About coping with change.

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I'm moving to another city on Thursday. I'm starting university on Monday next week. I'm excited about learning things but very anxious about the changes and about the social aspect of studying.

I've spent about a quarter of the day pacing my room saying "I hate change" over and over and over again, one quarter of the day sitting in my chair thinking "I hate change" over and over and over again while hitting my head in my desk. The other half I've spent trying to disassemble my bookcase and things like that. Big changes like going off to university and small sudden changes are the worst. Small sudden changes usually make me annoyed or angry while big changes like this make me very anxious. I feel like I'm leaving all my security and all things familiar behind.

At university I'll be living in a sort of dormitory with 11 other students. I'll have my own room and my own bathroom but I'll have to share the kitchen with the others. I expect it's going to be really messy and really noisy and I expect people are going to want me to be social and outgoing etc. Makes me so anxious I feel nauseous. No matter if I've got AS or not, I hate change.

Any advice on how to cope with changes like this? Also, have you got any advice on how to initiate conversations and be social and things like that? At university that is. I'd really appreciate some help.

Thanks.

First - I'd go explore this new city. This will feel more like traveling and less like sudden change in life. And in meantime you will get somewhat accustomed to the situation.
Second - engage in some familiar routine. In my case it can be my notebook and simply browsing Internet while listening music, completely shut off from outside world.
And then, little by little you can get out of this shell.



Just say "Hi") You can ask their names, and where are they from. You can ask what courses they are attending at university or something like that.


Sorry, my English is probably not very good, hope it is understandable.

I've just moved for the first time on my own, and I can identify with hating change. I have my own apartment in a basement, but I have to share the laundry and I can hear the people upstairs (and their terrible music choices!). It has been a difficult adjustment at times, but I am getting used to it 2 weeks in.
If you are concerned that common areas will be noisy or overwhelming, make sure you have your room set up to be your sanctuary. I don't recommend that you spend all of your time in your room, it is just reassuring to know that you have a "safe" place to retreat to if you feel too overwhelmed. Bring objects, pictures, scented objects, a favourite pillow and blanket, comfortable lighting, and your favourite music to make your room feel comfortable. I know you may not have much space, so choose just a few items, but those items can make you feel much more at home and much less homesick. Make sure to have ear plugs if noises bother you and a small fan is helpful for drowning out noises while sleeping.
As far as being social, don't spend all your time in your room and you will begin to meet people. You will be "forced" to communicate with others in common areas, and this is a good thing! If you can stand the commotion, do some of your homework in a common area. If you will be sharing the area with other first years, they may also feel uneasy about socializing with new people in a new place and that could work to your benefit as something to "bond" over. If you are willing to be active, the student athletic centre can be a great place to meet people. They may offer sports, but they may also have a gym with some treadmills or elliptical machines. You may find that people don't talk much at the gym, but if you go regularly you will become familiar with other people and they will become familiar with you. If you see each other in the library, cafeteria, or change room, you will have something in common to start a conversation.
Expect to feel some anxiety. Sometimes it may be pretty intense, but it will pass. You will adjust to the change and you may even like it! You will likely experience homesickness, and this is completely normal. It will also pass. You may find that there are certain times of the day that are more difficult than others, like before bed or in the morning. Try to set up a routine for those times that helps you feel more at ease. A helpful routine could include distracting activities like reading or cleaning or watching the latest youtube videos, or it could include rewarding activities like spending some time on a special interest or drawing or playing a favourite game. It could even be something social like visiting the library, gym, campus store, or just hanging out in a common area.
If you have trouble adjusting after a few weeks, or it feels too overwhelming at any point, get connected with helpful campus services. Don't wait until you feel like you can't handle things, though, if you think you could use some help then ask for it! Many schools have something similar to a guidance department that may offer counselling, there may be something specifically for students adjusting to life at university. There is usually an activities council that can direct you to activities designed to help you settle in. There are usually lots of clubs, so one of them might appeal to you. There are often services to help you transition to the academic expectations of university, like a service that will proof read your papers or help with math. Explore the campus and see what is available! Don't be afraid to use the services on campus, that is what they are for, and you're paying for them in your tuition!
I hope university is a very positive experience for you and that you adjust to the changes quickly. Good luck!

No advice sorry.....I don't know what to do either......I just graduated uni and I'm not sure what to do now......I don't have a full course load to return to in September.....just one course for a subject I might do another degree in. I hate change too and I'm going a little mad!

Yes, I'm planning on making my room my "sanctuary". I'm going to bring most of my furniture and things from home so I think I'm going to try to make the new room look like my current room as much as possible. Obviously it won't be the same, but still. I'll have the same colours, same bed, same desk etc. And yes, I've got earplugs. I even use earplugs here at home.



I just find it difficult to be around people I don't know. I'm extremely anxious about the first day of uni for example. How am I supposed to find people to talk to? I know myself and I know I'll probably just sit quiet (I pretty much go mute sometimes) and observe other people, not daring to go up and talk to them. If no one initiates a conversation with me, I don't think I'll be talking that much.

Neurotypicals have a more fluid belief/social symbolic system which will adjust according to the people around them and corrode over time unless if the belief is repeatedly strengthened by other NT's. Due to this non-permanentness, they can more easily cope with change but in turn they are more susceptible to propaganda or advertising.

It's mostly neurological and there probably isn't much that can be done, other than to minimize change.

In the first week or so of school there will be guided activities to force you to get to know others. During orientation, there are games and activities like having to find different people in your class that have experienced different things and have them sign a paper. Sometimes there are games like "two truths and one lie" where everyone has to say things about themselves and other people have to figure out which is truth and which is a lie. They're fairly childish games, but most people just starting university feel anxious about meeting people or not knowing anybody. At my college, we had "get to know you" games in every class on that class' first day. Most residences have something similar. There may even be a bouncey castle or a llama involved! There are also usually advanced year students, sometimes from the same program, who try to get everyone involved in conversation and activities. My college has movie nights, free slushies, pancake breakfast, even a little cruise. A lot of the activities are mandatory, but not everything. Try to take part in everything you can, it will be worth it!

The first couple of weeks of college are crucial for making friends. Sit beside someone with whom you think you might get along with. Try finding common ground with them or compliment them on something and a conversation might start up just like that.