Problems with talking to girls
I've throughout my entire life had trouble talking to girls. Early in my life it was all girls, but I've gotten past that. Up until recently I was almost completely unable to talk to a girl I 'liked'. In the past year that's gotten better too and I'm usually ok with conversation. My problem now arises from talking to girls I like beyond normal conversation.
I've wanted to ask out a girl for ~2-3 weeks now but every time I think I will I just continue walking past her like that was my original plan because I get too scared and forget what to say. I wouldn't say I'm good friends with this girl but I'm friendlier around her than most people I know (so just friends I guess, NTs seem to use that word freely so I'm sure thats what she would call me). I can keep up a normal conversation but can't ask her out.
What would/will it take to fix this problem? I don't know if its fear of rejection or something else but at this point I don't care of she says "no" because then I atleast know what her answer would be(of course I still want a "yes" but I'm getting annoyed with myself).
Just ask her out, Simple as that even if your stammering, choking on your tongue and turning blue, Just ask her out. Better to try and fail than to never try at all. Think about it, If you ask her out and she says yes, Then congrats. If you ask her out and she says no, You'll be gutted but you've done it. You made the attempt and it'll be easier for the next girl because you know it won't be the end of the world.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 56 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 144 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
AngelKnight
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Joined: 3 May 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 749
Location: This is not my home; I'm just passing through
Just ask her out, Simple as that even if your stammering, choking on your tongue and turning blue, Just ask her out. Better to try and fail than to never try at all. Think about it, If you ask her out and she says yes, Then congrats. If you ask her out and she says no, You'll be gutted but you've done it. You made the attempt and it'll be easier for the next girl because you know it won't be the end of the world.
Another bit from this: If you ask and she's said, "no," well, then you know. "What if she says..." tend to be the hardest part of all of this. It all changes when it becomes "she said ...". For most people, that's how fear of the unknown works.
ELEPHUNK
well I know I've always had um trouble with my mother
and I know I've always had trouble with... with, you know, girls
and ah I know I've always had trouble just eergh socially, you know, generally
b'an um I know I've had a lot of trouble with my food
but I've got my wash hose, I've got my wash hose
and I can do Elephunk
I can do Elephunk
I can do Elephunk
yeah I know I've had trouble with my mother
and I know I've had trouble with girls
and I and I know I've had trouble with my neighbour
I know I have my prob... you know... I.. I.. I.. I.. I know I have
my m.. m.. my aah I.. I.. I know but I've got my wash hose
heh heh I've got my wash hose
and I know I've got my wash hose
and I can do Elephunk
(snigger) yeahI can do Elephunk
I can do Elephunk
i sometimes get laryngitis, and i find it hard to talk to anyone during the time i have it.
i find girls easy to talk to as long as i have a viable voice.
most girls think in a way that i like, and so i can talk to them when i want to which is not very often i am sorry to report.
i can always talk when i need to , but i do not often feel a desire to talk to people without invitation.
WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,145
Location: California, United States
I've wanted to ask out a girl for ~2-3 weeks now but every time I think I will I just continue walking past her like that was my original plan because I get too scared and forget what to say. I wouldn't say I'm good friends with this girl but I'm friendlier around her than most people I know (so just friends I guess, NTs seem to use that word freely so I'm sure thats what she would call me). I can keep up a normal conversation but can't ask her out.
What would/will it take to fix this problem? I don't know if its fear of rejection or something else but at this point I don't care of she says "no" because then I atleast know what her answer would be(of course I still want a "yes" but I'm getting annoyed with myself).
hate how we guys always have to initiate the conversation
I've wanted to ask out a girl for ~2-3 weeks now but every time I think I will I just continue walking past her like that was my original plan because I get too scared and forget what to say. I wouldn't say I'm good friends with this girl but I'm friendlier around her than most people I know (so just friends I guess, NTs seem to use that word freely so I'm sure thats what she would call me). I can keep up a normal conversation but can't ask her out.
What would/will it take to fix this problem? I don't know if its fear of rejection or something else but at this point I don't care of she says "no" because then I atleast know what her answer would be(of course I still want a "yes" but I'm getting annoyed with myself).
hate how we guys always have to initiate the conversation
Yeah I really don't like it either. But it's not too hard for me. I can go up to women and start talking to them. In safe enivorment of course.
WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,145
Location: California, United States
I've wanted to ask out a girl for ~2-3 weeks now but every time I think I will I just continue walking past her like that was my original plan because I get too scared and forget what to say. I wouldn't say I'm good friends with this girl but I'm friendlier around her than most people I know (so just friends I guess, NTs seem to use that word freely so I'm sure thats what she would call me). I can keep up a normal conversation but can't ask her out.
What would/will it take to fix this problem? I don't know if its fear of rejection or something else but at this point I don't care of she says "no" because then I atleast know what her answer would be(of course I still want a "yes" but I'm getting annoyed with myself).
hate how we guys always have to initiate the conversation
Yeah I really don't like it either. But it's not too hard for me. I can go up to women and start talking to them. In safe enivorment of course.
yeah well most of the time, it's rare when a girl is alone, even if she is alone, there are gonna be a lot of people in the surroundings, i prefer private settings, that way if i screw up, nobody else saw it
WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,145
Location: California, United States
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