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Mirror21
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09 Oct 2012, 5:31 pm

I thought this article was very interesting and wanted to share it in here. I would appreciate thoughts on it. I am weary sometimes to just accept information in the internet, but most of what the author describes I can definitely relate to, especially the sections on eye contact and friendships.

http://www.squidoo.com/coping_with_Aspergers



ShamelessGit
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09 Oct 2012, 6:40 pm

I think that's a good article



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09 Oct 2012, 7:22 pm

I difficulty reading articles about ASD. Can someone summarize it for me.



Vomelche
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09 Oct 2012, 7:53 pm

Good article. This part rang true for me, trying to join a local autism group:

Workshops, groups, and classes given titles like "Living with Autism" or "Coping with Asperger's" are almost always 100% material for caregivers and relatives of autistic people. From the descriptions of such offerings one often finds that autistic people are not welcome to attend. Workshops and classes for autistic adults seem to be nearly non-existent. It's as if groups, classes, and workshops for diabetic people excluded all people with diabetes!



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10 Oct 2012, 3:10 am

Vomelche wrote:
Good article. This part rang true for me, trying to join a local autism group:

Workshops, groups, and classes given titles like "Living with Autism" or "Coping with Asperger's" are almost always 100% material for caregivers and relatives of autistic people. From the descriptions of such offerings one often finds that autistic people are not welcome to attend. Workshops and classes for autistic adults seem to be nearly non-existent. It's as if groups, classes, and workshops for diabetic people excluded all people with diabetes!
This is because nobody, in their heart of hearts, actually wants to be around people with ASD, least of all people with ASD.



Mirror21
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10 Oct 2012, 3:47 am

Quote:
Friendships are so hard because no one wants to admit that there are rules, that there are expectations, or that there are conventions for friendship.


What do you guys think of this statement? I have always felt that something of the sort had to be true. And if so, I wonder why it is so hard for people to accept and modify such expectations?



outofplace
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10 Oct 2012, 3:55 am

Mirror21 wrote:
Quote:
Friendships are so hard because no one wants to admit that there are rules, that there are expectations, or that there are conventions for friendship.


What do you guys think of this statement? I have always felt that something of the sort had to be true. And if so, I wonder why it is so hard for people to accept and modify such expectations?


I agree with it, but the rules vary. They vary by the individuals involved in the friendship and what they expect and can tolerate. It's something you have to "feel" out over time. There are also rules of reciprocity. In order to get, you need to give. In male relationships, this is usually a practical matter. For example, a friend of mine was shoveling gravel and another mutual friend was at his house but refused to help the first person. Well, the second person then needed help with fixing their car and the guy who was shoveling gravel refused to help him because he had violated the law of reciprocity. Years later, while never mentioned to the person who violated the rules, it is still brought up in conversations with me as a reason I should be wary of the guy who refused to pick up a shovel (along with other examples of promises broken, help not given). A lot of little issues someone may have with you can be reasoned away by them if you are a person who gives of their time selflessly. This is actually how most of my friendships come about. I offer to help people.


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Aspie quiz: 143/200 AS, 81/200 NT; AQ 43; "eyes" 17/39, EQ/SQ 21/51 BAPQ: Autistic/BAP- You scored 92 aloof, 111 rigid and 103 pragmatic


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10 Oct 2012, 9:18 pm

Female wrote:
Vomelche wrote:
Good article. This part rang true for me, trying to join a local autism group:

Workshops, groups, and classes given titles like "Living with Autism" or "Coping with Asperger's" are almost always 100% material for caregivers and relatives of autistic people. From the descriptions of such offerings one often finds that autistic people are not welcome to attend. Workshops and classes for autistic adults seem to be nearly non-existent. It's as if groups, classes, and workshops for diabetic people excluded all people with diabetes!
This is because nobody, in their heart of hearts, actually wants to be around people with ASD, least of all people with ASD.


+ 1


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Mirror21
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11 Oct 2012, 12:20 am

outofplace wrote:
Mirror21 wrote:
Quote:
Friendships are so hard because no one wants to admit that there are rules, that there are expectations, or that there are conventions for friendship.


What do you guys think of this statement? I have always felt that something of the sort had to be true. And if so, I wonder why it is so hard for people to accept and modify such expectations?


I agree with it, but the rules vary. They vary by the individuals involved in the friendship and what they expect and can tolerate. It's something you have to "feel" out over time.


And that is the problem! I LACK that sort of compass that I could use to figure out what exactly is expected and usually by the time I figure it out its because it is being screamed at me as they flee out the door. What is worse being female people expect me to be a lot more social-savvy than I am.

I do not have enough appendages to count how many times I have been told "you are a woman I expected more of you!"