What really irritates me about what I'm reading on here...

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MacDragard
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18 Nov 2012, 3:33 pm

I've been reading way too many posts on here lately about guys who do nothing more than b***h on here about their lack of success with women and dating, and I just want to dropkick these guys across the floor. Luckly I don't have to do that because there are people on here who are doing that for me :)

One guy (I think his name is Meems) made an excellent point in the thread about men having to approach women - too many guys feel like they're entitled to sex, even though they do barely anything on their part. That's like saying you should be able to throw touchdown passes like Tom Brady and win superbowls even though you feel awkward just wearing a football helmet. That's like saying you should be able to just sit down at a piano and play Chopin's Fantaisie Impromptu even though you don't even know where B Flat or F Sharp is located on the keyboard. You think just because a bunch of other guys are able to f**k with ease that you should be able to do so but can't because you're a "defective and horrible person", that's nothing more than your ego talking.

Guys, if you want to be in a relationship with a great girl and/or have great sex, you're gonna have to work for it and you're gonna have to put in the time. For some guys, it takes years to get really good with women, but they do get good eventually. Stop fretting and complaining over how much easier it is for women to get in relationships. As much as you b***h like you have a vagina, you're not woman, so get over it. I'd rather be single than be stuck in a relationship with a woman I'm not into. If you want to be in a relationship simply for the purpose of being in a relationship, you completely do not understand what it means to be in a relationship and therefore do not deserve to be in one. I don't think anyone wants to be in a relationship with someone who only wants a relationship for an ego boost. Stop blaming aspergers/autism for all your problems. All this "Oh I can't be cool like those NT's over there" is nothing more than monkey chatter running through your head and it's nothing more than your ego talking. Instead, use aspergers to your advantage like Sherlock Holmes or James Bond does. There are MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of resources out there, from online books to youtube videos to meetup groups, for men who are looking to become successful with women. USE THEM. Also take into consideration that working towards becoming successful with women involves a fair share of rejection. Yes, you will get rejected a LOT especially in the beginning. The truth is all guys get rejected, including NFL quarterbacks. See it as a learning experience to get better. I seriously doubt that when you started out doing a favorite hobby of yours, you were a pro at it; it took a long time to get there. With women, it's the same way.

Anyways, I hope guys on here will take my advice seriously and not post all the excuses and monkey chatter that's running through their heads to try to prove me wrong.



Kurgan
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18 Nov 2012, 3:38 pm

Being the life of a party with Asperger's, is like bench pressing 400 lbs with one of the pecs missing.



Boxman108
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18 Nov 2012, 3:51 pm

So you're saying that sex should be seen as a prize and women should be seen as a hobby? I don't think that's much better to post here than anything they've written.


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DialAForAwesome
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18 Nov 2012, 4:12 pm

Meems is a lady lol.

Why should you feel like you have to dropkick guys across the floor because they weren't blessed with what you were blessed with? It's kinda like wanting to dropkick a blind guy because he wants to see, and then telling him "YOU CAN SEE, YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO!"

Hardly seems right or fair.

I agree that it seems like some of these guys think they're entitled to sex, but maybe it only seems that way because of your Asperger's.

It is also really stupid how most guys can just do a come-hither motion and within a couple hours, have a girlfriend. Of course, the opposite happens quite a bit too.


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Last edited by DialAForAwesome on 18 Nov 2012, 4:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

redrobin62
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18 Nov 2012, 4:12 pm

Like Sherlock Holmes or James Bond? They're not even real! Tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor analogy. Why not say we should be able to mind meld like Mr. Spock or name every street in L.A. like Dr. Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds?



DialAForAwesome
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18 Nov 2012, 4:16 pm

redrobin62 wrote:
Like Sherlock Holmes or James Bond? They're not even real! Tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor analogy. Why not say we should be able to mind meld like Mr. Spock or name every street in L.A. like Dr. Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds?


Holmes and Bond don't even have Asperger's anyway! They're your typical guys, and are handsome or have something to their advantage. They totally don't count.


