Picking up the phone can paralize me with fear

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I have been told I am an excellent speaker. Typically I am when there is a defined or pre-written conversation in my hand. But when I have to do things "on the fly" I have a lot of difficulty. My fear with the phone is that I will be asked a question I haven't prepared for and I will respond with something stupid or irrelevant, or I will freeze.

It's something I am working on, but I sure wish everything could be handled by email.

I concur.

Idem. While I can manage, and I've been told I'm good, it makes me sick, literally.

I'm not overly confident with face to face conversations but I'm generally ok on the phone as you don't have the eye contact to put you off so even if the person at the other end isn't totally happy with what I'm saying, because I can't see their reaction it's like it doesn't matter so doesn't bother me nearly as much. I use the phone for mainly administration type interactions eg ringing service providers so as I am the customer I see the onus to 'get things right' as being on the person I'm speaking to so don't generally feel any pressure to be perfect - if I have to make them wait while I think of or find the information they need that's fine as they are providing me with a service and it's their job to be polite and patient if they're doing it properly. Occasionally, if I've felt the person on the other hand is getting impatient with my responses being slower than normal or me needing more clarification of something, I might tell them I have Asperger's Syndrome and that it means I don't always understand or pick things up very quickly hence need more explanation - I've never had anyone give me a problem over this and in my opinion it's a way if saying 'I'm not stupid, I just need you to slow down and explain things in more depth'

Social conversations on the phone aren't as easy for me though as I tend to find it harder to articulate what I want to say when it covers as variety of subjects and there's pressure on me to say something socially interesting/make small talk which is a lot harder.

Becoming more at ease with using the phone comes with practice and it helps if you've done it in your job. My brain sees making and taking phone calls as a work-related thing and I seem go into 'work mode' and feel more confident about it.

I hated it throughout my life and it's NOT getting better with age and practice for me, just the opposite. For work i use a pager and at home simply disconnect the phone unless i would need it to make a call myself, what i take into consideration only in extreme emergencies, but nobody is ever going to bother me again. I wish it would never have been invented, that accursed f*****g part.

So do you feel more confident with face to face interactions than phone ones?

I've at times screwed up my life by avoiding phones.

Talking in person.. I can do
Email, I can do

The moment someone says 'please call to discuss' then the conversation is over. I *hate* phones.

Interesting as I'd say face to face interaction is far more stressful with having to look into peoples' eyes and deal with all their different expressions, which I can find very off-putting if less than positive or ambiguous. I can get easily side tracked from focusing on what what I'm talking about as my mind will start obsessing about what each expression really means. One to one interaction with a person I know well and like is better than phone interaction though as I see them as 'safe'.

No, face to face is as bad as phone. I communicate via email, snail mail, text messages, flash cards, and post--it notes, even in different colors.

The ring tone on my phone is the red alert sound from Star Trek for a reason.
Every time my phone rings I suddenly get nervous before I even see who it is. Don't pick up if I don't recognize the number. Even if it's a friend, I hesitate and try and guess what they're calling about. I think it's because I have no idea what the conversation may be about, so I can't prepare my thoughts before hand.

Flash cards? In what situations do you use flash cards and what is on the flash cards? Words or pictures?

I use them in stressful situations because i can't speak when i'm really stressed out. Then saying "please keep distance, i feel threatened and terrified if you come closer than arm's length" is simply impossible for me since i'm close to a meltdown then. I have difficulties with speaking even under best conditions, let alone when i get nervous or excited.

I have a horrible fear of the phone. Like others have mentioned, freezing up, avoiding calling or answering, needing to plan in advance, etc. It is a major problem for me and seems to get worse with age. I have similar issues talking in person, but it is generally more manageable. I have my wife deal with companies that need to talk to me, having her pre-authorized to speak for me in many cases. I wish more companies and government agencies were equipped to deal with customers via email as I communicate so much better in writing. Even thinking about it as I write this is making my chest tighten and my hands sweaty.

Last edited by Dixbee on 08 Sep 2012, 2:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm getting a lot better with the phone, but I still don't like it. For some reason I don't like anyone hearing me be on the phone. I had real difficulty when working in an open plan office and would avoid calling anyone which was really awkward.

Leaving messages on voice mail with other people listening is another thing people don't like to do but I'm ok at this now - I just talk as if I'm actually talking to someone. But I think having to make social small talk on a mobile phone in a public place like on a bus is my worst thing to have to do with a phone - I have a horror of people overhearing my inept attempts at phone-style social chat - I can never make it sound natural as it just isn't for me.

I hate when I see a job advertisement what says no other way to contact them but by telephone. I tend to avoid applying for the job. For a start most receptionists here in this part of the UK all seem to be foreign that can't understand what you're saying, and you find you have to keep repeating yourself until they hear you properly. And sometimes it gets frustrating when they ask you something 4 or 5 times and you still don't hear properly what they are asking, so you feel an idiot saying ''pardon?'' again, and in the end they snap at you. Also, my address is such an annoying address, because my house number is 80 and no matter how clearly you say it, people on the phone always think you're saying 18, so you've got to say 8-0. Then my post code is also awkward-sounding letters that people always get mixed up. And I just find it's all so difficult to apply over the phone, where as when it's all written down clearly on an email, it's much easier to read and copy down without any confusions or mistakes, and it's all done much quicker.

I don't know why all jobs can't be appliable through email. But, I don't know, I think I'd rather phone up than to have to walk into the actual place and give them your CV or pick up an application. I live in a place where young people are still very immature and shallow, and they giggle at you when you walk into their store to hand them a CV, no matter how presentable you are dressed and how friendly you appear. It's all very off-putting.