Helpful tips for Aspies and meeting new people

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I'd like to hear what some of you have done to overcome and become more social and gets dates.

A few things I did:

1. Got in shape and started a workout routine - does wonders for confidence - joined a 24 hour gym and went at 3 in the morning to start - read about it intently on the internet and got an app for my phone that shows me all the excercises. When you get over that hump and you start to see the difference in yourself and you stick to the routine, the feeling is unmatched...

2. Lost the 'Woe is me attitude' - I played the victim for the longest time - yea my parents sucked growing up, people were mean to me, no one gets me, but I found a way to forgive those people and lose all the hatred I was carrying - people you meet can 'feel' that when you carry it inside, not sure how to explain it. How? you say - I read this book called the OZ principal which is centered on accountability for business leaders, I applied its principals to my personal life.

3. Started volunteering - forget the Karma, you meet some decent people volunteering - I've had some pretty good relationships with some women I met working for habitat for humanity - I actually broke up with one of them but still talk to her - which is a first for me.

4. Stopped gaming - MMOs and video games in general are great for Aspies - we can be great at something in front of other people and say as much or as little as we want and get respected for it. However I realized that world wasn't real and I was regressing even further into being asocial.

I would love to hear what other things people have done to improve their social situations - books you've read, anything... I'm by no means 'normal' but these four things alone changed my whole perspective on life, made me a better person and got me more dates - anything positive you've done.

These are good tips, although I believe you shouldn't have to give up your hobbies in order to better yourself (however nerdy they are); the key here is moderation. If you do nothing but sit and play games all day then that's a problem (just as doing anything to that degree would be), but in itself I don't think video games are a bad thing, and can even be a social activity for those that enjoy it. Expanding your horizons never hurts, though!

As for what I've done to better myself, letting go of the mistakes I've made, forgiving the people who I felt had hurt me, forgiving myself for my faults (while at the same time taking steps to fix the ones I felt were problematic) and overall focusing my energy on the present rather than dwelling on the past is the best thing I could have done for myself. Self reflection is a good thing, but when it gets to a point when all you are doing is beating yourself up it is no longer serving it's purpose.

This year I'm taking the "forgiveness" angle further by realising that all the judgements I make about people are in some way rooted in my own fears, and addressing these fears will help me be a kinder, more accepting person overall. Not being consumed by negative thoughts about others is just as important as not being consumed by negative thoughts about myself.

In reality none of the things you mention affect the ability to meet people (well, maybe the attitude thing can stop you from expanding on meeting people). The real thing needed is an actual want to meet people and the ability to go after it. Yea not everyone is going to like you, it just happens. But if you can muster through enough and keep going and actually try anyone can surely meet people

I do all the things you mention, but I still easily fall into being selfish with my actions and negative with my thinking. So I also do a meditation and try to think and visualize helping people, especially those I'm currently resentful of, which really helps me keep moving in a positive direction. This also helps a lot with worries and anxieties, if you can keep your heart set on helping others as the first priority, one is much less afraid and less worried about impressing or controlling people.

Of course lots of sleep and exercise are needed to even be able to get into the space of being able to think of such things. Games...I become obsessed for a few weeks...and then just uninstall or my life is ruined. If you play games by yourself 365 you are missing out on everything.