I have some Asperger traits

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I am new here.
I have been wondering for a long time if I have very mild Asperger's,
very mild ADHD, HSP (high sensitive person), or am neurotypical introvert?
I am in my 50's and female.
Have a good job, a good long term committed relationship, hobbies I enjoy
but just want to know myself better
If you know the Myers Briggs test I score as INFJ: used to score INTJ until later
in life when I got more in touch with my feelings and accepted being more emotional.

I don't seem to fit either the criteria for Asperger's OR ADHD yet seem to some traits of both.
Or maybe I am neurotypical with just a few non-neurotypical traits?

I was wondering what people think the following sounds more like?
I am sorry this email is so long.

Traits that I have:


- I love to hyperfocus and get REALLY wrapped up in things.
It's a need of mine.
I am
constantly reading whenever I am not doing anything else.
As a computer programmer, in fact I MUST be able to hyperfocus
in order to perform well at my job, and I am good at it.

- I actually don't like working with computers that much: in later years, I
have started to prefer more to work with my hands: computers to me, have
started to feel kind of "cold" and mechanical and abstract.

- I am bright although not brilliant

- My reading is sometimes used as a filter in order to 'relax"
at home after a day out with people. I always have a book in my hand whenever
it is socially accepted to do so.

- I need a lot of time alone: but I enjoy being with people too:
just need time "off" from them to "recharge".

- I have trouble looking people in the eye: it kind of makes me feel invaded:
but as an adult I have learned to mask this. What is strange is I don't have trouble
looking pets (my cats) in the eye just people.

- I have strong interests (although not narrow ones: I am curious about a lot of different
things)

- I always like to keep busy, am always doing something: hard to stop and just BE.

- I always have multiple projects going. But I am on task, finish things, concentrate well.

- I have trouble listening for a long time unless my hands or body are active.

- I sometimes have trouble knowing when someone has finished speaking or just paused:
and if I judge wrongly I start to talk when they are not done. But I know the rule, immediately
realize I should not have interrupted and why.

-I have a strong startle response: when someone surprises me from behind I jump.
My mother and brother have this too so I know it is not PTSD but something hardwired.

- A few people who themselves had Asperger's have wondered if i had it.
- People who had ADHD have wondered if I had it
- Neurotypical people not familiar with either either say that I am nervous, and should relax,
or else don't feel there is anything unusual about me

- When I am around people with either Asperger's or ADHD, I feel a kind of mental 'click"
as if we spoke a common language.

- I tend to send multiple emails especially in arguments: have trouble letting go of the desire
to prove my point or to clarify things exactly: have lost friends because of this. Am working
on letting go of the desire to do this, and send briefer and fewer letters.

- I am very verbal: the length of this email is an example (sorry if too long).

- I am talkative but also shy. People often do not know I am shy because I am talkative

- Very sensitive to criticism: when as a child someone called me a name, it felt like being
hit in the stomach. As an adult I have learned to mask this.

-I come across as a computer nerd

- hard to switch gears when, at work, I get interrupted when I am
deeply focused

- I don't like rules: I am independent and like to think for myself

- I understand nonverbal social cues, I feel in sync with people, understand their motives, can
easily guess what they are feeling. I have been told except for the interrupting,
I have normal social skills and should not worry about this so much, although not excellent or outstandingly
good ones.

- I don't have issues with sensory overload although I prefer a quiet peaceful environment

-In addition to programming, I love to write poetry, and am exploring different forms of art
although not talented in it

- I stay on task, finish things, can focus.

- I like to work with my hands and be creative

- I love exploring new topics and learning new things

- I like being spontaneous, enjoy a lot of variety and need change in my life:
I used to move to a different apartment every 3 years until I bought my curren home

- But it irritates me when people change plans on me: i don't get upset I am just irritated,
but then I adjust.

A final trait:

My very desire to ruminate and even enjoy wondering what category (if any), I fit into or don't fit into.

PeaceWalker

Welkome to WP

Mick

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

It could be that you have some traits of Asperger's. On another forum (non-Aspie) I brought up the possibility that I could be an Aspie and the others there all said they couldn't tell from my posts. One said that she has some Aspie traits ("shaodw traits") and I could have those.

Aspie people think I'm Aspie, NT people think I'm fine, or that I need to learn to chill out.

I've held a job for 12 years, and lived on my own for 12 years--which is untypical for an Aspie I think. So I dunno.

Like you, I have trouble with eye contact, even had my old pastor tell me, "Look me in the eye. Just look me in the eye! Why won't you look me in the eye?" I DON'T KNOW.

I also have a need for my hands to do something when visiting people, or I get antsy. I can't stand eating without something to read or do. I've had to teach myself how to eat with my family without having my nose absorbed in a paper or a book. I hate small talk sometimes cause it's like being grilled.

I tested as an INFJ in college too. For INFJ's life in general can be challenging, and we sometimes have to approach things like the job market differently than the average person. We can accomplish things, just not always in the usual fashion.

Anyway, welcome to WP!