Funny stories about yourself

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Self-explanatory.
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Earlier today, at pre-reg day for KumoriCon, I was in a Montreal Canadiens jersey (remember my collection). I saw a Canada (Hetalia) cosplayer in a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey... she responded with "How dare you!" This being in character, I then cracked, "Well, this is awkward....."

And later at Burgerville I have my Miami Dolphins Dan Marino jersey... and a clerk is from Buffalo, NY and thus a Buffalo Bills fan! But she took it in stride.

Anybody have any funny stories?

I was pushed into a saltwater marsh when I was in second grade. I hugged the culprit and got him all marshy too.

I have had a lifelong struggle with a certain ammount of absentmindedness, and it was not good at all in my profession I can tell you. I learned to develop very elaborate safeguards and methodologies but sometimes it just happens anyway. I will not tell you about inadvertantly setting off the alarm at the nuclear weapon storage facility. It was not my fault anyway. It was a flock of dang birds I startled.

Anyway, I had gotten into some trouble over lost ID and car registration stickers at the army post I was at, right after 911 and barely got thru that without a serious problem developing (They showed up in a melting snow bank near where I got stuck in snow at my house in the spring). So when the new stickers arrived at work I immediately went right out to the parking lot and carefully applied them to my silver Honda Civic. Later, at the end of the day I was walking out to the parking lot with my friend and was getting ready to joke/brag about how diligent I was to apply the stickers so quickly (he knew me quite well). But as I was looking at the car, as we approached my words caught in my throat, because there indeed where the shiney new stickers, but also indeed it was not my car they were on. I didn't say anything to my friend, except 'Seeya tommorrow'. He would have scorched me. But I was just dumfounded standing there wondering if anyone else in the universe could possibly be as stupid as me. Who else could have managed to put the stickers on the wrong silver Honda Civic. And why did it have to happen now! I was already in trouble over the last thing and I didn't want to face the Security Chief again... not to mention the FBI maybe taking me out back and shooting me, just on grounds of stupidity. The parking lot nearly emptied and I walked my imaginary green mile to the outer guard shack. I walked in, and told the guard on duty 'he was looking at the stupidest man in the world'. The universe spared me however and he gave me another sticker and got the info from me on the car who now had new stickers. I never heard anything again on it.

When I was a teenager I was briefly in a couple of detention homes before I went to reform school. They seemed to think I was anorexic around that age because I was shy about eating with people watching me. Because of that in between the two homes they brought me to the emergency room for a check-up.

The funny part is when they asked me "what is the least you have ever weighed?" I said "7 pounds, 1 ounce." Even they thought it was funny.

An amendment to my story: I found a St. Louis Rams fan during KumoriCon, and I had my Seahawks jersey on. The Rams fan said it was "The worst combinatin ever!" Hard to argue that...... KumoriCon 2012, in essence to me, had become rivalry weekend.

Not really.

Plenty of sad ones though.

Okay, get ready to laugh:

I went down to the art museum one day and was enjoying a quiet stroll through the galleries, when I felt a need to use the facilities. I went down to where I remembered seeing them, in a hallway behind some glass doors. I pushed on the door but it wouldn't move, so I motioned to the guard and asked, "I need to use the restroom. Why is this door locked?" as I pushed again.

"I don't know," she replied. "Let me check with my supervisor."

She made a quick phone call, and soon a woman in a green blazer came in. The guard indicated me and said, "She wants to know why the door is locked."

The woman in the blazer shrugged, reached out and PULLED on the door handle....

Nice to see some people not afraid to share their embarrassing stories. I remember asking someone about there's and their response was they didn't have any, yeah right! One that sticks out in my mind was one sports day in school were I had to do multiple races on an assault course. I thought it was a good idea to drink coke in between races. At the end of the races lets just say, things got rather messy

There was also another time me and a friend went to KFC that was about a mile from his house. After we were done, we jumped over a short wall as a shortcut to prevent us the torture of having to walk around it. Anyway, as I did it I heard a rip and to no surprise I had ripped the crotch of my jeans. I then had to proceed to walk back hoping nobody looked at that area. Just as well they were a cheap pair. Thought I'd give 2 stories since they are quite short.

On a semi-related note about my stories; at AkiCon 2011 (a small anime con held in Bellevue, WA) I wore my Sam Bradford Rams jersey; there was a Seahawks fan and he was rather critical of my jersey. My thought was this:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfoPMtVn4dg[/youtube]

Yeah, to me, any con can be Rivalry Weekend.

Okay--funny story. I had to pass through the lobby at work just a few minutes ago and heard the receptionist and an HR assistant carrying on very loudly, then the receptionist screamed and ran behind her desk and cowered down. There was a little lizard who was trapped on the wrong side of the glass door and was trying to get out and the receptionist is terrified of lizards.

Guess what her name is!

Who knows what con I will attend next and what rivalry I will encounter....

Once, my stepdad asked me to hoover the floor, so I did, and when I was done, I asked if I should "send" the hoover back upstairs, when I meant to say "take" instead. So then my stepdad kept on telling it to go upstairs, and I found it funny.