Wiping problems

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This is all going to be TMI, btw, but I know I am not the only one in this boat, so I will share.

My daughter is about to turn 7. She still doesn't wipe herself. It drives me nuts and is unhygienic and...well...I am tired of doing it for her. Sorry. But that is the truth. If she has a bowel movement at school...well...you can imagine what happens when there is no one there to wipe her. It's gross.

Anyway, that is not the purpose of my post. The purpose is I think I have figured out what the "problem" is. She balls up the toilet paper too tightly before she wipes. So there is no way that it can extend past her fingertips.

I am going to work with her to fold the toilet paper loosely instead of balling it up and see if that helps.

Wish me luck! LOL!

My son had the same problems! He would wad up so much toilet paper and achieve very little result except to waste more and more paper with very little actual wiping. A teacher actually came up with a solution that helped us. She kept flushable bathroom wipes available at school and that's what we started doing at home as well.

Good Luck!

I second the wet flushable toddler wipes. For my DS, the problem was that he wouldn't get the paper or wipe "way up in there". After much coaching he finally got it. I used to literally stand there and talk him through each wipe. We also used a hand mirror to check when he thought he was done. It's a huge hassle, but you'll get there!

My daughter has a similar problem, she has trained herself to only go when shes at home though lol so Im always there to help her, joy! She was also doing it wrong, she would only use 1 sheet, I told her she should use more like 3 then she would wipe 3 times with a single sheet! So I explained I meant 3 together in one wipe so its thicker, so she rips 3 individual sheets off I think she thought as they have the perferations for single sheets she had to seperate them out, so I then explained you can just pull 3 out and keep them attached then fold...... finally we got there!! She also has wet wipes to help and we have explained that she needs to wipe until the tissue is clean and she seems to get this as she will use any excuse to get a good look at what shes done! We were washing 2 pairs of knickers a day before that! She was only 4 though so it wasnt too unusual.

Maybe you need to go back to the beginning and explain exactly how to do it while standing there and making sure she does it right. Could she take a small amount of wet wipes in her bag, perhaps facial wipes would be more discreet. Its not easy when they are old enough to feel embarrassment and want to do it themselves but cant

Dont feel bad to ask this! It is a mager problem and for some reason I cant understand why the OT's don't address this, because its part of daily activities!! !???

It can also be that your daughter struggles with spatial relations and motor planning!?

My son turned 9 now and then I realized I need to brake the activity down to basic visual steps! He also had a fear of the poo touching his hand, so wipes and disposible latex gloves solved this problem, until he became more confident!

It also helped when I told him he can wipe to the front, because then he can see what he is doing....but I know this might cause infection with girls! But it helped him! Even if you have to use a mirror to show her what's going on " down there"....I know this sounds embarresing, but its better than smelling bad!

Dont give up.....I am sure this will get better! I am still helping my son! But we also started to let him wash his own undies, with gloves and soap when accidents happen!

Don't feel too bad. We are dealing with a multiple wiping issues here.

My NT 6 yo son balls up the tissue to. Lucky for us, when he does #2, there is never much to wipe. I have shown him how to fold the toilet paper and he will do it correctly sometimes. But if he is in a hurry, he wipes just his but cheek.

My ASD 3 yo son has started wiping both ends (I have no idea why he picked that up). It's so gross when he "misses" when he wipes after #2. If he tries to wipe after doing #1 and I catch him and stop him, he still wants to put a piece of tissue in the toilet, even if he has to wipe his hip.

My 1 yo NT daughter likes to wipe when she is fully clothed. She will stand up and bend at the waist to look through her legs. Resting her head on the ground, she will then wipe her diaper/pants.

I have seven year old, and he will wipe, but not enough to consistently avoid "skid marks" or rashes. Some of it is he doesn't want to take extra time away from what he is doing. That was why we had so many problems getting him trained for #2, in the first place. I also tell him to wipe until he can't see anything on the paper, but it is a process. He doesn't like the rashes or the dirty underpants, so I am kind of hoping that will motivate him. We did not have the problem over the summer. Now that it is school time, I think he wants to maximize his leisure time at home by taking shortcuts.

My 5 yo daughter also has issues in this dept. Most of the time she gets distracted and flat out forgets to do it. Then when she does remember or I remind her, she balls it up and then just scrubs with it. Gross. She never wipes at school.

I've shown her multiple times how to do it but she forgets. It's something we are working on.

I like the idea with the wipes. I'm going to send a pack to her school and see if it helps. I've also started rewarding her for "wiping, flushing, turning off the lights"

See? I knew I wouldn't be alone! LOL!

She is doing much better when I "prepare" the toilet paper for her. But she still hasn't been able to avoid the tightly wadded ball of paper on her own. Small steps, right?

My grandson had this issue but only at school. He had flushable wipes at home. Also, he hadn't been 'told' that it was okay to have a bm at school and wasn't too sure what to do. Sooooooo, my son took 3 flushable wipes and put them in a baggie in the bookbag. This way, (now that he knows he is allowed to go at school), he has the flushable wipes to use. The kinds of tricks we have to think of to deal with life's everyday issues!

Yes, you are not alone! My 7 yr old boy is starting to learn, but we are definitely not there yet. He too has trained himself to not go at school. He does have motor planning issues, so I knew this was going to take awhile, so I am trying to break it down in baby steps. He is now able to bend at the knees and do one wipe, but he does it real quickly, and most of the time doesn't get deep enough in there. I like the idea of the disposable wipes, but unfortunately, my son HATES baby wipes. He cannot stand them when someone wants to try and wipe his hands with them. I really want to work on this because I don't want to be wiping a 10 yr old boys bottom.

How about teaching your child to use water & paper towel, instead of toilet paper, to clean himself / herself after a bowel movement ? The child could collect a paper towel, and water in a disposable cup, then once done with their business, could clean themselves with the water, and dry using the paper towel.

Just a thought.

hismom- main issue there would be disposal of paper towel. paper towels are not a good thing to flush. They clog the pipes very easily and over a long time span,, even if they dont immediately cause a plug, can accumulate and cause a bigger problem.