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NextDoorLunatic
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25 Sep 2012, 7:42 am

So the thing is - I never had a boyfriend and I don't go to parties all that often. I found a lot of advice on flirting and approaching girld for guys, but I think there's a different strategy applying for girls.

There are some guys I met who might have been interested in getting to know me at first... but that was it. I don't consider myself beautiful, but I take good care of myself and make sure I look decent when leaving the house. And, as I said, I sometimes get approached and a guy starts a conversation - and I totally blow it.

I drink at parties, but not that much. Alcohol makes me less shy and I have an easier time fitting in with people. Yet I haven't figured out how to do proper small talk yet so I eventually just talk about stuff I like and everything gets so weird and out of hand... it's frustrating.
There was a guy whom I really liked for, like, two years and I could joke with him and have fun (and a friend of mine pointed out how we would make a cool couple) but I never knew when or how to leave the fun-level of conversation and just... move forward. He bought me a drink at my prom and we sometimes hung out, talked and just had lots of fun...

I don't know what the 'next step' to a relationship would be and whenever somebody likes me it'slike we're stuck at being casual friends.

So how do girls flirt without coming across as an easy lay or a creep?

It's not like I'm craving for a relationship or anything... but I'm 19 years old and everybody else has figured it out. I would like to find somebody who shares interests, humour and such with me and be more than jsut friends. :/



Wolfheart
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25 Sep 2012, 11:12 am

You might get a better amount of responses in the women's discussion area.



izzeme
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25 Sep 2012, 1:06 pm

actually, those "how to approach a girl for guys" will likely be more effective then looking for advise on how a girl should flirt (if you want a neurotypical guy that is).
at least, i found out that the reverse is true for me:
this is becouse the advise on how you should flirt is for concious flirting, aimed at NT women, ones that already have the natural skills and want to spice them up a bit.
however, the lists for guys that tell them "how to know if a girl is flirting" are more helpful; those list the natural, subconcious signals most women give out, and those are the ones you will have to learn first, before moving on to 'advanced' skills



RightGalaxy
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25 Sep 2012, 1:48 pm

DO NOT go with an NT guy - you'll be sorry. We aspies simply don't have the skills to deal with NT's at all less alone in a relationship. I shudder to think of it! The fact that you're not wearing an engagaement ring or wedding band is about all a girl has to do to flirt. Jewelry of commitment tells the world whether you're taken or not.

Here's you:

It's not like I'm craving for a relationship or anything... but I'm 19 years old and everybody else has figured it out. I would like to find somebody who shares interests, humour and such with me and be more than jsut friends. :/

What a paradox!! Are you ashamed to want a relationship? More than just friends means just that - you want a relationship!! Don't flirt with guys - forget it! Join clubs that have to do with your interests - I'll bet there will be aspie guys in them. You can try to meet someone here but be VERY careful!!



Palindrome5
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25 Sep 2012, 6:42 pm

The problem is all you're doing is talking to the guy. Flirting is physical too. Get a little touchy-feely with a guy you like and he'll get the message.



curlyfry
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25 Sep 2012, 7:49 pm

Practice socializing first. When your comfortable talking it gives you more confidence to control where you want things to go. If you just flirt and don't have the self esteem to handle the advancements you could get yourself into trouble.