Can you feel sympathy?

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I think there is a difference between empathy and sympathy. I can feel sympathy, despite having AS. Or is it only empathy that is the problem at people with AS?

That is, if someone has been in an accident, I can feel sorry for them. If they have lost their legs, I can feel sorry for them for not having any legs.

But NT's claim they can feel what other people are feeling, without being in the situation themselves. Example: Somebody has a headache, and then a healthy person who doesn't orginally have this headache, will feel the headache too.

Thats wierd.

It sounds like quantum entanglement.

If the latter one is what differenciates me from NT's then I am glad not to be an NT. Feeling the pain of 6 billion people on earth - that must be painful!

I think people with AS can have trouble empathising as well as sympathising. But I can sympathise with someone who has had a headache (your example) as I have suffered headaches before, so therefore I can imagine what they are going through. I have more difficulty displaying any empathy toward them though, especially if it's someone I couldn't give a crap about anyway. I can do empathy sometimes but other times I just can't.

Funny, I have AS and Empathy is one of my most powerful skills.
I am sympathetic too.
Figures.

Check out the wikipedia page on empathy, they have some good definitions of it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy

I like this one:
"The capacity to know emotionally what another is experiencing from within the frame of reference of that other person, the capacity to sample the feelings of another or to put oneself in another’s shoes."
D. M. Berger

Your definition seems to suggest full experience of the other person's headache, whereas this defintion suggests being able to think to yourself "that person has a headache, I can remember/imagine what that must be like", which is more like what I think empathy is.

Also see the wikipedia page on sympathy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathy

This actually begins with a bit about being sympathetic but not empathetic and the opposite.

Based on those definitions....I have sympathy but not as much empathy.My biggest problem is "believing" when someone says the are sick because I have "co-workers" who come in everyday complaining that they are sick or tired and it just seems like an excuse to make me do all the work.I do seem to have some empathy for "vulnerable people" and animals.I can feel their distress and sympathy,in that I want to help them.The sensation is actually painful to me.I want to end their pain,in part,to end my own pain of seeing them in pain.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/3690763.stm

Empathy finding offers autism hope

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3106599.stm

'Why my autism is a gift'

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/medic ... 166811.stm

Asperger's syndrome

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/787526.stm

Autism misdiagnosis 'ruined a life'

shocking if that's true about prisons...

there is a difference between sympathy and empathy...

sympathy is when you understand how someone is feeling because you've been though a similar situation

empathy is just being able to divine how someone is feeling when you have not been in a similar situation to them

so sympathy should not be an issue... but it only applies through shared experiences between people

empathy is that tricky thing that requires social anticipation which AS causes problems for

I think I'm super-sensitive to how other people feel, and I react to their feelings, but this freaks them out, as if I am "pscyhic". So I end up pretending I am not aware of their feelings; which seems fake to me.

I know you are supposed to "know someone well" before you can say things like, "Are you upset?" or "What's wrong?" but I feel like saying this to people I barely know (sometimes just out of curiosity, and sometimes because I am concerned).

Might be the tone - and body posture your using - and face expression.... Or you take it the wrong way when they say something negative.

I know stranger's can walk up to people that they barely know comfort them....

I just feel like an outcast when I try and comfort someone….

I find that if I've been through something similar, I can put myself in that person's shoes and I'll understand what they are feeling; that's not the problem.

It's when it comes to expressing it, and saying the "right thing" to make them feel better that I have trouble with (although I have learned tricks over the years, such as how to twist my face into an "I understand and I'm sorry for you" expression, although I think it may look a little off... like when someone says to smile for the camera - I look ridiculous if I'm trying to fake smile...)

I'm much better at listening to someone's problem and enumerating possible solutions, which can be helpful in another way.

If a person's suffering moves me to feeling real emotion on the spot, then I'm utterly useless as I am too upset to be able to express anything verbal... I'll cry and not know what to say, for example.

Also, I know hugging people can help them feel better, but usually all I can manage is an awkward pat on the arm or a quick shoulder-squeeze.

Anyone else like that?

hugging and comforting....cant do it.

Had a co-worker the other day who came to work in tears....

Me"oh,what happened?"
Her"I am just having an emotional day"
Me"oh,I will leave you alone then"runs outside for a cig.

Thanks for your comments and replies.

Yes, when someone is crying I find myself crying too. Maybe it's some kind of "universal suffering" that I'm reacting to. Even when I watch movies, I can get really upset and emotional about the "characters" in it, because they are real to me, for the time being.

About hugging... Sometimes I am very hugg-y, with someone I know well, and sometimes, if I feel even MORE emotion, I turn stiff, and it becomes too difficult to hug. The truth is, I am feeling even MORE feelings, but I come across as cold because the person just sees that I am stiff.

I've noticed that I sometimes walk funny (sort of stiff) if I am approaching someone I have a lot of feelings for!