Anyone living the sheltered life?
KarateKetchup
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 25 Feb 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 31
Location: I'm so handsome I'm everywhere~
Life is so easy for me, I stay at home all day, I don't have a job, my family is often gone. Sadly it became too easy that I've been feeling really down and unpreductive because of it. I've lived like this nearly my whole life and there is nothing I can do about it because I can't drive not do I have a job, so I can't go hang out with anyone. I have my online friends, but I can't even see them in person. Especially when I'm sad. I've began to develop bad habits such as doing nothing or suicidal thoughts. I ranting to everyone more than ever and I feel like everybody is starting to like me less. My family is doing what they can to help me despite having busy lives, but I think I'm gonna break. So is there anyone who is also dealing with something like this? ><
Everything you just mentioned sounds exactly like me..I'm exactly the same way..except I do drive but my sister usually takes my car to work so i like never have it. Wow today i thought i was alone in this. I'm so glad u posted and asked if anyone else was in the same situation..Like u i have been feeling very depressed myself and have suicidal thoughts and just want to die. Also whenever anyone asks me what i wanna do in life or where i see myself in 5 years i just cant give them an answer becus i feel so down and nothing interests me and i cant stand bein around people for very long. But i do get lonely and want connections sometimes but usually with my siblings and thats it. I also tend to sleep ALOT cus there is nothin else to do. Do u find yurself sleeping alot as well? Have u ever had a job or want to get one? I often feel like you to when u say that u feel like your going to break..thanks for sharing n would like to keep in touch with u.
Bored? Try reading the following book which I linked to below. I'm not religious so I just peruse it for its historical benefit. The book is called Martyrs Mirror, BTW.
Martyrs Mirror
_________________
One Day At A Time.
His first book: http://www.amazon.com/Wetland-Other-Sto ... B00E0NVTL2
His second book: https://www.amazon.com/COMMONER-VAGABON ... oks&sr=1-2
His blog: http://seattlewordsmith.wordpress.com/
KarateKetchup
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 25 Feb 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 31
Location: I'm so handsome I'm everywhere~
Everything you just mentioned sounds exactly like me..I'm exactly the same way..except I do drive but my sister usually takes my car to work so i like never have it. Wow today i thought i was alone in this. I'm so glad u posted and asked if anyone else was in the same situation..Like u i have been feeling very depressed myself and have suicidal thoughts and just want to die. Also whenever anyone asks me what i wanna do in life or where i see myself in 5 years i just cant give them an answer becus i feel so down and nothing interests me and i cant stand bein around people for very long. But i do get lonely and want connections sometimes but usually with my siblings and thats it. I also tend to sleep ALOT cus there is nothin else to do. Do u find yurself sleeping alot as well? Have u ever had a job or want to get one? I often feel like you to when u say that u feel like your going to break..thanks for sharing n would like to keep in touch with u.
Hehe, I'm glad I made this post to look for people and you read this :3c my sleeping pattern really varies. And I tried voulenteering for a short time too a few years ago. So what messaging programs do you use?
And redrobin62, im also not religious, but I'll maybe I'll read that o:
Yes, I've been like this a long time. I had a traumatic childhood that took me a long time to get over. I was angry, miserable and hateful.
I am very reclusive, and still fight it. Just last week I had trouble being in a group and walked out in the middle of a class.
There's a world out there and I love it. Unfortunately, there are people to ruin it. I don't like most people, cause my standards are pretty high. I expect courtesy, but am disappointed. That's mostly what sets me back. But ya gotta fight it. Ignore they are there...
I've had my own apartment for almost 3 years, and I totally enjoy being alone, (if the neighbors would just shut up, I hate noise) though I wish I had someone my age to do fun things with. Who bowls alone? Even then, it's hard to find someone who is truly trustworthy.
I'm on disability/SSI and I can pretty much do what I want. For so long, I sat on my butt doing nothing. Sitting and staring at a computer, gaming to escape my problems and the world. I was smoking pot and drinking recklessly to bury my problems, but they end up coming out no matter what. And that is where suicidal thoughts come in. It's an escape and you wanna run away instead of fighting.
