People dont want me around

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People dont want me to be around me thats the general vibe i get from them.
Today i was doing some work and a lady from headoffice came down
after an hour my colleague walked in the lady from the headoffice told her
i like to see your smiling face, you always smile and seem so cheerful.

On the contrast i have a titsy bitsy smile and she barely seems interested in talking
or interacting with me.....from the vibes i get i feel strongly that people
dont prefer to be around me.

I am like a stale onion which emits something undesirable.............

People dont want to add me on facebook,
they dont prefer inviting me,
they dont want to interact with me.....

so i myself started avoiding them
but the more i am isolated i go deep into depression
and someday situation may go out of hand.

Did you ever try my advice in trying to be talkative and friendly with some of the men at your job so they'd allow you to sit with them at lunch time? I know the women are cruel to you, but I think the guys at your job would be more accepting of a girl off on her own.

Or do you just post for the sake of posting?

I feel I'm not wanted either, even if I try my best to be talkative and smile and make eye contact, et cetera. And I don't think I do too badly either, I hate that usual cliche advice I get from other Aspies saying ''you say you make eye contact, smile and make conversation, but you probably do it all the wrong way, come across as creepy, and talk about your interests''. That doesn't really help at all and I know I don't do that. Nobody at my volunteer job even knows I have an obsession with anything, and I know how to do small talk, and I've gotten better at other things like greeting people, jeez!

But, like the OP, I sometimes feel that I can pick up on a vibe that people don't want me around. Sometimes people say something like, ''um....so are you going to get something to eat now?'' in a mumbly sort of voice as though they're trying to get me to go away by me saying, ''yep, I'm getting hungry, I'd better buy me some lunch, see you around!'' and then I do what they secrelty wanted me to do, which is piss off, giving them room to talk to more better people who are more worth their time.

Pathetic. Sounds a little narcissitic. Forget about the world revolving around you for a minute. I used to think the same way. Accept yourself, and let others figure out if they like you or not. Who cares if they like you or not? Not everyone will. Accept this. Be who you are, and see if you can like everyone regardless of how they are. Try that. Stop demanding people treat you a certain way. You can set the tone. You can determine your own happiness. You can be in control of your own feelings, as soon as you realize no one else is responsible for how you feel. Repeat that a few times.

to OP:
often for us on the spectrum, work is the last place one may find any sympatico people to hang with. i had to drive over an hour to the next county to find true quality people who appreciate me maybe you will have to find some other online forum to meet compatible people IRL. i don't know where u'r from, but in USA it is www.meetup.com.

I am familiar with East Asian (primarily Hindu) cultures, and with office work environments.

Why don't you think about two different co-workers that YOU like (don't worry about how you think they feel about you) and make an effort to get to know them? It may help, while you're working on conversations with your two target people, to say something like, "I know I'm not very good with chit chat, so let me know if I'm doing something wrong" or "I'm naturally shy, but I'm trying get to know more people."

Saying something like "I'm naturally shy" is a good way to explain autistic traits without disclosing that you're on the spectrum. I don't know how the social climate is in India for ASD, but I'm suspecting it might not be something you would want everyone in the world to know.

Many women actually enjoy acting like a "social coach" to a new friend if they are given the permission to do so.

I think your co-workers just haven't known how to act around you because they don't understand your alternate (autistic) behaviors and mannerisms. If you focus on just a couple of people and then give those people an explanation for why you're different ("I'm shy" or "I'm not good at chatting but want help") I think you'll make friends easier.

It'll be okay. I'll bet people want to be friends with you and you just haven't picked up on it. And like another poster said, maybe work just isn't the place. You could find your "target" people in your neighbors or extended family. Indian culture is more heavily reliant on collective identity and fitting in than Western societies, which are more individualistic, so of course you're having a hard time. But it will get better.

Do you come across as negative? Sometimes people come across as negative without knowing they do. If so, people tend to not want to be around them. Negativity can really put people off. I know that I tend to be negative and I have to watch myself and make sure I don't come across that way to others. Of course face to face interaction is very different from the interaction of posting online, so you may simply be venting here and asking for advice about problems.

I'd suggest you try and notice how you are coming across when you are around others. Sometimes shy comes across as sad or as standoffish. You have to make the effort too, and at first it is harder to act happy when you aren't, but as you start making friends and getting good feedback it becomes natural.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com