Nobody understands or respects...

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So my psychiatrist says it's obvious that one of my main problems is that I'm angry and sad that people don't understand me. I think she's a keeper because she's right and I didn't even notice how affected I was by this, and how it seems to be the thread connecting my issues. As family members have started to let me down I can't just turn my head and walk away like I do with strangers. My coping mechanism doesn't work with family. Bu I'm tired of years of the following and don't know what to do.

- They don't understand, they say so, and then they fail to respect you and your needs.

- They don't understand, they lie about it, and they fail to respect you and your needs.

I'm not asking for a miracle but at least I hope for - They don't understand, they say so, and they RESPECT you and your needs.

So... I've come here because I know you guys understand and I don't have another session until a week or two.

Does this happen to you? How do you deal with it? Any ways to help them understand. I'm planning on maybe gifting them a book about Aspergers, but I'd have to find a good one and in my language because I find I have to correct many things articles say online.

i felt that way when I was younger, still sometimes. I am NT. These are natural feeling everyone may have time to time. Get help, if one does not work, find another way.

What is your language?

Yes, it's tough feeling like no one understands. Depending on your age, though, that might be partly due to normal "growing up" in addition to being genuinely different. Sometimes it surprises me to realize random things I have in common with NTs even though our differences are so enormous.

I spent years feeling exactly how you describe and I visited psychologists and psychiatrists for many years (14 in total). Memorably, my last therapist actually broke down crying during one of our sessions because she could see that I was genuinely a good person doing everything I could possibly do to make things right, and yet no one could understand and I was constantly suffering, and she couldn't figure out how to help me. Not a very encouraging feeling when your therapist starts crying, let me tell you.

The good news is, my life is pretty good now in general. For me, it took leaving everything familiar and starting from scratch on another continent to make things work. I'm afraid I don't have much advice beyond trying to break the cycle somehow and find something new. That's the only thing you can count on: things don't change on their own. All you can do is try to change *something* and hope it has a positive effect. It always helps to have someone who understands, or at least is able to accept and support you. I'm lucky enough to have several such people now, but it did take moving to Europe and becoming part of an entirely new culture in order to find them.

Anyway, there is definitely hope. Don't give up. : )

OP is in therapy, so not sure what you mean by get help?

Some strategies for getting people to respect you even though they don't understand you :

1. Make sure to listen carefully to the other person so you can react appropriately, this shows them that you respect them, so they will (possibly) respect you back.
2. Talk to your therapist about Dialectical behavior therapy-- there is a section in there with getting needs met by using some techniques in conversation; they are pretty good, I use them often.
3. Try not to let the fact that people misunderstand you make you angry, people are often misunderstood and it's a social convention to "cover it up" so to speak. Find positive outlets for your anger so that it doesn't build up and get you in conflicts with others.

I'd say that finding a good book on Asperger's would be a very good idea. There are some things that are next to impossible to convey to people who have never experienced such things themselves. Seeing it laid out in a book would make things clearer.

Sorry took so long to reply everyone. I was away from the internet.

I did not feel this way when I was younger. I am now an adult. I learned early on if someone didn't understand me I just had to stop being friends with them because they never would. This current feeling is happening because close family have admitted to not understanding me and suddenly don't respect my needs, by which I refer to those related to having Aspergers. So yeah... not what you experienced at all.

My profile says not officially diagnosed, but the psychiatrist (I already go help see) I go to specializes in both children and adults and she said she's qualified to make a diagnoses and from what i've seen seems to know her stuff, and she says it's very likely that I have some sort of persuasive developmental disorder. We haven't discussed yet a diagnoses since I'm an adult and it would be pretty painstaking and not very helpful to have a dx where I live so we'll see.

Spanish.

I don't think this is a normal part of growing up like I stated in my previous reply. And I don't think I've ever felt I had much in common with anyone else except on the internet in places filled with introverts who often have similar but toned down problems.

I'd love to start from scratch but I'm not independent. I rely on the family I'm not getting along with so I have to figure out what to do.

Thank you for actually listing some things I can do. I do #1, but it doesn't work. I will look up #2 and talk to my psych. And I totally didn't know #3. I'm not really able to control it but I'll talk to my psych about finding ways to calm down.

Thanks