The greatest problems that Aspergers brings to your life!! !

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I was thinking about all the issues and pain that Aspergers brings to our lives, the NT mind could nit deal with the things that we suffer with...we are all so different yet we all have so much in common. I was wondering if you could have just one problem or issue that Aspergers brings to your life magically taken away, what would it be and why? I think that this insight into all our life's would help a lot of aspies....let's see how much we can understand and how far this thread can go...

If I could magically change just one thing, I wish I could better interpret and communicate in non-verbal communication and facial expressions better than I can right now. I made the choice to work in a career involving people because I knew that the only way I could get better with interacting with people was to be put in situations where I interact with people.

I have made some incredible strides, and am much less anxious than I was even just a few years ago. However, there are moments when I feel anxious and isolated because I feel like there's a channel of warmth and communication that I'm missing out on because I lack the basic NT internal mechanisms to perceive it. Having straight talking and outgoing friends who are understanding and can give me a bit of verbal cueing so I don't embarrass myself has helped with this.

I would ask for better social skills
due to lack of good social skills i lag behind
if i had good social skills i would have had many friends
who in turn would have supported me and mentored me
i would not have faced problems in career
similarly i wouldnt be left to be depressed and alone all the time
i could also have attended social do's and events
it would have been far easier to raise my son since there would
have been support system.
and in prime of my youth i wouldnt have been living a isolated hermit life
wondering how my oldage would be

The ignorant people and curebies that I have to deal with. Hearing people talking about Jenny McCarthy all the time. If people weren't so closed minded, I'd have no problem at all.

I wish I was better at solving my own problems. I am learning how to, though, so I'm getting a bit better.

My lack of emotions which leads to my lack of meaningful relationships.

I wish people and I could mutually understand each other. The only thing easy about empathy is figuring out when little I say makes sense to anyone.

Right now, it's a combination of being very smart but appearing slow due to my emotional immaturity and not being able to understand women on a deep level since I love kids and would love nothing more to be a family man. Until I came here I wondered if anyone could truly understand me.

There are mind ailments which NTs (and Aspies) can have the are much more difficult and painful to live with than Aspergers alone. I'm just mentioning this since it's kind of self indulgent to imply that you suffer in ways that an NT couldn't deal with. I understand that life isn't a walk in the park for people with Aspergers, but being NT doesn't equal a better, issue-free life. Just saying.

Superior understanding ,no misinterpretations

I don't like a lot of my symptoms, like uncontrollable outbursts, getting easily irritated or agitated, feeling overwhelmed or tired in crowds (even if I'm enjoying myself), feeling so self-conscious it's become a soul-destroying issue, looking awkward, having obsessions that I can't seem to live without, being too anxious over small things, being easily startled by loud noises, being emotionally weak, unsure of what to do in unexpected situations, having emotions all over the place, having lack of interest in things what most female enjoy doing like shopping, being upset if my routine is disrupted.....the list goes on.

But out of all that, I think I would love to magically get rid of my social issues. I didn't mention that specifically in the given list, but there are a few points there that are linked to social issues, like ''looking awkward'', ''feeling so self-conscious it's become a soul-destroying issue'', ''feeling overwhelmed or tired in crowds'', ''being emotionally weak'', and ''unsure of what to do in unexpected situations''. But I feel so ashamed of being so shy in social situations. I'm always so afraid of making social errors or looking stupid, and knowing that I'm probably not that good at engaging in conversations with people anyway just makes me feel more afraid of looking stupid than ever. When I'm invited to a party, I just sit there and don't say a word to anyone, and even if I smile and make eye contact and greet people, people can still seem to pick up on the shy side of me and don't bother to come up to me and talk to me, and I think why should I make all the effort to go up to them when they're got better social graces than I have? I think I should be given a chance. But that's besides the point, I just hate being socially awkward, and I feel I'm so timid all the time, scared of my own shadow, wouldn't say boo to a goose, even afraid to pass a stranger in the street and meet their eyes, in case I think they're judging me.
I just wish I could get rid of all this feeling like I do in social situations. I would love to be more social. It would be lovely if they invented medication what isn't illegal drugs and can make you appear more confident and say the right things in social situations. I'm not saying it as a cure, I'm just saying something that helps not appear so socially awkward, and just helps the social part of the brain function more effectively just so one can feel more comfortable in social situations and make you more chatty and not be so afraid to hear your own voice in a group conversation. I mean, they have the pill that helps most women have more controllable periods and lessens the pains without many side effects (works with me and most other women who I know are on it and none of us have any side effects and we can enjoy life when on our periods), so I think there should be a pill what would help Aspies have more controllable social skills and become able to enjoy life when in social situations, without no side effects.

