Too disorganized for routines?

Post Reply New Topic

This is my problem. I think I'm naturally oriented towards wanting a routine, but I have terrible organizational skills, like time management and stuff. Like ideally I'd like to plan years and years into the future, etc, have everything be totally regimented into timeslots, etc, but it never like, works. Like for example, plan to wake up at 7:30, then I wake up at 7:45 or 8 or something, and then the entire routine for the day gets messed up. So I've just over time learned to have almost zero routine whatsoever, and think abstractly about the future, but not in absolutes.

Does anyone else relate at all?

Yes, same here. The only routine I follow is rigidity in how I do things, and I can never really stick to one set way for long before trying something else or forgetting a step. (I also have ADHD).

I have a tendency to routinize nearly everything I do but it gets thwarted by other people I live with who don't realize that I have these routines. If I don't do everything in the exact same order every time I might (will) skip over things.

I'm too afraid to plan anything and have it set in stone or I will get upset if it gets disrupted. So I forget to do things and I procrastinate. I feel so disorganized but yet if I make routines, then I get upset if it changes.

I am not very good at planning things (e.g. complex work projects), but I do like to do the same things every day (clothes, food, activities).

Routine is not the same thing as organisation. Organisation requires thinking, planning ahead. Routine just requires memory - do the same thing as you did yesterday.

Does it count as a routine to do certain things (waking up, cooking, eating, cleaning, get ready for school) in a specific order, not like unplanned events (good or bad), if left alone like doing something similar everyday, but be a total mess with times?

I get really upset when I plan to do something small (eat such and such tomorrow) and then it's interrupted. And yet, during the day I don't even know what time it is, I'm a mess as to when I do things. If I don't have anything planned I'm perfectly open to going somewhere good with a few hours notice, 3 days for something bad. I'm always saying I need to mentally prepare. Nobody seems to get this.

Yeah its simular for me, though I am not sure I'm oriented towards wanting a routine.

I've known for a long time that I do best with routines. It's one reason I've liked having a job or going to school, even though I end up failing badly at both of those things.

It's hard for me to maintain as much of a routine as I'd prefer, and doing things in the wrong order or too late can mess me up. I missed therapy last week and it ruined my entire day.

Me! I prefer routine, and I have a general routine because I'm homeschooled... but I can't stay on routine to save my life. DX It's horrid, and it really interferes with any and all appointments scheduled.

I am the same way. It may be one of those unfortunate places where ASD and ADHD overlap with one another (need for order and routine vs hopeless inability to create any).

I have been struggling with this for years - I have always been surrounded by mess and disorganisation. Even before I discovered I was autistic I knew I needed a list of steps to work through tasks and to do that list of steps the same way over and over again, and that I also had to create specific times to do things and repeat that timetable every day and so on. In my case, especially where work is concerned, it is usually my complete inability to predict and manage time which torpedoes these good intentions. I am just completely unable to predict how much time something will take me, and without being able to do that, it's impossible to plan anything. I'm not just talking about "I guess four hours and it takes me five", I'm talking "I guess four hours and it takes me four weeks" kinds of misjudgements. I did a four-month project in university and despite working hard, managed to complete approximately 10% of the large project brief I had optimistically laid out for myself in the original plan. I am wildly inaccurate in any attempt to even approximately guess how long anything will take me until I've already done it, and therefore no plan I try to create is going to work. And of course, if the expected way of doing things is disrupted, that leads to a lot of distress and even further setbacks.

My method of resolving this - after years of frustration - was finally to accept that this was the way I was and find a way of creating a life which accommodated those weaknesses and played to my strengths. For example, I break down tasks into small manageable steps and a specific order to follow but do not attach any time restraints; I just faithfully follow the steps in the order I have set them out until they are finished. I wanted to find a way of making a living which did not involve deadlines (deadlines cause me insufferable stress because I'm not able to plan for them due to the above). It took me around a year to shuffle things around into a situation in which that was going to work, and I'm still a lot slower than your average NT would be doing the same tasks. But I manage and I'm proud of myself.

It helps to get rid of the clutter in your life (that includes both physical objects, and also people and obligations). Remove everything you don't need. It is worth it, because you can't make a mess if you've nothing to make a mess with, and the fewer things you have to do the less confusing and easier to manage life becomes.

To a certain extent, yes.

I have a hard time being "organized," so my routines are pretty "loose."

My problems occur when something unexpected happens, or when things aren't going the way they're supposed to. This is especially true if the disruption is being imposed on me by OTHER people. However, if I decide to do something that departs from my normal routine, as long as it's a decision I'm making, and not being forced to make, I can do pretty well.

I have an impairment in short-term memory/working memory and executive function that makes planning ahead and sticking rigidly to "routines" difficult. My routines are more that I want to do what I want to do WHEN and HOW I want to do them, and if anything screws that up, I get extremely upset.

It's also possible that I'm just a brat.

I definitely have this issue. I can sometimes get a routine started but I crash hard and then it's trouble getting out of bed, much less holding to a schedule.

I definitely have this issue. I have my set ways of doing things but I'm convinced my body missed out on the internal clock. I can't gauge time no matter how hard I try.

Routines built around a strict schedule don't work for me. I always mess up the schedule and freak out. I prefer a routine without a schedule.