how scary it is to open up to people???

Post Reply New Topic

hi.. any1 else hav a hard time opening up to people/family/friends? its like o dont kno wot to say wen talkin bout my feeling or wot i think or feel.. it feels like im speaking another language and yrying to figure wots inside me is like figuring out Quantum physics! actually figuring out quantum physics would probably be easier haha..
also wen i do finally open up and talk its a huge Effort and im knackered afterwards.. any1 else kno wot im on about?
lookin 4ward to any replys!

ps, writing this post was also a struggle as iv nevr dun this b4..

It's extremely hard for me. I have only just started trying with some People. If I'm in actual emotional distress forget it. Only when the emotions have subsided and I've come to terms with the situation can I discuss it. I then only tell people if I really have to.

I can't see what it should be good for to share feelings or, as you put it, opening up. There were few occasions i tried to do it since i was asked for, but afterwards i felt worse than before not only because it left me vulnerable, but it seemed to dilute me feelings. I prefer to keep my emotional life strictly to myself.

When it comes to my deepest thoughts and troubles, I can only really discuss them if I currently feel relaxed with a clear mind. If not, I would rather not talk about things in great detail. I do find it draining if I'm preoccupied and have to stop and try to explain something.

^ This. I tend to have an inner life that's exceedingly high-maintenance.

Touche.

Keeping my emotional life to myself is definitely the one!

I don't like sharing my inner struggles for two reasons.
first of all it is really really hard for me to find the words to communicate what is going on in my head. I always have issues explaining things to people unless I have really thought it through. I can't coubd the number of times I have said, "that's what I just said." haha
also I had a friend a while back that was the closest friend I had ever had. He knew over the years I rarely let him into my internal struggles and this really hurt him. So I finally told him that I suffer from bipolar disorder. Nobody knew that! I also told him that I had been feeling extreamly suicidal and I didn't know what to do. All the color from life was drained. Joy and pleasure was gone. Life felt like an endless pointless marry ho round and the darkness clouding my mind was too much to handle. He flipped out and cut me out of his life. He claims he was scared that I was going to commit suicide in his house which was ridiculous. I have had timed like this before and I have always gotten through it. I thought maybe it would be easier to just have a friend by my side this time around. I didn't want sympathy or anything. I really would prefer not to talk about it. I just wanted to know that someone could know my deepest secret and still love me.
so now he is out of my life and I have a sweet caring person in my life who is extremely understanding, buy I can't bring myself to let him in. I fear that if he fully understands my multiple issues (even though I think I cope well, nobody would know unless I told them) he will think I'm nuts just like everyone else. Also I still find it difficult to express my pain or worries.
so I have decided that maybe it is a good thing to deal with my inner issues alone. That way when this person is out of my life I won't need them to cope. All I will need is myself. Just roll with the punches and keep moving I suppose.

I have always been separate from everybody else--afraid of people. I always seemed to be disconnected or misinterpreted or made fun of for being different. So I decided never to let people see the real me. I had one childhood friend, like a brother, who I let see the real me. He moved away when I was 14. I have not let anybody else get that close to me since then. The closest I get to opening up is with my therapist or in support groups like this. Even there, I hold back and I don't let people into my heart.

Btw, I get less and less willing to open up to people over time. It hurts too much. I can't really explain it. Maybe I don't like the grief that comes when relationships end. I feel like I have given something of myself away that I will never get back. I assume all relationships will end, and end badly because that is my experience with relationships. I end up pissing people off, hurting them, or make a fool of myself.

Very. Because the more information that is revealed, the easier it is for them to use it against you...........

No - I find it fun! I could go on for hours telling people how I feel. I also love it when other people talk or rant about how they're feeling, because I like to listen or contribute.

I also find it hard to hold it all in. If I am in a room with my mum or other close family and I have a major problem with something they're discussing or something like that, but it's an inappropriate time or place to express my thoughts or feelings about something, I feel really uncomfortable. It's like that desperate feeling you get when holding on to a full bladder. I feel like that when holding on to a negative emotion. I just have that bursting feeling of wanting to express my thoughts and feelings. It's OK when the emotion I am feeling is appropriate to open up to in the right environment, but if I'm not in the right environment to start rambling, then it is so hard to hold on to!

Does that mean I'm not on the spectrum?

Maybe feelings are a special interest of yours. I love to explore feelings because clinical psychology is a special interest of mine. However, I am very reticent to explore my feelings with people because of people using things against me in the past. I don't think it is safe to let people know the real me.

I don't like opening up to people as much as you do, Joe90, but I enjoy doing that sometimes. I often feel better if I talk about my feelings to a close friend or relative when I'm very upset, and I usually like it when a friend or family member tells me about their feelings.

For me it's very scary. It makes it hard for others to think they really are connecting but at the same time I need to protect myself. I've been hurt so many times I just won't let anyone in.