Ex-gay aspie

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I'm an ex-gay aspie and I want to know if I'm the only one.

thanks.

Congratulations on finding yourself.

It is not possible to be ex-gay. You were either never gay to begin with or you are just in denial about being gay.

People report it changing pretty frequently.

huh???

It's neither static nor black n' white.

Yeah sexuality is fluid for a lot of people. Though 'ex-gay' is a term most commonly used by people who have been through some kind of 'reparative-therapy' or view themselves as 'cured' or something of that ilk. I've never heard of the term being used by somebody who thinks of their sexuality as fluid and is fine with the possibility of experiencing same sex attraction at some point in the future.

it' an odd turn of phrase. i don't think i've ever seen a gay person call themselves "ex-straight"

That is a pretty presumptuous thing to say, DevilKisses. You have not been privileged to share pat_can's life, thoughts and experiences, yet you presume to know what is and is not possible? How is that any different than the person who responds to someone who has come out as gay with the statement, "Oh, that's just a phase." That's pretty shameful behaviour.

Let's be clear, I firmly believe that so-called ex-gay therapy isn't worth a bucket of warm spit. But that does not mean that there are not people for whom sexuality changes, either spontaneously, or as an aspect of deliberate effort on their part. If somebody tells me that he is gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, or any other sexuality, I will do him the respect of believing what he tells me. And the same goes for someone who describes himself as ex-gay.

pat_can first raised this issue back in May 2012: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4664701.html#4664701
More detail here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4666616.html#4666616
Warning: it's a PPR thread so things get quite heated...

Thanks for that trip down amnesia lane, Cornflake.

And fortunately I can hold my head up, having been true to my principle of respecting pat_can's self identification as an ex-gay, while identifying his claims regarding ex-gay programs as lies.

I don't want to open the discussion but to know if other aspie struggled with an unwanted same sex attraction in the past.

I used to try to not be pansexual when I was little as religion made it feel dirty. I respect your choice to identify as ex-gay but I can't relate in anyway as I'd be wholeheartedly denying a huge part of myself that I finally realized will always be there, will let itself be known and can't be ignored. I'm with a man but that in no way changes my orientation.

So you think that all of ex-gays were in fact bisexual or pansexual to begin with?

^ I'd say that's likely to be the case.
I think people may move through their experience of sexuality at different times, in response to different situations. But that the underlying inclination was always there, whether you were in the right frame of mind to understand it or not.
Maybe you'd been gay all your life, but suddenly circumstances converge and you find yourself attracted to someone of the opposite sex. I'd interpret that was you had bisexual makeup there all the time, but for whatever reason, could only understand yourself as gay until that moment.
Seems the phrase "ex gay" is confusing. It seems to imply "cure," or at least reform from a bad habit - ex-alcoholic, ex-smoker, ex-addict etc. And I know lots of alcoholics who still identify as alcoholics even if they haven't had a drink in 30 years. Why be adversarial to the idea? Unless you had something against being gay to begin with - and internalized homophobia and self-denial isn't reform. What happens if you one day develop attraction to someone of the same sex again? Does that make you an ex-ex-gay?
What's wrong with considering yourself bisexual, but at the moment your interest is in members of the other sex? Or just not identifying with any particular sexuality at all - you like who you like and gender doesn't matter? Why the "ex"?

You do realise this thread you've posted in is from 4 years ago right? People who posted that probs won't even be here now. There's a date on posts above the post text.