Doesn't life suck when you're aware of your social disabilities but can't do much about it?

for me it's my difficulty in fallowing directions. i have trouble paying attention, inferring, and have a bad short term memory which makes it tough to digest an idea when it's thrown at me which in sum makes it hard for me to understand even simple directions being said or written to me. this in effects hinders all the areas within the color wheel of my life; jobs, school, socializing, making money, survival, enjoyment, ect. if i could find a garentee way to fix this weakness, i would literally do anything to find out!

The high expectations other people place upon me because they perceive me as smart or a genius or some other thing like that. People don't understand why I can't do something, because verbally I'm so smart. I have the capacity to collect information to do about anything I want. I don't have the capacity to do, though. So because I sound smart, and talk eloquently, people expect a lot of me, but I'm not able to deliver as my performance IQ is so low due to my NVLD. So then people always think I'm just not trying hard enough, or I lack motivation or drive or whatever.

People just say "But you're so smart, you should be a scientist/author/engineer (I can't become an engineer due to being horrendous at math, but laypeople still think I'm smart enough for it apparently when I don't even know Algebra 1) or something, why aren't you working or in school, you're so smart, you have so much to offer to society." People think I'm like, obligated to do something for "society" or the greater good or whatever, but I can barely manage my own life, I don't see how I can really help "society." I feel like how "smart" I am is completely utterly irrelevant, people say I can do all kinds of things, but I can't, because I've not actually done them.

I guess a way to put it is, people are like "Oh wow, you're so good at cooking/working on cars/computers/fixing things, I wish I could do that!" And I used to just tell them/think "Well, all you gotta do is try, and do it." And to a point, it's right. Anyone can improve at any activity with practice. That's a given. We are finite as humans, and we all do not possess unlimited capability for everything ever. Now I realize also, that we are made with different strengths and weaknesses. Many times the people that remark how good I am at random things/how smart I am, etc, think it'd be easy for me to do things I'm bad at, basically with more practice. But, it'd be just as hard for them to learn the things I'm good at as it'd be for me to learn the things they're good at.

As far as social problems, to an extent, I can almost care less about the social problems my NVLD/AS gives me. In some ways, they can be beneficial almost. But at the same time, I fit more in the "outgoing but odd" category of Aspergers. I never really was shy ever, I'm just socially awkward, but not shy. So my social dumbness+lack of shyness has helped me in some ways, I'm probably less "shy" than the average person. For example, I went to an estate sale with no money and just asked them if I could have some items for free. And they gave them to me. Most normal people wouldn't think like that, and would be too caught up in what people would think of them to ask such things, whereas me I just wanted free stuff and got it. I wish I'd be less loveshy, but I don't think that's quite as directly traceable to my NVLD/AS and more to my upbringing and life circumstances. I have enough friends I guess, and don't really have trouble making friends, as I'm reasonably outgoing, and to an extent charismatic (I'd guess it'd take a certain amount of charisma to ask people for free things and have them actually give them to you) and decent looking, my problems are more keeping longterm friends, though, once they find out how weird I am they drift away usually. But social problems aren't my main issue, though.

For me its being unable to deal with things like filling out the deposit form at the bank when you have to put all the details of the cheque. Not that I do it very often but it would be nice to be able to do it without getting confused as its one of those things everyone can do.

Ditto. I have always had trouble remembering directions---and deciphering them. It used to be so bad that I wouldn't play board games and card games because of not understanding the directions to the game. Bad short-term memory---I have to write things down or make lists because if I don't---I will just forget. People can give me directions or tell me some information---it goes in one ear and out the other.

I think this is because some of us are more visual and kinestehetic in the way we learn and remember. We think in pictures and our ability to remember is closely tied to that. Things or info or subject matter that stir my curiosity and interest---these things are easier to remember.

The feeling of being too much in control, causing me to not experience any of the spontaneous things in live. And of course the feeling of thinking I'm in control of it all and it then not going that way after all, and then treating that situation as a "broken illogical one" rather than "different".