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billiscool
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01 Nov 2012, 9:30 pm

ok here what confuses me.
I hear this all the time from different ladies (not personaly but from forums)
ok a lady will say ''I get turn on by naked ladies and I sleep with women( or a desire to sleep with ones)
But Im straight''.
it annoying why would anyone admit being attractive to own gender but deny being lesbian or bi.

And what funny is only women can say this. If man says he find a man attractive he's label gay.



Rorberyllium
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01 Nov 2012, 9:44 pm

There actually is a very large community of straight men who have sex with men but don't identify as bi or gay. They just call it MSM (men who have sex with men). I don't see why there can't be WSW as well. Sometimes sex is just sex.



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01 Nov 2012, 11:05 pm

I have to admit that when it comes to the topics of sexuality and gender, I am easily confused by what people prefer to be labeled as and I don't really understand the logic behind some of said labels. I guess it all comes down to the individual and what they feel comfortable identifying as. Me, I'm content being labeled as bi.



meems
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01 Nov 2012, 11:32 pm

I hate when people say I'm a lesbian because I mostly sleep with women. I hate when people say I'm bi because I've been with men.

I've been with people who don't identify as male or female, and I'm not attracted by gender in any case.

I guess I'm pansexual if I have to put a word to it..

I don't care if people consider themselves gay/straight/unidentified etc. It isn't my place to tell people what they are.


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02 Nov 2012, 1:38 am

I've found that straight women can be attracted to other women and not be gay. I once saw an article on the internet that said advertisers use women in their advertisements a lot more because it's been shown that when their particular ad had an attractive man in it men looked at it less and women looked a lot. But if the advertisers used a sexy woman in the ad both genders looked equally as much. Some women find the woman in the ad attractive, others could be envious. Men of both sexual orientations enjoyed the add because straight men want the woman and gay men can probably appreciate an attractive woman as well.

It was something about women liking the other person for more then just physical reasons as men tend to do. Women can also be attracted by emotional things and might show appreciation with physical reactions?



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02 Nov 2012, 2:11 am

Rorberyllium wrote:
There actually is a very large community of straight men who have sex with men but don't identify as bi or gay. They just call it MSM (men who have sex with men). I don't see why there can't be WSW as well. Sometimes sex is just sex.


But surely if you're sexually attracted to both males and females, that makes you bisexual regardless of your romantic orientation?
I can't see how it wouldn't be possible for someone to be bisexual and heteroromantic. A person's sexual and romantic orentations don't necessarily match up.


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02 Nov 2012, 2:45 am

meems wrote:
I hate when people say I'm a lesbian because I mostly sleep with women. I hate when people say I'm bi because I've been with men.

I've been with people who don't identify as male or female, and I'm not attracted by gender in any case.

I guess I'm pansexual if I have to put a word to it..

I don't care if people consider themselves gay/straight/unidentified etc. It isn't my place to tell people what they are.


I've been wondering this for a while but I can't search for it because I don't know the terminology.

Is there a word for someone who requires to be attracted to somebody due to their personality and being close emotionally before they can be attracted to them romantically and sexually?


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Rorberyllium
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02 Nov 2012, 9:08 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
But surely if you're sexually attracted to both males and females, that makes you bisexual regardless of your romantic orientation?
I can't see how it wouldn't be possible for someone to be bisexual and heteroromantic. A person's sexual and romantic orentations don't necessarily match up.


In many cases of MSM they aren't even sexually attracted to males. If you showed them erotic pictures of men it would not do a thing for them. These are typically older men, usually married, looking for a sexual partner who is available, low maintenance, and will keep quiet about everything, and another straight man meets their needs much easier than a woman would. The mindset of these people is basically that a blowjob is just a blowjob, a hole is just a hole, and they care more about convenience and availability.

I see no reason why a straight woman wouldn't have similar desires for similar reasons. To assume otherwise is a silly double-standard.

Also there are straight women who do lesbian porn, and straight men who do gay porn. It doesn't make them bi either, and the only difference they're doing it for pay rather than an easy orgasm.



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02 Nov 2012, 9:17 am

Tsproggy wrote:
I've found that straight women can be attracted to other women and not be gay. I once saw an article on the internet that said advertisers use women in their advertisements a lot more because it's been shown that when their particular ad had an attractive man in it men looked at it less and women looked a lot. But if the advertisers used a sexy woman in the ad both genders looked equally as much. Some women find the woman in the ad attractive, others could be envious. Men of both sexual orientations enjoyed the add because straight men want the woman and gay men can probably appreciate an attractive woman as well.

It was something about women liking the other person for more then just physical reasons as men tend to do. Women can also be attracted by emotional things and might show appreciation with physical reactions?


Double standards and gender stereotypes.



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02 Nov 2012, 10:49 am

Kjas wrote:
meems wrote:
I hate when people say I'm a lesbian because I mostly sleep with women. I hate when people say I'm bi because I've been with men.

