Not teaching self confidence?

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http://www.jewishworldreview.com/0113/r ... O3h7m_C18E

I found this article very interesting. In dealing with more and more young people, I am beginning to believe this is very true.

what does it says?

it's a long one

i would glad for answer - really

Good article. This is probably the biggest difference in point of view between our generation and the previous. Where previously over achievement / go getter attitude was highly valued and encouraged, today it just doesn't work, at the end common sense prevails.

I've seen something similar, and we have adopted it - basically, we praise my son's effort and not results. We praise the effort he puts into things even when he doesn't succeed the way he wants to (and conversely we try to connect a lack of effort with consequences when it is pertinent.)

I think this was the article: http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/

It is difficult when you have a smart kid who struggles with some things not to focus on the smart and talk about it, but we try (I don't shy away from telling him that he's smart, either - but I don't make that the focus when he succeeds at something.)

The article is interesting, but doesn't really address the damage of low self-esteem. The article states that people with high self-esteem are especially prone to depression, I would have to say kids with low self-esteem are equally prone to depression. My DS 9 has a lot of courage, but low self-esteem He daily takes on tasks that he is not sure he will be successful (he is very anxious, and a very negative thinker), but nonetheless tries. I am extremely proud of him. I just wish I could help him be more proud of himself.

I've read a similar argument as presented in this article. On Winston Wu's Happier Abroad website, can't find the link to it atm.

Anyway, I was raised with the "oldschool" mindset, either that or I gleaned it somehow from watching too much old media as a kid or something. Either way, I have such oldschool mentality.

I'm of the opinion high self esteem doesn't lead to results. Take any sport. You can't be like "Yeah man, I'm the best because I am" and expect to do good in a sport. Even if naturally gifted, without drive or determination it's irrelevant. It's this way with anything in life.

My friend describes this scenario. He works at Pizza Hut. People brag about how they're the best dough flippers or whatever, without any real basis. Meanwhile he doesn't brag about such things and people marvel at him when he makes some pizza combination or something nobody ever thought of before. One has high self esteem and accomplishes nothing, the other doesn't and accomplishes something.



This is the problem presented of self esteem. It's like living in the Matrix if you will. On one end, you can have people with high self esteem that don't accomplish anything and have no skills. On the other, geniuses too unsure of themselves to show anything to the world or act on their ideas. So some middle ground must be found, humility probably being the better place to lean towards. But Shaw's quote is true, generally the people with high self esteem should not have it, and generally the people with low should.

I don't know. I think they are taking a term out of context:

Research strongly suggests that people with high regard for themselves have correspondingly low regard for others and that high self-esteem is highly associated with antisocial behavior like bullying.

I think it's more about balance. You can't develop self-esteem without teaching empathy. They go hand-in-hand. People who have "high regards for themselves [and then bully]" do not have high self-esteem. I think the article's statement has been unfairly generalized and should have emphasized more about the importance of teaching empathy towards others. I don't think having a high self-esteem is the same as having a "high regard for oneself". The latter just means you act like you are better than everyone else which equates to having a low self-esteem. Also, being a high-achiever doesn't mean you have high self-esteem either. There's a lot of generalizations made in the article.

My high acheiving type nature in some things stems from low self esteem. If you're already awesome, why improve?

My point exactly. If you have a low self-esteem then you don't truly think you're awsome.

I was taught courage, humility and honor as a kid.

3 dying virtues.