New Guy from Australia.

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Hi there!

I discovered high-functioning autism about eight years ago, and it explained so much about my various problems and peculiarities that it was honestly a huge relief because it meant I could figure out how to go about things a bit better. I'm pretty sure my mother is on the spectrum too, and so I think that because of that I was raised with her experiences in survival to help me seem more normal.

As is typical with Aspergians (I can't stand the word "Aspie"), I'll introduce myself with a blathering overshare.

I moved from South Africa to Australia about five years ago, primarily to escape South Africa's problems. I've been relatively independent, although I live in a sharehouse because Sydney's rents are extortionate and I'm not earning much. After living in Sydney for a few years, I moved to Melbourne with a girlfriend in 2011 but, well, autism, and so that ended and I moved back to Sydney.

People usually put my oddness down to simple eccentricity and so I get a lot of "why don't you just...?" types of questions about my "choice" of career and education, since I'm "clearly very intelligent". I find this immensely depressing since I always feel like I'm squandering my life and not living up to my potential, but I honestly struggle to just go through the motions of menial existence, and often feel like I'm going to get into trouble because of all the things I don't know about being a normal person in the real world. I've carved myself a comfortable little rut, but my only real goal (owning a home) is pretty much unattainable at my foreseeable salary level. I'd like to move out to a country town, but I don't know what I'd do as far as organising a job and accommodation in the fell swoop such a move would require.

I've been averse to getting help with my various problems because I've been concerned about it affecting my chances of citizenship here. I'm pretty close to becoming a citizen, so that should be okay soon.

I almost feel ashamed, as if I'm "too normal" to join a support group or get proper help, but also feel like I'm always running on fumes and wish I could just find something stable, predictable and low-stress that would pay the bills of my incredibly modest life ambitions. I can't imagine finding a partner, so that also reduces the scope of my ambitions.

I suppose I'm joining up here because I'm still feeling totally out of my depth in the adult world and wondering what to do about it.

Welcome to WP!

Hello to a fellow Aussie!

Let it be said that your user name and display picture, made me laugh. Really it did, out loud. It was embarrassing.

I hope you find WP to be just as nice as I have.

^Alice^

I am also new here and have been made to feel very welcome here, I'm sure you
will to )

Thanks everyone. I'm glad the avatar humour was appreciated.

Which city are you in, Alice?

Welkome to WP

Mick

Hello ladyfingers,

Forget buying a house in sydney. It's not worth the effort. Moving to the country is one solution, but I would suggest a larger country town, perhaps Wagga or Bathurst/Orange would be OK, or somewhere up the coast. But beware, country NSW is different to Sydney and you need to keep your job opportunities open. Find the job first, don't worry too much about accomodation, it's a lot easier to find something affordable than in Sydney. That's all for now.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I couldn't help but laugh myself at the user! (I would put the 'laughing' smiley here, but it just looks like it's wiggling it's top lip. Which is creepy looking. )

And I too, can not STAND being called an 'Aspie' or 'Aspies'

Thanks for that. I wouldn't mind rural NSW so much. I think I might prefer rural Victoria, though.

Pretty sure prices will crash within a few years all over Australia, but I think the country would be less stressful.

Hello and welcome from another new member from the other end of the globe.

My story too, although I don't think anyone who really knows my mother would consider her 'normal'; the same applies to me for that matter. But to the superficial observer, we probably pass.



I've had the same experience. It's as though some people think that if you are very intelligent, that's all you need in life, you shouldn't have any problems dealing with anything. During my years at various educations quite a few people actually became very offended if I told them I was struggling - they didn't believe me because I was usually at the top of the class - so they called me 'spoiled' and 'lazy' and told me to just 'pull myself together'.

Don't listen to other peoples ambitions on your behalf, they are just mindlessly projecting their own wishes for themselves onto you. They are not actually being open to who you really are, they're just talking to some image of you that they've created in their own minds. People relate to each other like that all the time - it saves mental energy to deal with your own projections rather than the real unique person standing in front of you. It's actually they who are being lazy, for not wanting to expend the energy on relating properly to the real situation you're in.

Line

You're one of the lucky ones like me. Some people say diagnosis or suspicion of an ASD made their life worse but for me it has explained so much and while I still know I'm not 'normal' I at least understand the kind of 'not normal' that I am and it's a relief to have that insight.



Yes I always got that too. It annoys me now that people like teachers and parents just thought I was being selectively lazy when I did really badly with certain subjects or with handwriting and tying my shoes. A constant feature on my primary school report cards was a variation of the sentence 'but he needs to apply himself more'. No one thought for a second there might be a reason I'd get all A's in things that fascinated and absorbed me but below D's in other things I couldn't understand. Only after discovering the spectrum have I truly seen my potential in some areas (now I know I'm probably smart and methodical enough to be a natural scientist or even a doctor) while knowing my weaknesses in other areas (I REALLY can't do something as simple as work behind a service counter).



Yeah I have days when I wonder (because I'm still not officially diagnosed yet) am I really on the spectrum? Is this just an excuse I make for myself for certain failings in life? Then I remember how uncomfortable I feel at my girlfriend's house knowing that I care about and like her housemates and friends but knowing that they just don't know that because I'm too ret*d to show it normally. When they walk into the room I don't even know what's expected of me or what to do with my hands so I get my phone out and pretend I'm doing something on it hoping they'll just walk by and say hi so I can say hi back and that will be the end of it. Even for those of us who may be 'high functioning' autistic there are still so many barriers thrown up by autistic brain wiring that any amount of help needed shouldn't be trivialised. If you didn't need a support group or some assistance I don't think you'd have showed up here. I hope my message shows that your story is similar to mine and many others I've seen here (that was a big relief to me when I first joined WP) and I'm also about to get some professional help by seeing a doctor later this week. So good luck to you and don't feel bad about needing or wanting help

We responded at about the same time in almost the same way. I hope this shows ladyfingers how we often have such a shared story even if we spent much of our lives feeling completely alone

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP!

But I think your Avatar is pretty gross.

As far as Aspie goes, I initially wasn't too hot on the name either, but it's just a shortened form not a derogatory term. And since short forms are easier to use I got used to it.