Hey I really am kinda struggling with this....for serious.

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I haven't gotten the best of responses in other parts of the forum. But the best way I can describe it is I don't really identify with being male or female......I feel more in between. I have a females body accept according to a chiopractor I saw once I have the upper back and neck structure that is more masculine than feminine. As for sexuality not sure if I like guys or girls or both...I mean ever since I went to this strip club with friends and was really into to whole female body.......like it was very attractive to me. But then I've only had relationships with guys and whenever it comes to sex things seem to get pretty akward.

A little background can't go into too much detail out of respect, but when me and my sister were little kids we had a nasty 'uncle' our aunts boyfriend who did things to my sister........so I am not sure if that plays into the sexual discomfort, or if its more that I am just not into guys. I mean its just rather confusing to me and a lot of people seem rather harsh about this topic. Like you're either a man or woman, you're either gay or straight and extremes like that but it seems there is some stigma to simply not being sure.

I mean thus far I think I would prefer to identify as gender neutral rather than male or female, just still not sure about the sexuality thing...another possibility is asexuality and just finding certain bodies attractive to look at.

Sexuality and sex is not the same.
The various inbetweens the two sexes is extremely interesting (I think, as a biologist). Until some years ago I thought that people are either female XX or male XY (or one of the chromosome anomalies) but it is not nearly as simple as that.

A boy XY that do not recieve testetorone (or very little testetorone) will develop female external genitialia. There are all kinds of inbetween states, depending on the amount of testetorone recieved (this is the very simple explanation, for someting else try http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XY_gonadal_dysgenesis)

I am certanitely not saying that you have this, it is just an illustration of the different development paths between male XY and female XX.

I have no intention to go into the topic of sexuality

Gender in no way has to be binary. Lots of people identify as various forms of gender-variant. Bigender, third-gender, twin-spirited, agender, gender neutral, genderfluid, genderqueer, transmasculine/transfeminine.

(I prefer "gender neutral" myself and have identified as such for some time)

Sexuality is often a fluid and ever growing and changing process for many people. Don't let people tell you that you must be this or you can't be that. Just identify in whatever way most closely matches the way you feel, and only participate in things that you're comfortable with. Also asexuals can still be capable of romantic attraction.

Just do whatever it takes to make you happy, anyone complains? why should you care about them or what their opinions are?

you wanna be referred to as a guy? all cool.
a girl? all cool.
flying spaghetti monster? well yeah, I'll probably give you weird looks for that one.
gender neutral? well why the hell not?

just expect that if you're going into a job or a hospital, or anything requiring you to fill out a form; that you might have to give your birth gender, etc. however, just ask them that you prefer to be referred to as "gender neutral," or whatever you chose to be known as. you can't expect the rules to magically change for you, but you should still expect people to respect you for who you are.

although, I do live in a different country then america.

it sounds wonderful that you feel this way. you may just need to embrace it and make it a major part of your everyday day.

I don't know if it applies in your instance, but incidents when you were a child can have an affect. Up until I was in my early twenties, I would hide any feminine mannerisms, kept my hair extremely short, and would not wear anything form fitting at all. Most people thought I was lesbian, but it was because of a fear of attracting any sexual interest from men.
As for being attracted to females, I don't think that's anything out of the ordinary-- especially in such a sexualized situation( strip club). I don't think anything is ever that black and while, but we can veer to one side or the other without being so absolute.
Hope this helps.

For some it is pretty fluid. What turns you on?

A woman's body is attractive to both sexes. That's just a fact. A man's body may even be attractive to heterosexual men, not in the sexual sense, but in the "Damn... I want those abs" or "You know what... I'm going to grow out a gotee because that dude wears it well, and I could probably pull it off too."

Do you enjoy being found attractive? Some people run from it. If you do enjoy it, have you been hit on by other girls, and how has that made you feel.... the same for guys as well.

Whatever conclusions you draw, don't limit yourself if you confidently know that you are genderless, asexual, or bi.

As far as gender goes (because it can be complicated), queer is always a valid option, especially if one is exploring ones' gender. Questioning is a good starting point when uncertain of ones' sexuality. Hope this is helpful.

I kinda understand where you are coming from. My biological mother would dress me up as a boy as a "safety precaution" (it never worked, probably made it worse!) and I was sexually abused as a child, including in foster homes. I am sure it was because of those factors that I grew up very confused and hating my body, hated things that were revealing, and preferring to be covered up. I always had shorter hair, baggy clothes, and oppose anything that makes me too girly or even being called "she, her", etc. Anything "girly" throws my alarms off, makes me weird.

I think because of my abuse, I am not interested in anyone sexually, (rare moments pop up) but romantically I lean towards females, but remember getting crushes on guys, too (but that coulda been admiring what they have and what I don't...). I make easy friends with males, but anything past that and they're burnt toast! I look female so that's the way it's going to stay until I am sure I really wanna go thru with anything, cause you know once you step over the threshold, it's kinda hard to go back. Once the can of worms is open, they're out, eh?

So, for now I'd stick with Asexual or neutral, until you are ready to explore more options. Gender Identity Therapy might help. Is your therapist a specialist? Or just a general counselor? I had to switch agencies to a place that is LGBT oriented to feel more understood (even if you aren't LGBT, I wouldn't think it'd be a problem after all we're all there to find ourselves, right?) Do it when you have the chance, 'cause you could easily struggle with this your whole life if you don't tackle it now.

I feel agender, but I realise people see me as female and will treat me as such. They won't accept the concept of agender. I have to deal with people seeing me as female, which isn't as hard as accepting myself. It's hard when people see you as different to what you are.

I'm also about 80% gay and it took me a long time to realise that. Because I like men a bit, I thought I could train myself to like them more than I actually do.

Also, I can relate to you on the abuse/ambivalence thing. I was abused as a child and I have a hard time not seeing male sexuality as something slightly sinister. I don't know if it's a result of that.