Coping With Need for Solitude

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So this might be a long one, but I hope I will get some advice. I really don't know what the source of my asocial tendency is (that is whether it's Asperger's Syndrome or something else), but I know people with AS tend to experience what I'm going through. Basically, I have always needed a lot of time alone either on long (often four to six hour) walks or in my room doing activities that have varied throughout my life (reading, movies, playing board games against myself, playing guitar/keyboard/ukulele and wikipedia/google). This hasn't been a problem until now. My brother has severe autism and needs his own room for his pretty much daily meltdowns, so we had our own rooms from a very young age. Then when I first went to college I got my own room in an apartment-style dorm with one other guy who basically didn't interact with me at all because he didn't approve of my being gay. The next year and a half I lived alone, but then money got tight and I had to move back with my parents (late 2010). In April of this year, however, I moved in with my boyfriend (of a year and a half). To be entirely honest, I wasn't totally comfortable with the idea (I know myself well enough to know I need my privacy and solitude), but I could sense that it was hurting him that I didn't want to live with him, so I acquiesced.
He was very happy and I was very happy too at the time. The apartment we found was right downtown (I'm really into tall buildings, public transportation, and walking as I said before) and in a really cool old building. It was fine for a while, but the fact that I don't have my own room, or even a closet, even a corner to call my own and be alone in has been trying. It's been getting worse because my boyfriend has been socializing more with our neighbors with whom I just don't get along. I met most of my friends through my main interests, theatre and music, which tend to attract "weird" people, intellectuals, certainly a lot of Aspies: outsiders, like me, so even though obviously the asocial in me doesn't turn off, I have made a few really cool friends I can talk with for hours and feel great. My boyfriend's new friends, however, are impossible to talk to; they don't share my interests, don't read, don't go to school, are obsessed with partying, and they don't talk - they just gossip. I feel like I'm in high school all over again: a being apart, unsure whether I'm inside or outside the aquarium. I get really quiet, and totally lost in my own thoughts because I honestly feel that I am more interesting/intelligent than they are. Once I was even called stupid behind my back. It’s gotten to the point where I will use hidden meaning to insult certain individuals without their understanding for my own amusement (think Shakespearean clown scenes). I don’t want to do that, because I can intellectualize that it’s cruel, but I have no other avenue for my frustration.
Normally I would have a lot of alone time to let it out, but with only a few hours alone a day, I am keeping a lot of frustration with me, and it’s making me bitter and I don’t like it. Further, I feel so drained after hanging out with the neighbors that I have really only communicated with my own friends by text for the past month.
My boyfriend knows about my need for solitude on a superficial level, but keeps saying that the time I get alone after school while he is still at work should be enough, and won’t understand that sometimes I simply need to be alone when I need to be alone. I have been putting off my studying until he gets home so I can have time for my solitary interests, which also gives me an excuse not to go hang out next door. I am auditioning for a play next week and really hope I get it so I can have some time on stage which I find to be just as healing as alone time, because I’m totally in control of the situation, plus some of my real friends are sure to be auditioning or working backstage.
Anyhow, I hope I haven’t lost everybody, and that I’ve been somewhat clear. I’m just hoping someone can give me advice on how to cope with my shortage of solitary time, or maybe how to communicate my need to my boyfriend without hurting his feelings (he is very social and kind of needy as far as human attention is concerned). Even a “hey, dude, I’ve been there or somewhere similar” would ease my mind and make me feel less out of place.

I have been there most NT women will not understand why you must be away from them for hours after getting home. Split the difference decide how long each day that you can deal with his friend and find a place of solitude for your self I have a work shop in a large shed that I tinker and invent in . It probable saved my sanity. Hope this helps.

extroverts recharge by socializing. introverts recharge by being alone. i am an introvert. i used to have a job where i was communicating with people all the time. i was tired all the time and ended up missing work over it.

I can totally relate to the need for solitude. As an undergrad in residence I had private rooms and that was cool, but now I am a grad student living with my g/f of 13 years. My need for solitude was a contentious issue for years; she would be offended by me not spending time in the same room and stuff, and I also need hours a day alone.
I was only diagnosed AS last year, but since then I have learned that my verbal communication is poor and that I can explain myself much better in writing. I wrote my g/f a letter explaining how I feel and why I sometimes just won't hang out in the same room after a stressful day. If I give a seminar to dozens of people, or if I am working 15 hour days elbow to elbow in the lab, then I can't hang out when I get home.
I am lucky enough to have a nice private backyard garden to escape to, and now that she understands (a little better), I can chill alone as long as I need to and we argue much less. I hope you can find some place or way to disconnect.
I think your original post is well articulated and I didn't interpret any of it as derrogatory towards your b/f or your neighbours. I think that your post itself is a good explanation of your need for solitude and how it is not a reflection of your feelings for him. Perhaps read it to him, or use it as a starting point to write something for him specifically.