Ever thought that you're too weak to be a part of society?

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Or that you're simply afraid? Maybe it's just too challenging for us? You can ask any average person and most of them will tell you that life isn't easy, so maybe we excuse our weakness by saying that we're different and have a disability? I mean we can do many things, we're smart, we aren't "mentaly ret*d", but maybe we didn't reach the level of Neurotypicals. To put it simply, what if we're sidetracked?

To tell you the truth, I can't put a finger on why I'm a recluse. In the back of my mind I'd like to go to the movies or date somebody or go see a ball game or go to a disco. The simple fact is, I don't. I know spectrumites do socialize. I don't. I know some do get married and have kids. I never did. I do worry my reclusiveness could lead to something worse. I do have forced socialization - I have to start working in about a month - so all hope isn't totally lost.

You're saying a lot of stuff that makes sense, but remember not to generalise for all autistics on the spectrum... Some of us do have the strength and the courage.. But I must admit that I, myself, have felt weak and afraid before, and I sometimes still do. And when I was afraid and weak, I did indeed use my disorder as an excuse for not going through with some things.

I'm not sure what you are trying to say in your last two sentences. I don't know what 'reaching the level of neurotypicals' refers to. I don't believe that even those with a disorder would be a on a 'lower level' per se when compared to what people view as 'normal folk'.
I also don't know how you figure we're sidetracked. I've felt sidetracked before, in my personal situation, but I figured that isn't something that happens to each autistic indivdual. In my case, I got really overconfident and failed to finish my education because I underestimated the requirements, exams, etc. Added to that was the stress, induced by living with my alcoholic father. The combination of the two led to my being sidetracked, butg that's very situation-specific, and obviously doesn't apply to everyone. Similar things can happen to other autistics, sure, and some of it may be due to their autism, but no useful generalisations can be made.

We can only try, but I think we'll stay in this poor state until death, I'm so jelious for NT's.

No, but i've often felt society is too weak to deserve me.

Well I think it's just an excuse to make yourself to feel better, but in reality WE ARE weaker, cuz we're not able to do things that NT's can. I want to go to parties, I want to hang out with friends, I want to be popular in school, but I CAN'T, I wasn't born this way.

Last edited by Dizzee on 26 Aug 2012, 3:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You could use that as an incentive to work harder. I do; I know I'm not nearly as socially adept as the average person, but that's kind of an important challenge in my life. Not the only challenge, but a challenge nonetheless.

I don't think there's a lot of work to be social, people are born this way, It's not the same as doing math.

But remember that you can do a lot by observing. Most of the social norms I've appropriated, I've learned by looking at and listening to other people. I may not 'feel' them instinctively like other people do, but I can apply some of them in certain situations the same way a surgeon applies his tools.

I still suck at it, but I get by.

i agree with you on the basic concept. my take on it is this: Much of the stuff that comes naturally to NTs has to be learned by those on the spectrum. Ive found that when I try to "act" NT people see through me immediately and call me out as being "ret*d". If i do not try to put on any kind of act, im simply ignored by all.

To me, even Church is more socializing than Im comfortable with, I tend to not stay at the same one for more than a month or two.

f**k NT's, they think they're perfect beings and we should follow them, I want to live in my own pace, but people are slaves.

I'm lucky in that I don't want to. A few hours in a middling busy town looking round the shops and I'm quite done for nearly a week. I like being out, because I like to people watch, and I like to look at things and think about them, and there's some very nice bus and train journeys to go on, and I know I do need some sort of 'forced' socialisation with the check out people and librarians and whatnot because otherwise I can get a little peculiar, but I don't feel the need to go further than that.

I'm sure there's a librarian I could enthuse about libraries with (the history, the practice, the romance - see also: the post office), and someone in a shop could tell me about the logistics of the delivery system (which would make my brain do happy things), and maybe I'll have those conversations one day - I like to think I'd spot the sympathetic worker, perhaps one of us. But while there are things I want to do better than I can where I might find fault with myself, in this case, no.

Being how I am, those who might be like me and then actually want to 'join in' have my sympathies.

I was listening to an interview with Guilermo del Toro earlier. He's always an interesting speaker, and on thing he said really struck home - "success is f*****g up on your own terms".

I feel like this all the time.

I don't feel that I'm too weak to be a part of society. I think that there are some people who aren't strong enough to accept anything that's different.

Not explicitly, but I do feel like I won't ever be able to cope or be independent enough to survive in the outside world.

Sure. But I know now that isn't true. To put it simply, I've been working my ass off for 30 years to achieve sporadic success at things that other people do automatically. Obviously that's possible, since some people obviously have as much difficulty with the things that require very little effort for me.

The idea that we're simply weak or lazy is a common misconception and if we internalize it we only hurt ourselves.