Aspie-Friendly Driving Instructors

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I have been trying to learn to drive on and off since I was 17. 13 years later I have pretty much written off any hope of learning. The last instructor I had was particularly unhelpfull. This was before I realised I had AS and he found me impossible to work with and frequently became angry which I cannot deal with at the best of times. I understand how to operate the car itself but not be able to process the NT instructors confusing and vauge sounding instructions and questions while at the same time concerntrating on driving safely. On top of that were issues around spacial awareness, judging speed and predicting stuff as well as the way I think I see minute details but miss big-picture stuff visually a lot of the time.

I wondered if anyone had found companies that understand the needs of someone on the spectrum who is learning to drive? I am still not sure if I will ever consider myself safe to drive but this seemed like a good first question to consider.

Good question. At a guess I'd say probably no, given the distribution of autism support resources being heavily focused on children as opposed to adults.

Have you tried since finding out you have AS? Frustration on the part of the instructor could be alleviated ahead of time by explaining to him/her that you have AS and going over a list of things that have, in the past, made it more difficult for you to focus. Sounds like your last instructor did a lot of talking to you while you were trying to drive the car as well. This is one of the difficulties I encountered when I did my license test. The instructor refused to tell me the route we were going to drive ahead of time. I never knew which direction he was going to tell me to turn until the last minute. Anxiety over this caused me to lose track and make many many stupid mistakes that I wouldn't have if he had told me the route to expect.

If you could find an instructor willing to listen and modify their lesson plan slightly to accommodate you, things may go more smoothly. Like asking them to go over in detail what the upcoming session of driving will include. Route, techniques to utilize, etc. It would have really helped me when I was learning if the instructor just told me "we are going to drive from A to B to C. Between A and B we will find a suitable place to try parallel parking. You will turn on your signal and align the car for parking. Upon completion of the parking, you will signal, shoulder check, then drive back into the center of the lane when it is safe to do so."

Lots of detailed instructions before you get in the car. Then emphasize that they need to shut the hell up and let you concentrate when you're driving, as you can't concentrate on them talking and the car and the road all at once.

Si_82 you have a PM awaiting your attention.

I would just phone several companies and ask. Some instructors within the same company, might be better than others.

What MrStewart wrote is good, but have you considered asking someone who knows you well to teach you to drive? I don't think it's essential that they do this for a living. Most adults can drive (well, at least most NTs), so the main challenge here is obviously in the teaching part. While a driving instructor will of course be better at that in general, in your particular case a friend or relative who can communicate with you well may do better.

Also, AS aside, some driving instructors are just much better at teaching than others. A few years ago I did a performance driving course, which involved driving around a race track all day, some of it with an instructor and I tried 3 different instructors that day. The first one I got was the founder of the company, who used to be a pro racing driver and still did all sorts of car stunts. While I'm sure he was a great driver, he was a terrible instructor - kept annoying me with stupid comments and unhelpful criticisms and at one stage he actually grabbed the steering wheel! That is just an absolute no-no in my book, unless we're about to crash (which we weren't). The second was much better, giving useful advice when needed. The third guy was older, probably close to retirement and he was just so nice and so helpful and so supportive! At the end he said "it was my pleasure" - and you know what, I think he really meant every word of that! (Incidentally, that was the only time I've had driving instructors say stuff like "we could have gone a bit faster through that corner there!" )

When I went to driving school, I already knew how to drive. My parents had taught me (and I grew up driving tractors) so the driving school was really more of a formality than anything else.

I would suggest working with someone one on one to teach you driving, before going back to school.

But I also caution that if you are seriously having issues, you must ask if you can safely drive on the roads.

If you have that much trouble passing a test and are 30 you probably shouldn't drive.

There are ton's of NT's that shouldn't be driving either.

It's one of those privileges people take as a right.

It's a life and death issue, where the number of injured, broke, and dead is astounding.

Quite honestly I think it's counter productive for the community to even make it an issue.

I didn't pass my test until I was 35 on my forth attempt. I think what helped when I was finding a instructor is remembering I am their employer for that hour or two and you need to find one that works for you and your style. I went through 3 instructors before I had the one that got me through my test. When he became my instructor I had to give him instructions on what I can deal with and what I couldn't and he was fine and stuck to those rules.

When I was in driving school, I had a great instructor. I don't think he knew that I has AS but it didn't really matter because the way he taught stuff made it easy to understand, even for me.

I grew up playing Gran Turismo and other driving games so by the time I was in Driver's Education classes, it almost came naturally and I had very little problem. That said, my nervousness for the actual test and college meant I didn't take the driver's license test until I was 19 (3 years late in the US). While I did pass the first test, I had a few issues: 1) Even if I was diagnosed with an ASD at that time, I don't think I could have effectively communicated it to the tester (she seemed to barely speak English and had zero patience) and 2) I kept second guessing everything, like when she'd say turn here...I felt like I didn't know if that meant turn at the next turn, wait and turn left instead of right or something else (even though it sounds like common-sense) so I had to constantly ask 'right here?' and motion my head in that direction. That went on throughout the whole test, but luckily, despite failing to parallel park and back around a corner, I passed just fine. I think once you practice enough in a very comfortable environment and with a very trustworthy instructor, you'll gain enough confidence to do great on the test.

You need an instructor who talks less and gives short clear directions. A lot of the learning to drive problem is the other person in the car. If you can tell the instructor what you need, and they agree to meet those needs, then maybe it will work bester.