Complete rant...

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I am so flippen tired of NT parents bragging about their children and perfect grades or all the points they score in some sport. My very sweet 11yr old Aspie son is very intelligent but doesn't get perfect grades and isn't interested in sports. He struggles in school with behavior issues so he will likely not be a "Student of the Month" anytime soon. Yet he is creative, smart, and more computer savy that I will ever be...Every day he comes up with a new "inventions". The NT parents don't see those admirable qualities as important. I have to keep reminding myself that my son will have assistants and secretaries help him with mundane tasks when he is a grown up...
Sorry to get upset...

I keep trying to tell myself that DS will eventually be an adult and as long as I can keep childhood from leaving too many scars, he'll be ok.

It is nice that my son seems to have a reputation for being a brilliant and funny (albeit quirky) kid. Other parents are always talking him up to me. Teachers, too. And yet ... he never wins anything. No awards, no recognition of any kind. In middle school he could pull a perfect score on a national science test, but not an A in science class. Award times are always the most difficult emotionally for me; my son can run intellectual rings around some of those winners. But its like no one else really sees his gifts, no matter what they tell me to my face. Or those gifts get overlooked because they don't come with the right package of charm, confidence and assertiveness. Or maybe it isn't obvious to anyone else that he actually does work to his potential, and could use some positive feedback, too. I know how hard he works, how stressed he gets, how he has pushed himself. So much that is so easy for everyone else is a struggle for him. And he pulls it all together and is doing really cool things and impressing people around him. But never enough for formal recognition. So I get caught up in wondering if people really do see what I see in him, or if they tell me he's a great kid only because I'm his mom. I just want the world to see what I see, but I'm not sure it is capable of it.

I do love to use the line about him being the boss some day. But I'm not so sure that will happen, either. Of all the bright and successful nerds the world produces, only a fraction actually run companies. Most are valued employees, in fields where they are surrounded by similarly smart and successful nerds. Which will be fine, he'll be totally happy, he truly isn't interested in the business side of things.

Oh yes, Competive parenting, the most cut throat of all sports. I've opted out, we are all running our own races in my family.

Threads like this tell me why I shouldn't "brag" about my child so I don't. I do it on Facebook or to my husband or parents. I would also rather do it to other parents but I also know not all of them want to hear about my child so I only talk about him if they ask me about him. I treat it like how I treat my obsessions. Not talking about it.

Although I sometimes feel bad when other kids are bragged about, I try to see it almost as venting; you just accept it and decide to add your own brag or just affirm that parent. There is nothing wrong with any parent feeling good about their kids. Most kids, NT or AS, have weaknesses, so it's more of a relief to the parent when their child does something braggable.

There are a few that do all things well. The parent that knows that, and still brags - now that's a parental weakness. That shows extreme low self esteme in the parent if he/she is doing that.

To the OP, I would respond by bragging about how your son is creative, smart, or computer savy. Or just give the other parent room to brag. I think we all need it at times.

My son is super smart, light years ahead of his peers, I try not to compare or tell his friends parents what level he is on in schoolwork. When he got 2 awards in his last karate tournament you can be sure I was a bragging!! ! Maybe more a proud momma sharing her sons accomplishment then a brag. My son has it hard in karate. He is not coordinated, clumsy, and has to practice 5x as much as the ave kid, so when he placed 2nd in 2 events, it was MAJOR for him. All his very hard work paid off. And you can be sure he called everyone and told all his freinds about it, as did I!

Even our ASD kids have moments to shine with, and we need to run with them. I find my sons accomlishments much greater then a NT kids casue my kid had to overcome so much to accheive them, where otehr kids might have some of these things come naturally.

It is natural as a parent to want to brag or share your childs accomplishments. FOr our kids, we might have to look harder or our kids accomplishments might not seem that big in comparison to others, but to our kids they are HUGE!! !

My son is 3 and ASD. He also has communication delays. However, I brag about him every chance I get. In fact, I brag about all my kids. The other day I was bragging about my 3 yo son getting up in the night, using the bathroom, and going back to bed. People are funny, when they see the pride you take in your child's achivements, it rubs off on them and they begin to see your child as special as you see them.

I am the parent who will probably annoy you, bragging about my son going to school without tears. Those are big accomplishments for my son and anything he is able to accomplish, I plan to share it with the world. I will probably calm down some when he is older and tells me to stop. Until then, I am so proud of my little bug, I want the whole world to know it.

Grades and awards aren't really all that important. I think lack of recognition for achievements is probably a good thing in my book, certainly formed a big part of my "stand back - watch me do it" attitude I have towards life today.

I left school without any grades or awards. I knew I had no hope of employment and I just happen to be in a band at the time. I playing gigs for free at some local clubs and pubs when I learned I could rent out the entire lower club for £45 for the night, providing I could generate a certain number of people at the bar buying drinks. The free gigs I was playing had already established a crowd of about 80 and it had a licensed capacity of 400 so I set up an entertainment business, got more bands to play to make a full night of it and charged £3 to get in. I put on the gig every Thursday and Saturday and within a few months it had exceeded the clubs capacity and had an extra 100 standing outside waiting to get in. Best part was, the mugs waiting outside trying to pay me to get into what was a free club were my NT counterparts that had labelled me the "ret*d kid" in school. I left it when it got to a capacity of 1200 because I always wanted to go to university, but it paid my uni fees.

So yeah, they may have had all the awards and recognition, but many of them can still be found stocking the shelf's at the local super market.

All of those above comments make me smile, I love hearing about other people's kids too and I talk about the good things mine have done. I took this topic as talking about a different kind of parent. Not the kind who is proud of what their child has overcome, not the kind who tells funny or cute stories about their children that have us all laughing. Not the parents of those kids who worked really hard to achieve something. Not the parents who talk about the good and not so good of their kids.
There are parents though who non stop talk only about the good things their kids do, as if no child has ever been as gifted at anything as theirs. There is one mum who was telling me last year how her 18 month old had just been toilet trained, I get she was proud... but she obviously forgot my 12 yr old (at the time) wasn't and that I'd only been talking with her about it not long before. She wasn't telling me to give me tips, she wanted me to know how smart she was... like she does every time she talks about her ...um thanks. So there's a brag, which I think we can all appreciate and then there's a brag.

Miss-Understood and OP, yes there are those parents. You can't let them get to you. Their kids aren't as smart as they say - remember, they aren't listing their child's struggles. These parents are blinded by their own lives, have internal struggles we don't know about, and are not capable of compassion for you. You don't know what horrible things may be lurking in their pasts that they have such low self esteeem. And some parents just find life easy, have never struggled, and therefore can't have compassion on those who do. Don't expect anything of them and don't let them get to you! These are signs of weak parents.

I've seen NT kids who were potty trained at 18 months old. Checked them a year later and they were potty training again. It takes great effort to keep a baby potty trained through the toddler and even pre-school years. The parent doesn't know that. Let them gloat for now!

Here's another one - "My (NT) child can read at age 3." That's great, but it doesn't matter in the long run. After a certain grade (forgot which) the whole class will be reading for knowledge. (Remember I'm talking about NTs, not our AS kids who are often brilliant in some areas, and behind in others.)

My NT girl could read very well at age 4 because she was interested, and I was proud interiorly. But her IQ is only slightly above average. My AS son has a very high IQ and struggles so much due to slow processing.

Anyway, those unreasonably proud parents will get their payback at some time, and I cringe at the thought.