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Jono
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18 Nov 2012, 4:19 pm

Oh, give it up. What makes you think that those guys only want sex or even just want a relationship only for an ego boost? It may be that they actually do want proper relationships but didn't get any because the social ineptness inherent in Asperger's has stymied their attempts at even getting dates.



noxnocturne
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18 Nov 2012, 4:25 pm

Excuse me, but I'm not a woman who wants to be used just for great sex. That's completely offensive.



Jono
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18 Nov 2012, 4:40 pm

noxnocturne wrote:
Excuse me, but I'm not a woman who wants to be used just for great sex. That's completely offensive.


I don't think anybody here wants to use women for sex. If there is anyone, they are few in number. The OP is making stuff up about something he has no evidence for.



izzeme
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18 Nov 2012, 5:04 pm

i heared these kinds of comments and read threads like these too often, both on WP, on other sites and in real life, so allow me this spweing of relieve...

<rantmode *on*>

not putting in the work? who says i'm not putting in any work.
fact of the matter is, if i thought i'd be entitled to sex, or even just company of a woman, i'd get a random phonenumber off the internet and text to that.

just going to a situation where i can talk to anyone that isn't a roommate of family (male or female), is already great effort on my part, due to social anxiety and a slight fear of new and/or unpredictable situations.
then, when i'm there, there is always a myriad of conversations going on, usually mixed with music, meaning i can't focus on anything without spending extreme amounts of energy to tune out every sound, and then some more energy to actively listen to what i want to hear.
now that i am have the opportunity to talk to a girl, i have spend more "social energy" then i have to go around on a single day, so i will have to recover for days to be at this point...

after doing all of the above, lets start a conversation, but everyone is already talking in a group; but due to social awkwardness and a general lack of training in social situations, i wont know how to join a conversation unless i have something useful to say at a comment that is thrown out of the group, let alone that i know how to keep a conversation going or even get someone out of the group for a private conversation.

let's assume i did manage to join the group conversation, then there is the aspergers effect of barely being able to read bodylanguage; if i can even see it trough the irritating, overload-inducing lights and all the movements going on around, so i will not be able to respond to indicators of interest that are any more subtle then dragging me away by the arm.


so if i do all of the above on a regular basis, just to try and practice my conversational skills, you say i "dont put in effort" when i dont acively ask a girl outside for a talk? puh-leees.


</rant>



blue_bean
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18 Nov 2012, 5:13 pm

As far as what irritates everyone about things posted here, this is only about #20 on the list, trust me.



1000Knives
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18 Nov 2012, 7:06 pm

I just don't care enough to really bother. If a girl doesn't want me for me, then she doesn't. It's not my job to manipulate a girl into liking me or whatever. Either she does or she doesn't.



billiscool
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18 Nov 2012, 7:17 pm

sign: guys and gals here it's so simple I use a ''transprict''
mr.A has asperger and is shy around women, he does not know how to go up to a woman and talk to them
and he is 30 and never ever kissed a girl. He wants a relationship but he can never get one.

miss b also has asperger and is too shy around men, and have no idea how to talk to a man.
But to her luck men will come up to her and ask her out. many times ''creepy'' men will ask her out
but she eventual will get lucky and a nice man will ask her out and will have a relationship with her.



anneurysm
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18 Nov 2012, 7:43 pm

MacDragard wrote:
If you want to be in a relationship simply for the purpose of being in a relationship, you completely do not understand what it means to be in a relationship and therefore do not deserve to be in one. I don't think anyone wants to be in a relationship with someone who only wants a relationship for an ego boost.


YES. And there are plenty of NTs who think this way too. You really have to find the right person to make it work.


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My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


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18 Nov 2012, 7:59 pm

blue_bean wrote:
As far as what irritates everyone about things posted here, this is only about #20 on the list, trust me.
My existance makes number 1. :(


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Who_Am_I
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18 Nov 2012, 8:35 pm

Quote:
As much as you b***h like you have a vagina,


I have a vagina, and f**k you.


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