"Over" analyzing...

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Has anyone else here been told that they "over-analyze" things?

My parents are constantly telling me to stop "over-analyzing" everything, and I have also been told this before by a counselor. I don't understand what they mean when they say this, because when I am "over-analyzing" I'm not doing it intentionally, I'm just thinking. To me, when they say "stop over-analyzing it" it sounds to me like "stop thinking and trying to understand things, and just do what we tell you." They don't seem to understand that this is merely the way I think about things, and can not grasp them otherwise. I don't want to just accept something that makes absolutely no sense to me, or that I have no way of relating to, because then I don't know how to react. The worst part is that they always get frustrated with me, and I don't know exactly what I'm doing to irritate them. I know that the questions get on their nerves, but I don't understand why they can't be more tolerant. I just want them to explain things to me, they're the ones who become difficult about it and get angry, because if I don't understand, I ask more questions to try and figure out what they are getting at.

Sometimes, it's very frustrating, trying to communicate with them. I feel like there is a barrier between us that prevents understanding from penetrating. They obviously feel the same way, as well. Does anyone have any advice as to what I may be doing wrong, or how I can improve this situation? Has anyone else faced a similiar problem?

Over-analyzing things is something I do all the time, according to my brother. But like you, this is just the way I think. If I stopped doing that, it would mean I would stop thinking.

Loy

I have the same problem too. It seems many people really do believe that ignorance is bliss. I'm often just directly told to "stop thinking so much". Not as though I can make my brain shut up though.

I've been told that quite a bit at work.

Last edited by LadyBug on 26 Jul 2004, 4:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I do that a lot when a new movie comes out. I look it up in Yahoo! Movies and read all the bad reviews about it. People usually can't stand it when I look up the movie that want to take me to see.

Mich

I think it is similar in some ways to when autistic people are characterized as having overly rigid routines. Blind people often keep things in their houses in the exact same spot so they don't have to feel around for it. Autistic people may do the same things, because of autistic sensory/cognitive issues rather than blindness. But blind people are not usually called rigid for that, while autistic people are. I think if a way of thinking about the world is different enough, it can be called overly or underly something by comparison to how most people agree to think. Sometimes it is overly or underly something for the person who has it, but often it's just different.



It is good that they recognize a barrier. That's actually a start because many times only one side or the other sees the barrier. Or the blame for the barrier's existence is often put on the person with the least common way of thinking. Maybe all of you could sit down and try to talk about the way you each think until you find some way of translating between the two.

Last edited by LadyBug on 26 Jul 2004, 4:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sure, sometimes I'm told I overanalyze things... and that may be when I merely ask a simple question to someone so he/she (this most often happens with females though) can clarify what he/she originally said. I've had many an instance when I query like that, and the other person gets uppity or even mad, saying "DON'T OVERANALYZE ME!"

Usually, especially online, me gently stating that I have Asperger's and explaining that I simply wanted clarification to better understand -- and an apology if there were any hurt feelings -- soothes things over

Can there be overanalysis if it is prime to practical results in the not-so-distant future? I guess you don't know until you get there, but it's better to be well-thought-out then not know what you're getting yourself into.

This looks like an interesting topic, but one that I have trouble understanding. What are you talking about? How could too much analysis lead one into trouble? At the risk of appearing stupid or overanalyzing(?), can I ask you to provide some concrete examples? Thanks!

Sure. Better to know than to not know, that is a perfectly legitimate question.

Here's an example, culled from my own personal experiences in the past. It's embellished somewhat but you get the idea.

Me: So we're going to the movies?
Friend: Yes we are, but we're going to stop at 7-11 first and get some munchies.
Me: Okay, what movie are we going to see again?
Friend: Well when we get there, we'll play it by ear.
Me: Play it by ear?
Friend: Yeah, whatever comes.
Me: *look of empuzzlement* Shouldn't we have done our research first?
Friend: What research? It's a damn movie. We'll just pick one and go with it.
Me: But how do we know which one to pick if we haven't done our research, like read reviews or anything like that?
Friend: *exasperated sigh* Just pick one, whatever.
Me: Whatever? But what if we don't like the movie we end up seeing?
Friend: That's life, and at the least, we'll get some cheap laughs.
Me: But aren't we trying to maximize this for the best moviegoing experience?
Friend: *grrr* Listen, they're showing 8 movies, and we already discussed this a few days ago, there are only 3 we'd prolly be interested in, and they're all comedies. So yeah, we'll be laughing.
Me: But that's still gambling, a 1-in-3 odds. And wouldn't we want to pick the one we laugh the most at? And furthermore, how would we know that without seeing all three? And we haven't even seen a single one of them to begin with, so how could precognition possibly apply? Have you ever considered that......

So there you are.

Last edited by LadyBug on 26 Jul 2004, 4:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I can relate to this. I go further than I could and my parents tell me to stop
repeating myself and/or not going on and on about a particular subject.

I have been told this many times. It happens to me when I get on a "roll." By that I mean, when I get on a train of thought. Eitherway, once I'm on to something, I will start to really over analyze.

People just need to tell me, and change subjects. The changing of subjects, will usually help me.

I always get the "you've said this three times already" speech when I explain something to sometone. I"m only trying to explain all the details. It's the same with me questioning someone else. My boss actually told me the other day to stop thinking at work because thinking about each step of my job was taking too long. I don't understand how that's the case f it means I do the job right and don't have any dissatisfied customers!

This question has pinpointed my problem exactly, Magic. I don't see the problem with asking a lot of questions- I tend to need clarification for everything that people say or do, but these questions sometimes annoy other people. It's not about me appearing stupid, it's about me irritating my parents, and them reacting strongly in a negative way. Torley's example is a good one.



Well, whether they conciously recognize a barrier or not, I am not sure, but they definitely blame it on me. Otherwise, why would they be accusing me of being "over-analyzing" when I am just attempting to think things out and understand them? I would very much like to talk to them about our different ways of thinking, but, as it is, I'm not sure I have AS, and I doubt that my parents will take me seriously if I suggest it to them. I have been trying to remember to see things their way, and if I annoy them with too many questions, I will compensate by doing things I know they will appreciate later on, to patch things up.

I also agree with what you've said about cognitive issues and blindness. That's a very interesting and astute comparison that you've drawn. I do not need routines or schedules, but I do get extremely upset when things are changed, particularly in my room, or when my parents plan things that will effect me without telling me about them. I cling at ideas in the same way that I cling to sameness, as a sort of safety mechanism, to be sure that there is something stable and understood to fall back on.