Gender identity and roles
For quite a long time, I have stated that I have very little in common with my gender. While I do have some of the stereotypical "guy" traits (appearance, mechanical aptitude, whatever...) there are also quite a few that I simply do not have anything in common with. When dealing with people, I find it far easier to speak with and communicate with females. I have always gravitated towards female friends and have always portrayed myself/felt far more feminine than my typical male counterparts. My favorite color is pink and I love cute things. I often lament about how all the really cute clothing is designed for girls. This has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality, but rather with how I identify myself and who I am inside.
perhaps I don't truly understand gender roles and identity, but it always seemed a stupid thing to me to be stuffed into a specific role based solely on whether my 23rd chromosome looks more like an x or a y. I have largely rejected my predetermined role and decided on a more gender neutral approach.
Does anyone else have issues with the traditional gender roles? is this something that is fairly typical among this crowd? or is it just another way in which I am weird?
_________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss
Gender roles with only two choices are simply to rough, it is too limited to describe every person. I have been doing volunteer work with kids and it was easier to use at least four gender roles to see differences and a better approach to these children.
Most of the literature on education looks at other personality roles, like learning styles, age groups, etc.
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,873
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
I've ditched gender roles at a very young age. I've had absolutely no desire to be feminine just because I'm missing something between my legs. I identify as Male here on WP because it makes me feel a lot more natural. All of my role models throughout my life have been male. I feel that NTs obsess over the binary gender code too much and they like to push those values on everyone.
_________________
The Family Enigma
Most of the literature on education looks at other personality roles, like learning styles, age groups, etc.
I would be very interested in learning more about these roles. do you have any particular literature you would recommend, or could you provide a brief description of / more information on these multiple gender roles? I have studied early childhood education and while I do see more gravitation towards letting children freely explore their own identity, there is still very much a bipolar "male or female" mindset, which makes sense from a physiological standpoint, but not from an identity standpoint... at least, not to me.
_________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss
I have issues with traditional gender roles too. I'm biologically female, and i'm not sure whether I feel male or female, but I know that if i'd been able to choose, I would have chosen to have a male body, as it is closer to how I identify, and it would make me more comfortable to be seen as male.
Guess that's a bit off, sorry, but my ideal would be something absolutely neutral without genitals but also without breasts or other secondary sex characteristics, though I am male and don't feel female. It's more the presence of the sexes and of genitals itself that's confusing me. If anything at all, I feel like a sexless alien.
Entek
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 4 Nov 2012
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 198
Location: UK, East Anglia, Near Lowestoft
Can understand the above posts - tis a confusing ideology indeed.
Im male, but relate to females extraordinarily well, and cant relate to males at well. I have alot of what i consider to be feminine characteristics, but i can be more - er - male? If needed.
Id rather have gone for sexless too - but as is typical of alot o males i do like the old sex thing - so it would be a choice of not having it at all or having it but feeling weirded out by it - oh whats a person to do
this.
since i am physically female i use the attached pronouns but thats the only reason.
Yes, I do. I feel against being expected to behave like a typical male (I am a male). Not that I feel like a female or that I am not happy being a male. I have no problem having a male body. I have a typical male hairstyle and wear male-looking clothing. It just happens that way. I could well have preferred to wear a cute pink dress or whatever. My point is that we should not be expected/forced to behave in a certain way because of our biological sex .
One of the things l don't like, for example, though it might seem trivial to some, is being asked how old I am. I notice people refrain from asking women their age, but bluntly ask men that question. I politely refuse to answer that question, but it's uncomfortable and sometimes people seem offended by my not answering. Their expectation there, I think, is that men shouldn't be shy about their age.
Also a few people have said that it's not manly of me to like and eat a lot of sweets. While I don't care about being manly or not, it's really an unnecessary sexist commnet, as if men shouldn't like sweets.
I can think of more examples, more serious ones, but don't want to be too lengthy.
Have a Happy New Year, everyone!
I'm quite comfortable with my gender, but I feel sometimes I get boxed out of wearing things because my favorite clothing vendor often won't make certain kinds of shoes like oxfords or wingtips that I would love to wear. I like wearing ballet flats, and wedges, and so on, but sometimes I like a good old driving moc, or oxford, or wingtip. It would even be cute to have two-toned pink and white ones or something but they just won't be flexible enough to make different clothes and I have not yet become flexible enough to search for another sometimes substitute clothing vendor. I also get really irritated when I see women on TV who never seem to wear pants (think TV shows like Today), and I can't help but think men are making the decisions about what they wear. I miss older times when women were stronger and had more flexible clothing options, but not too far back in time when they did not. I don't know why, but I don't think men look quite right in women's clothes, though I would not deny them the opportunity to wear whatever they want. I also dislike to see women told they can't hold certain jobs, though that is disappearing over time. I also dislike seeing only women in cleaning commercials, as though it is beneath a man to do such a thing. But, that seems to be changing a little, too. I think we are slowly but surely headed in a positive direction where people can just do what suits them and interests them and we are less constrained by gender notions, but sometimes it seems like society is slow-moving when it comes to changing attitudes about certain things.
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