Tell that i have aspergers on my dating profile?

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is it really a good idea that I tell people straight up front, in my dating website profile, that i have asperger's? my mom thinks i should now that I'm using it again so guys get the idea faster and in a way I agree, but i'm worried it's pushing it too far to do that. Who says yes to breaking the truth right away?

I think it's a bad idea. Even some people who would accept you probably don't really know anything about what Asperger's is like, and are too lazy to look it up, so they would just skip over your profile. Other people have the wrong idea and would just reject you.

I prefer to sort of indirectly tell people by letting them know what my personality is like in my profile. Since I don't like being around people, I would say that I am an introvert and don't make huge demands on people in my life rather than saying I have a personality disorder. There was one profile of an autistic person I saw, she showed a characteristic of Asperger's by typing a LOT about her special interest.

I was very interested in a guy I saw on a dating site. Talked to him a bit.. Eventually he mentioned that he had Asperger's,.... and it was like BOOM. Suddenly, my entire view of him just changed.

It was the weirdest feeling. I guess I had a lot of ideas in my mind on what autism was and they weren't positive things. I felt like maybe not even talking to him anymore, because I thought he wasn't the person I thought he was.
BUT, he wanted to get to know me and I felt bad at this point...
So, I saw him face-to-face and all of the bad feelings went away.
However, I still wondered about things and felt a little paranoid about his behavior since I knew...

I wouldn't recommend telling anyone until they know you VERY well or are confused by you. And if you really confuse them, you might not want to date them anyway.

Getting ignorant/uneducated people to weed themselves out is a good thing.

To not put the information out front is unfair, as many of us (like me), can appear entirely NT at first, but then as the dating progresses, it becomes more obvious that there are limitations or differences that can't be easily overcome. If at that point you come out about the Asperger's then he/she will feel deceived. If you don't say anything at all, he/she will just think you are weird or incapable of a relationship and probably choose to end it.

Let people know as soon as possible and then let them decide if a relationship with an Aspergian is something they want or at least can handle. Also, some people out there might prefer an Asperguy or Aspergirl and in that case, you will attract those looking for someone like you.

This is the reaction that many people will have if you put it on a dating site.

That said, I'm surprised that you had this reaction floating moon, since you yourself may have it too. Unless you'd never thought about it until you met him and that's what got the ball rolling as to you wondering whether you have Asperger's or not.

This is the reaction that many people will have if you put it on a dating site.[quote]

And this is exactly the same reason why I advise people that they SHOULD put in in a profile. Note: "Eventually he mentioned that he had Asperger's,.... and it was like BOOM." "Eventually" is the operative word. If Floating Moon was aware of the Asperger's from the start, then there would be no reason for a change in her views. She would have had this information from the start.

Last edited by dyingofpoetry on 06 Sep 2012, 2:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

If I would have known from the start, the false views I already had in my mind would have tainted the profile when I read it. I would have assumed a lot of things and not really have been able to help doing so. I may never have messaged him.

And yes, again-with-this, that was how I ended up thinking that maybe 'I' am autistic as well. See, I knew about the more severe cases of autism and I thought everyone that was autistic would do highly inappropriate things and not really care about people.

Like I said, I went ahead and talked to him face-to-face because I felt bad for showing interest and saying I'd talk to him only to feel turned off when he mentioned the asperger's...

So, I'm glad he didn't have any labels like that in his profile.

Theres a member that used to post on this section quite a bit called grisha.

He spent quite a while on dating sites and he didnt put aspergers on his profile.
It turned out that all females interested on him eventually stopped being so for no apparent reason.
He thought it may be because of aspie-ish things.and so he put it on his profile(he also tried to message them about what went wrong but if I recall correctly that didnt go very well). Apparently the number of replies lowered down but the quality of the conversation/dates he was getting improved a lot.

I guess that as most things in life its a risk that you may have to take in order to get what you are looking for.

In the case of complete morons, yes, but some people are just barely ignorant and can be more accepting with just a little effort. We all have our faults.

There is always a risk that some people will just be put off by the fact that you have aspergers or in my case a non verbal learning disability on your profile but would you really want to date someone like that. The issue is going to come up anyway. I did though do something a bit different this time. I found a video of a young woman on you tube whom has nvld talking about what it is rather than just link to some article about it on the web.

The risk of putting that on your profile is you might get 'tourists', people that will act like they have genuine interest in you but really only want to ridicule you or date you as a wager / funny experience.

I'm going to say no on this one. Its best to leave this piece of information for when you get to know someone better. Seeing someone say "Hi I'm Mike. (Insert lots of information here). I have aspergers. (Something else written). Message me". Feels like way too much information. Secondly, every girl I ever dated was concerned the second I revealed this piece of information to them... Including my girlfriend.

Furthermore... If they don't accept you as you are, they aren't going to accept aspergers anyway.

You could tell a "serious prospect" that you have Asperger's on a later date.

If you state you have Asperger's, probably at least 3/4's of any prospective respondent would just "turn the page" and ignore you.

I've tried both approaches, and so far...neither works for me. Maybe I'm just undateable.....

No, don´t do that. Let them get to know you first. Change peoples minds that way.