and the busboys throwing dirty dishes into the bin which was like 10 feet away, I thought I'd pull every last hair out of my head. And yeah, I really wanted to just bolt for the door.