I finally said, enough is enough. I got tired of it and I'm breaking out of my old habits by going to the gym/swimming several times a week. I don't drive either, I walk or take the bus. I was afraid of being on a bus for so long, and you know what it's not so bad. I changed up my eating habits and did a lot of soul searching. Basically, I'm searching for hobbies that interest me, setting goals and trying to improve myself instead of waiting for it to come to me (cause it never does). Action makes motivation! You can't wait for motivation... I recommend picking up Yoga and meditating or something to calm you down.
You're unhappy cause you probably feel like you do not have a purpose. Better start searching for something while you are young. Life is fleeting and is exciting if you just try to pursue what you want. There will always be obstacles, but you know the saying, get back on the horse if he kicks you off.
Believe me, I struggle with this every day. I'm a bad perfectionist with a failure cloud looming over my head. On top of being philosophical and searching for the truth and the real meaning of life. The meaning of life is to make meaning in your life. Live in the light. Become your own best friend, then you wont feel so unhappy. Love all, trust few. Search for Zen! Go take a long walk with nature and focus on breathing, you'll feel much better. It's a gorgeous day here... I might do that. xD
Take time to be with yourself. I know we are with ourselves all the time, but do we really take time to nurture ourselves?
This site is pretty nice btw, I know not everyone's into this stuff, but even so it's realllly healthy.
http://zenhabits.net/start/
especially:
http://zenhabits.net/get-off-your-butt- ... n-a-slump/
Everything you just mentioned sounds exactly like me..I'm exactly the same way..except I do drive but my sister usually takes my car to work so i like never have it. Wow today i thought i was alone in this. I'm so glad u posted and asked if anyone else was in the same situation..Like u i have been feeling very depressed myself and have suicidal thoughts and just want to die. Also whenever anyone asks me what i wanna do in life or where i see myself in 5 years i just cant give them an answer becus i feel so down and nothing interests me and i cant stand bein around people for very long. But i do get lonely and want connections sometimes but usually with my siblings and thats it. I also tend to sleep ALOT cus there is nothin else to do. Do u find yurself sleeping alot as well? Have u ever had a job or want to get one? I often feel like you to when u say that u feel like your going to break..thanks for sharing n would like to keep in touch with u.
Hehe, I'm glad I made this post to look for people and you read this :3c my sleeping pattern really varies. And I tried voulenteering for a short time too a few years ago. So what messaging programs do you use?
And redrobin62, im also not religious, but I'll maybe I'll read that o:
yea im glad i came across yur post. I have msn i will send u my email address and u can add me if u like and maybe get a chance to chat.
I'm living like this, too. I'm on disability and I have no reason to leave the house, so I don't. I go through life studying and reading and such behavior is looked down upon where I live. I don't need the likes of other people judging me, so I stay away from them. I don't mind my life, though. There is no one here I can relate to. I have online friends to talk to, so I'm not completely isolated.
WhoKnowsWhy
Snowy Owl
Joined: 27 Jul 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 132
Location: Virginia, United States
VAGraduateStudent
Deinonychus
Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 340
Location: Virginia, USA
I've heard this story a lot from young adults on the spectrum. On WP, from people in person, and in academic papers. It's basically a pretty severe depression, if you just want to look at it in simple terms. You're probably not going to feel like doing anything because you're too depressed to feel motivated. It's like if you get sick and then you feel too nauseous to eat but what you need to do to cure the nausea is eat.
Like the other posters said, you need to get out and do something, whether or not you feel like it. Once you start to feel a little better, you should be able to find something to do with yourself that is interesting to you and then you'll have a purpose to your life (like someone else said).
It can help to go to a doctor and get on some antidepressants, but this is a serious step because if you stop taking them later you'll have withdrawal symptoms. I know someone with AS who got on an antidepressant which doubles as an antianxiety medication. This helped him tolerate things that were previously really hampering his well-being. He seems to be much happier now. If you're having suicidal thoughts this might be a good option.
Usually the way I hear this story work out is that the depressed person tries out some social things, they don't work out, but then out of the things that don't work out he or she finds something that DOES work out and is his or her "thing." Then the person is more or less okay. So maybe if you're depressed you could just try some different things out and if they don't work out, just keep trying until you find something you like.