I've been with people who don't identify as male or female, and I'm not attracted by gender in any case.

I guess I'm pansexual if I have to put a word to it..

I don't care if people consider themselves gay/straight/unidentified etc. It isn't my place to tell people what they are.


I've been wondering this for a while but I can't search for it because I don't know the terminology.

Is there a word for someone who requires to be attracted to somebody due to their personality and being close emotionally before they can be attracted to them romantically and sexually?


Maybe "demisexual" is the word you're looking for?

And to answer the OP's question: I once read that women have a higher degree of "erotic plasticity" than men, which meant that their sexual desires where more prone to variation, and they would wish for different things at different times. one of the sources was
this article. It's quite long, but it should explain it. Or if you don't feel like reading it, the gist of it is that while heterosexual men only respond to women, and homosexual men only to other men, both heterosexual and homosexual women respond to either; homosexual women have a preference for other women, while heterosexual women have a more or less equal preference to either one.


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billiscool
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02 Nov 2012, 6:44 pm

Tsproggy wrote:
I've found that straight women can be attracted to other women and not be gay. I once saw an article on the internet that said advertisers use women in their advertisements a lot more because it's been shown that when their particular ad had an attractive man in it men looked at it less and women looked a lot. But if the advertisers used a sexy woman in the ad both genders looked equally as much. Some women find the woman in the ad attractive, others could be envious. Men of both sexual orientations enjoyed the add because straight men want the woman and gay men can probably appreciate an attractive woman as well.

It was something about women liking the other person for more then just physical reasons as men tend to do. Women can also be attracted by emotional things and might show appreciation with physical reactions?


Ok, I think I know what you are talking about ok there has been at least 2 studies on women watching exortic videos.
One study showed 60% of women in the study were aroused by naked women, sounds good but here the problem
in the study the women were divide into 3 groups: straight women, straight women who were unsure about their sexuality and sexualy minority women. So of course if a group of women that already les/bi and another closet/unsure of course your going get 60% arousal towards women.

another study that showed majority women being aroused by naked women. However in the study half the women were lesbian and every women in the study had been in relationship with both men and women even the straight ones

i never seen a study where they took only 100% straight women who were not unsure or never had past relationship with a woman.
most of these so called women arousal study they get a mix of orientation of women: full straight, straight but unsure and/or had relationship with women. and lesbian/bi women.

so don't take any of them arousal study serious.



billiscool
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02 Nov 2012, 6:48 pm

oh yeah there another study showing women being aroused by naked women but the here problem it was only 23 women and they were also aroused by monkey sex.

and there been study too showing men being aroused by naked men. There this one were they took 60 men and divide them into
2 groups homophobic and non-homophobic, Every man in study was aroused by naked women. However something like 70% of homophobic men were aroused by naked men and 35% of the non-homophobic men were aroused by naked men.

another study that showed that most straight men are at least moderalty aroused by naked men



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02 Nov 2012, 7:19 pm

billiscool wrote:
oh yeah there another study showing women being aroused by naked women but the here problem it was only 23 women and they were also aroused by monkey sex.

and there been study too showing men being aroused by naked men. There this one were they took 60 men and divide them into
2 groups homophobic and non-homophobic, Every man in study was aroused by naked women. However something like 70% of homophobic men were aroused by naked men and 35% of the non-homophobic men were aroused by naked men.

another study that showed that most straight men are at least moderalty aroused by naked men


Could you show me those studies? I already provided a link to mine. It has a lot of references to other studies, I could check those out. It's a theory anyway, that explains what you said in your first post. If you want to blame that on women instead, it's your call.


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02 Nov 2012, 7:25 pm

Shatbat wrote:
Maybe "demisexual" is the word you're looking for?

And to answer the OP's question: I once read that women have a higher degree of "erotic plasticity" than men, which meant that their sexual desires where more prone to variation, and they would wish for different things at different times. one of the sources was
this article. It's quite long, but it should explain it. Or if you don't feel like reading it, the gist of it is that while heterosexual men only respond to women, and homosexual men only to other men, both heterosexual and homosexual women respond to either; homosexual women have a preference for other women, while heterosexual women have a more or less equal preference to either one.


How do you know about that and I don't? :lol:

Re: study
This may explain much. :chin:


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02 Nov 2012, 7:29 pm

Kjas wrote:
How do you know about that and I don't? :lol:

Re: study
This may explain much. :chin:


The term has been thrown around in the forums before. It was actually a surprise that you didn't know the specific word already :lol:.
Glad the study was useful :lol:. Can't believe I went through all the 15+ pages


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02 Nov 2012, 7:59 pm

I wonder how many of the hetero people studied who felt aroused by members of the same sex were enjoying the fantasy but had no urge to take it any further and have a same-sex experience in reality?

And what term would you use to describe them? (Not that I think anyone needs a label, I'm just curious here!)