This is similar to what I'm going through at the moment. I left school as soon as I could then proceeded to do 3 years of college (which I scraped by in for different reasons) then a brief spell at university before I left. During those 2-3 months at university it really hit home that this isn't what I want to pursue in life and I just felt burned out and low after all my years in education with very little to show for it in terms of social connections and academic success.
Its been almost a year now and I don't feel much closer to discovering what I should be doing with my life and felt like most of this time has been rather unproductive. I don't feel limited in my abilities to the point I can't leave my house like some of you experience here. So it does frustrate me feeling like I could have something to offer in the working world in some capacity but having no idea what area that would be in. I've applied for volunteering a short while ago, which I should be hearing back from any day now. Hopefully that can edge me a bit closer into knowing where my future lies.
But this time were I've been idle has helped me grow as an independent person. Spending so much time without socializing while still feeling content made me realize that I really don't require friends or trying to please other people. The end result is usually the same regardless of the levels of efforts I make, so why hold so much value in it? Its lead me to going out and doing things on my own, something I wouldn't have been comfortable doing before. It still isn't easy by any means, but as RageHQ rightly said, you can't wait for motivation. Pushing yourself to do certain things is tough, but the potential reward for doing so can make it all worthwhile.
SoftKitty
Veteran
Joined: 10 Oct 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 581
Location: Prague, Czech republic
As I grow older, I start feeling more and more like you described. I am so afraid of another dissapointment in the social relationships area, that it´s a great problem for me to get out of my house and try to start any kind of a relationship.
_________________
-"Do you expect me to talk?"
-"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!"
I'm in kind of the same rut, right now, myself. I'm not depressed or anything, though, since I started on Adderall and Celexa about a year ago, but my life is certainly mundane and boring right now.
I've been actively searching for a job for the past several months, now, and I've applied to at least a dozen places, been granted two interviews, and still haven't gotten a job. The fact that I don't drive doesn't help the situation, either. I still live with my parents, but I do all my own grocery shopping (on my bike) and I volunteer a couple of times a week, but that's it. I don't have any real friends here, since I'm not going to college and I don't have a job. Not that I've been any good at making friends in college or at work, though; I went to tow different commuter schools, and was under-employed when I was still working at least a part-time position. I don't hear from my old friends very often, either; whether its via text, phone, email, or social media- they all have their own busy schedules, now. The few friends I've made online in the past several years have started to drift away, too. They're all getting ready to graduate high school or college, or are about to get full-time jobs somewhere.
In all honesty, I haven't had any real friends or meaningful social interactions since I graduated high school back in June 2009...
I'm in the process of applying for unemployment benefits and SSI, but due to my extensive medical history, it's taking a long time to gather up all the information they need, and I know it's going to be a long time before my case is reviewed; and even longer before (read: if) it's approved. Being fully employable, but still being unemployed, and still living with your parents sucks. It's the boredom that's getting to me the most, I think.
_________________
It takes a village to raise an idiot, but it only takes one idiot to raze a village.
I have a job and I drive but I barely leave the house except for work or when I have errands to run. I have no social life.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
I led a rather sheltered childhood, similar to what you describe, I only went to school or places with my parents, I wasn't into doing things with friends, and I didn't drive until I was 18. I was never very adventurous. Really the biggest adventure of my life was my career, and that wasn't anything spectacular. I'm living a sheltered life now, since retirement, because I don't have much money or a reliable car.
I prefer being at home, and it doesn't usually depress me, though I can see why it could affect someone that way. One can feel stuck or stagnant. That's not good.
Some things that help me are my creative pursuits. When I'm making something, whether it be cooking, artwork, knitting, gardening, etc., I don't feel useless. When I just sit at the computer all day, or when I used to watch TV too much (I don't watch at all for the past few years), I start to get depressed. I also get more satisfaction if I'm doing something for someone else, or cleaning house, somehow contributing to the improved state of things. I also have pets, and they give me a lot of joy and love. I consider them a big responsibility, as they depend on me for their well-being, and I take that very seriously. Taking good care of them gives me a lot of satisfaction.
I think what we put into life that's positive or constructive improves what we get out of it.
Maybe there's something you could do around the house to feel more useful or creative, or a class you could take - some are available online - to learn a skill - that would help you feel better about you. Do you have special interests?
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